Grateful hateful yet alive.  Ok so I have had a good time slacking, hardly leaving the homestead. I dont know, I think the world is hard.  So many sad people, or are they just putting on a sad face?

how can one not be affected by such gloomy faces and dispositions? it seems we put on a face to go outside. I want to like everyone, yet I know that is foolish. I dont want to like anyone who does not like me anymore. is that selfish?

I think it is. I feel that people think I am judging them by my observations, but I am just having a good time thinking this life out. for me, I do not want to be a statue, my thinking set in stone. I want to be malleable accepting of others thinking, but not influenced. Eye have never liked being told what to think, we get it almost as a bombardment on TV internet. The Google and FAcebook have put themselves above the people. The devil sits on our porch and we all subscribe. you know it is the classic love hate relationship. I love that I can see all the people in my life back to my beginnings, yet I hate that I am just a part of the sheep being herded along by these Billionaire entities. I have to work today, I think I may have a job. my unenjoyment is going to run out soon, so I will have to hustle up something. worst case scenario take a job. you know it is nice not driving out of my zone. the weather is delightful, even the rain. supposed to be 70 today. I have given up on the google ads. they are a ripoff. I need to rise up this year. I know it is on the horizon. or maybe just take my Social security and run and hide. i have learned a lot over the last 30 years. the old mighty dollar is king. so mother earth be kind to the humans. hahahha ok getting stupid now.