my life if full of adversity, The Stage 4 throat cancer is in the top ten, but my adversity of living with one eyeball has been a tougher sell, you know how many companies, want a  one eyed carpenter?  they prefer to run you off, especially in Arizona, but it is pervasive, I worked my ass off, and gave 100 percent of every job, what gave me this courage against all odds? what gave me the confidence to pull it off for many years?  MY BRO tally, helped, he once said, if another man can do it, I can do it. that and I have always, thought I was better, faster, the was from baseball, I played well, as a kid, without and real training, or foundation, as the other kids had. Mr Arispe gave me the chance, bless his family. But I had 2 eyes then, well after losing me eye. I thought I was finished, as crippled, well the United States Social Security had different ideas and shut that Idea down, just could not be a pilot. I have been made fun of most of my working career especially, when I had an ugly eye, some of those clowns should be arrested for selling such crap. I am grateful to Dr. Warner at Alaska Native Hospital who  got me an integrated scleral implant, that provides some movement and connect it with a coral shell. before that I was a mary python movie, but none of that gave me confidence, I already has some from fishing on boats, but my big boost came with my Uncle Bill Osborn, he hired me on the Andronica for a brown crab season in the Bering Sea.  Brown Crab is done with pyramid post and they come in strings of pots, 22 to a string, if I remember, I spent 3 months in the bering.  my paycheck 700 bones, but I would do it again, we were machines, we fished 5 of us Capt Bill, Cook anthony gay bearded man, who cooked eggs benedict everyday, what was the name of the other deckhand… brad.. not sure, but he played football at the university of Idaho, and had some hot chick and a nice rx7 his second trip crabbing, but he once blamed me for some tubs swinging around on deck, which i already knew how to tie shit off, he later apologized for his shitty knots and letting me look like the slacker, then there was.. the drunk hydo man, I think skelly, last name, only drunk for a few day, until he ran out, no this was the trip and boat that gave me the confidence to tackle and survive. unlike salmon fishing, you had to use electrical tape to seal in your wrist and ankles, otherwise you got wet, well you were wet anyway, from sweat, We were a one crew boat, other boats had 2 shift of crews out there, we seen the Viking? something they looked like dead men fishing, but the only time we went to land was on kiska island, and only the dock. more later. I learned to head into the engine room between strings, to get some much needed shut eye, otherwise, you waste time and never get rest. I loved to sleep when not fishing, rest until pile up sleep, it was regular to fish until we had to find the strings, we never shut down. I got washed across the deck with my head landing into the hopper, which was quite a wave, as the hopper was 4 ft off the deck. I had the best crab legs ever on this trip, RED KING crab, delicious.i never tried or wanted special treatment for having one eye, actually tried to hide it, hard when you look like your looking 4 ways at the same time. still people can give me shit, recently I went to see my cousin todd, his wife says “how are you? you still have one eye?” HAHA WTF. I had this one journeyman the son of the company owner “Bobby Voss” he would use wooden eye jokes, daily, but he taught me alot, I turned off my feelings, I needed  to learn to be the best, I was fast in those day, not as precise as i should have been.  Arizona was the worst, but it sounds like I am whining, and I have some work to do. One thing I remember, my uncle used to eat these canned fish balls, they smelled like human balls, like a locker room.