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So far richard@azbuild.com has created 398 blog entries.

June 2022

Eye was wrong dong silver

2022-06-28T12:36:55-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

YOu know how you think your right, convinced you did the right thing? then it becomes convincing  yourself you did the right thing, well at that point, YOU KNOW, I failed my own test again. Damage control  is  trickier, I Like the live, forgive and forget in that order, sometimes things come sneaking back, best to be careful. I need a shocker, I can push a button when I get caught up. I always say it is harder with family, I want things to be good healthy and fun, maybe its not in the cards, but I must be virteous loving  and forgiving. I know its best to put blinders on, play dumb, and that can be easy baby easy. special thank you to Dr. Green

made it through by the hair of my chinny chin chin

2022-06-24T08:04:11-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Big Dummy, yes that is me, I have to quit giving the bank away, everything starts and end with pricing. 900 on paint 2 days work, net after paint 300, no pay for me, that is how this job went usually by the end of the job, I am flush, not during the biden years, he won on his promise to save the world from covid, instead he got us supporting a War, and doing his damnedest to start a world war. lucky for us, the president has limited powers, but the rest of the dumshits keep pumping billions into the war. They are all profiteers, making money on the misery of Ukraine, this war is supported by Our government. this has been a regional conflict for [...]

time for a reset, Alaska on the horizon

2022-06-23T09:23:01-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

finished latest project is always a welcome relief. nice garage. looking forward to heading to Anchor town for about a week.  hocus focus, what is important?  I think making a check of myself and keeping on a even keel, no politics or My opinions would be a great start, try to listen...... hard for me, I need a shut off switch for me flapper :) hahaha no can do seek fun build relationships build trust nurture be nature and nurture. time for some gaming uhhh ok, I was thinking about Hate, you know when you h8t someone.   I can honestly say, I hate nobody on this planet or anywhere. I often wonder if their is hate for me out there? for the most part we are left [...]

May 2022

love the one your with, if you cant be with the one your with…

2022-05-25T06:18:42-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I love this song, for me it means more than just a personal relationship, but in all things, about accepting whatever comes my way, I guess this has always been my mantra, just in the past few years has it grown to be part of my character, on the other hand, just laying down and accepting everything has never been my way.  I know that without mixing it up, little happens in life, nobody is going to throw me a rope or lifeline, or even give a rats ass. that is the way it is, live it deal with it. I have had a successful life, very successful, let me tell you why, I broke the cycle, no not a bicycle, but the cycle of poor pitiful [...]

Sunday for funday or do nothing

2022-06-12T11:33:45-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

feeling a little on the fat making side today, I know I was drinking too much milk again, that stuff is addicting to me, but o it feels so good. I am just a human sensor, I live my life now, sensing everything, from sounds, vision, food, people and my own thoughts, this I have been aware of but not until I heard it on another lecture on Wonderium in a new course called how to stop overthinking, and as it turns out, some of my overthinking is not that at all, actually most of it is making educated mostly well thought out decisions. and the rest.. POPPYCOCK, yes mind bullshit, fabrications, which can not be stopped by any amount of thinking, they can only [...]

Being tired feels so good, it makes doing nothing a good time, somtimes being bored out of your mind, is a good thing

2022-06-12T11:33:45-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Well got the roof framed and almost ready for inspection, I do need to rethink my business model, breaking even is not as desired as you would expect :/ I read this article in JLC light Construction about billing cost plus, and I think that is the way I need to go, this and charging for estimates, I have been using square ft pricing and it works, until they change all the variables. that is work, I am thinking about posting on my 2tribes site about this last project.  I am pretty much breaking even, only without being able to pay myself, but cover my expenses to  live on this earth, and not new tools, I did have to buy a new Sawzall, or reciprocating saw, cuz [...]

The Native conspiracy, be white or die

2022-05-15T12:57:28-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I have this recording of my granny on my phone, she talks of marrying her own kind, this has been something that has been floating around in my brain for quite some time. My mon married her own kind, my dad was at least part Native, and it turns out Scandinavian & Scottish  too.  they did not last long, well if you ask them, they last a long long time, 10 years, Ive been married over 30 years, wow, that is a grand thing. that someone, anyone could stand me for more than a few years, you know, my longest job, was 2 years, so for me, it is a milestone. ok I have concocted a conspiracy theory, ok so it is as crazy as old Erik [...]

Eye Sea a lot of sadness

2022-05-15T12:06:29-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

We choose what we see. when I am about and about I try to see happy people, yet most of the time, the happy people are far and fleeting, is this the face of our lives? our own perceptions can be misleading, yet I can not shake the feeling we are all doomed to life life of robots. unhappy and always wanting more, please sir, can I have some more, one of my favorite quips for a poor london kid begging for some food. I am trying to wonder why eye see sad people, is this because they are sad?  are we all under this supervision or restraint of the populous? the popular views? I'm going to give to much information in these next clips, because I [...]

one week of work makes one weak

2022-05-14T10:31:08-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

my fingers hurt my toe throbs after a week of  roof framing, it went well, got the gable fascia installed, just need to do the eaves, took longer than expected, but I tried to make everything true and straight, looks good. I feel good but me body is tired, it feels good, real good actually, I can not imagine just laying around and trying to feel good, just dont see it.   So I had a conniption, or shit fit bout just bullshit. sometimes I have no idea what drives me, I do know that I have to make sure to keep my composure, sometimes a quip is more than just a quip. The truth, I have a lot of baggage, stuff that I have been carrying [...]

surviving The Poison within ;/

2022-06-12T11:33:45-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Wow, had a great time in Washington State, was everything I expected and much more :)  my son Richard was playing his new album, had a good family showing from both sides of the isle, and some childhood friends from Arizona (Richards) I have none :/ lol  I will post his songs on here, they pretty good, even thought I heard some skynyrd  sounds, tuesdays gone with the wind, but not exact or even close just the same vibe :) but alas, as this is my vent machine, my diary, my say what I want feel and fuk the rest.... Not really but, I feel some pain, the pain of others, the same pain I live with and try to escape, it runs rampant in my family, [...]

heading up to rainville hahaha just kidding Washingtonians, be nice to see the Emerald State again

2022-05-05T18:04:09-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I been busy as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. started the framing, been focused, keep forgetting my camera to make videos, next week, anyway hit a snag of sorts, a couple of days ago after getting the beams all up and framed in, I got home, tired but feeling good, but while the shower, I noticed something in my eye, it would not wash out, it was really pesky and painful, anyway I been focus on the framing and gitn er done. I went the next day and was doing pickup bull this and my eye was killing me, mostly when I looked a certain way, I ended up quitting early and heading to the Indian hospital, lucky for me they had an [...]

April 2022

more than a feeling

2022-04-25T08:01:32-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

yes, more than a feeling, I wonder if birds worry about thier next meal, or do they just go out and get it? I wonder because you dont see to many fat birds :) at least too fat to fly. I broke my fast, well.. kinda I had dinner with my sister and brother in law, I think that is what they are, my wifes brother and his wife?    all these damn labels, anyway i have just thought of him as my wife's  brother. WE had some Mexican food, it was pretty good, overcooked the meat, but better safe than sorry, I usually get the fajitas, pretty healthy unless you eat the tortilla. I have been also eating some macadamia's and sardines in olive oil. feel [...]

switching gears

2022-04-23T10:48:57-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Ok, last night was the first night without the crazy legs, I did use a heating pad, more convenient than a soak. I switched to the old atkins fat fast, which included an avocado, small can of red salmon, macadamia nuts and a nice guzzle of organic milk, but still fasting, well actually I am mostly on a 4 to 8 fast, which means only eating during those hours.  not problem, easy peasy. except need my coffee fix 4 to 8 cups a day. I will try to keep the keto aspect for awhile until I lose a few more pounds. maybe take a hike today. I should work on the pavers, but not as much fun as being out on the trails. I have come to [...]

might as well be talking to the moon, is this normal?

2022-04-22T18:43:03-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

what is normal, I guess it is different for everyone. you every ask someone a question, and they ignore It?   I think that means fk off, at least in my tiny brain. what are some people afraid of? hurting your feelings by saying the wrong thing? I dont know about you, but I would rather someone just say beat it fuck off. why waste you time and my time? so many questions Anyhoo, well I am on day 4 of my fast, yesterday was a little tough, I was getting hunger pangs, they only last a sec or two, but come back unless I trick them with some; turmeric laced with chicken broth, or some hot cinnamon water; or a bite of some ginger, all these help [...]

here today, gone tomorrow..

2022-04-21T08:42:57-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

We all come with an expiration date, but unlike milk or credit cards, we have no Idea when our time will come. Gordon Puller recently passed away, I did not know him personally, but more as a Native leader in the Kodiak community,  I remember seeing him on planes headed into the emerald island. He chose the tribal route in Native affairs, which was behind the scenes more than the "Corporate Natives"  which I suppose comes with  a lot less feuding and posturing to make the big time. Condolences to Gordon, he seemed like a good person:(

prisoner of my own passions

2022-04-20T09:27:05-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I dare not, I do not, yet I do My mind is a fickle monster. I have to come to the big Picture, soak it in, become one with the picture. that is Nobody wants to be told how to think, how to feel, how to eat, they need to find that on themselves, I am powerless to help the world, it gives me anguish to no end. I have recently been under siege, my condition, crazy legs, increased calorie consumption, feeling stress, lack of sleep. So it was time for a reset, that includes a saltwater flush, clean out that Colon, i have done this for years, sometimes year apart, but it always cleans out the tubes. I remember the first time, I was over 200 [...]

We all live in a yellow submarine

2022-04-18T10:05:20-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Well I found a good book, it is called "the Power of now" written by Eckhart Tolle, it is a guide to a life of mindfulness. I have a pile of books to read, but this one has gone to the top of the list, he writes clearly about a difficult subject, our own minds. To be able to control oneself in this topsy turvy world can be difficult if not impossible.  We are bombarded with media, news and just useless information. to find the truth, you must seek the truth, even then, it can be a quagmire to navigate to an honest answer, who do we trust?  I say nobody, the news, for sure not, the American politicians? absolutely NOT, the Russian Oligarchs? no way, they [...]

EGO trip baby, I am on an EGO trip jK

2022-04-13T13:41:52-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

short so the Ego is not a good thing, I know this, yet it is part of who I am. We are our Ego, like the peacock, who ruffles his feathers, I know to keep it in check, but without some personal bravado, not at the expense of others, but some personal triumph, I dont think I could have, or would have done most of my life, I would be living  somewhere or nowhere, but not the same, even the one-eyed man has to have some ego, or sense of self worth. mine cam from fighting, sleeping around and using my brain. I know that my Ego is me, but not me. confused, I am at times, try living in me brain I used to call my [...]

h8tful christians? are they the lost tribe of Jesus?

2022-04-13T12:37:24-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I was reading some facebook post, mostly I try not to get into judging other peoples thinking, except on here, my safe place :/ yeah right! So any hoo, there is an awful lot of post how, christians, at least, they proclaim to be in the know. They are saying without christ you are no good, or words to that effect. Now i AM no christian scholar for sure, but that was the reason Christ was crucified, for believing different than the Romans. This rings of some crazy Christian like David Koresh, Jim Jones, charley Manson and Keith Raniere just to name a few, to me jesus was about forgiveness and  love this smacks of low self esteem, to me. how can anyone be so inclined to [...]

but im tired.. I seen his face, I knew it was NO, now you kinda funny too

2022-04-13T07:52:27-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Well I am tired for sure, just paid 4 grand to home depot, that is hard, but at least I can pay it, and have most of the lumber I need, I am probably making Alaska Apprentice wages at this point, like brother gilbert likes to say, working for peanuts. well its all me own faults, I know this, I was pretty cocky, I could build a garage for that price, well, I can, but not much left over after paying the price butchers, just osb alone went from 13 bones to above 50, and they have no shortage of supply, Home depot is stocked to the brim. never seen so may tools and lumber, same with the tool houses, its all a fucken greed grab, just [...]

lonely days are gone, I’m a going home

2022-04-03T15:14:34-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

This is from a song, but this post had me thinking, it was in a facebook stoic group, which like all groups are more about Ego than learning, anyway this practicing stoic says, he has been practicing his stoicism and believes it leads to loneliness, I was taken aback, as this was the same thinking I had embraced, at least his we die alone, are born alone and live alone in our own thinking, yes I believe so, but the lonely part was perplexing, I started to respond on several attempts, but ultimately declined. I am lonely in my thoughts at times, but unless we are all robots, which would be akin to an ant colony, at least my perceived view of ants, and ant colonies. We [...]

cant hit the broadside of a bar :)

2022-04-03T13:02:14-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I am afraid it is true, took my new to me browning bar 30-06 to the range yesterday, started out at 25 yards, missing down 3 and 3 to the right, well made some adjustments, and it was trouble for me, it was crowded and had not wrench, unbeknownst to me, I had put the scope  on wrong, my elevation was on the windage side, but I had no Idea what was going on, anyway, I was able to get on the target at 100 yards, but only by moving my aim around, that and the assholes next to me were either aiming their spent shells at me on purpose or just some more inconsiderate dumb humans, I had an urge to punch the fat one in [...]

Pawn stars, we all are pawn stars

2022-04-03T08:38:56-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Finding the truth in our society is near impossible for me... Ok, so this Ukraine War is Biden war, him and his son Hunter, that is the far right, the capitol stormers take on why Joe has such a personal interest. All this is bullshit, WE are just Pawns in a mud slinking war between Democrat/ communist and republican/ Nazis  their sole motivation for all of this is a smokescreen of what is really going on. What I am implying is that it is all bullshit. Covid: Bullshit Masks: bullshit  war in Ukraine: bullshit  Afghanistan: bullshit  Inflation: bullshit  shortages: bullshit. there is more to come, mark my word, the puppet masters are not done yet, they plan some new world order, a cold war? I have no [...]

March 2022

nice day of rest

2022-03-30T06:26:26-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

had a good nap yesterday, my knee has started to heal, or the inflammation is going away. I am reminded of my age when these things happen, I often think that we get warning signs of our ultimate demise, a friendly reminder to relish the life we have left on this wonderful planet. its going to be a nice sun shiny day, looking forward to working on my tan. love getting the Vitamin D, I feel so alive when I am in the sun working or playing. I am starting to wonder if I should ever leave this valley, well I do not want to spend summers here. I need to win the lottery and then I can build summer cabins in all my favorite places Washington [...]

Darkness of the light

2022-03-30T06:10:20-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

let the light in, close out the dark. I had an ephiany today, we are like birds, dogs, and all animals, we are animals, but we do not have to be. Maybe it is a better life to be  bird or dog. To be self aware, means we have to look at our lives, all lives, our species. where do I fit in? what is it all for? are we a good thing? We are of earth, we are earthlings. (Big smile)  I like being an earthling, an aware earthling, aware of my own minute status amongst our universe and beyond, just like Woody's friend Buzz lightyear, to Infinite and beyond. smelling the roses for me, just looking around at all the colors and saying I am [...]

going to Seattle

2022-03-29T07:58:12-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

yes, next month we are Seattle bound for a weekend.  Sweet Mary is talking about going to Seattle for my 60th birthday, I really want to go to Anchorage for my MOMS 80th birthday, this July, never heard anything about my new GC  on graduation, better to not think or interject myself, I think I tried enough, it is good enough, that  a heathen such as me is even acknowledged :/ Just kidding, not a heathen, just have my own brain and way of thinking about truth justice and the American way. sometimes I amused, even me ownself :) my mom is selling her Condo, but I did the Comps, and it looks like she is not going to sell at her hard point.  perhaps 250, but [...]

rainy day today in the desert

2022-03-29T07:48:01-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I got nothing, nada zip. procrastination? perhaps, but it is wet outside, let it dry out a little I remember working construction in California, even the hint of rain, we went home, in Anchorage, we would work all day, popping breakers and getting soaked, the worst was in the mud. blew my knee out pulling weeds, go figure, probably overuse, damn, well I have found the best way to heal is to work through the pain. not much sleep last night, but when it came, I was out like a light bulb. been having some weird dreams, dreamed of my Aunt Tina, I could only see here through a window, and wanted to go visit her, but did not feel wanted or welcome, that has been a [...]

Biding time for time for Biden

2022-03-26T11:22:17-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Warning political pie hole opinions from  my brain!! I just listened to President Joe Biden speech on the war in Ukraine.  I think he did a good job.  not vilifying the Russian people, but where the crosshairs should lie, on the Government, just like our Government, we the people have little to do with on the World stage. We get to vote, but that is where it stops.  we saw them  break up protesters in our own state, and thank GOD we have freedom of the Press, but we do not control that either, we are at the whims of the Mega Rich Publishers, as are all the reporters and underlings of such organizations, the Money Rules America, corruption will always be  a problem. I say this, [...]

Happy friday earthlings, an apology is in order? to myself? but why Master Richard?

2022-03-25T08:46:33-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I will tell you why, because when you speak poison it does not poison anyone but yourself, it may poison someone against you, just for showing you Human side, my human side is a cummilaion of my life. So... I was berating a contractor for being overweight, I think fat is the term I was using. They say that you hate what is in you, that is true with me, I hate that I battle everyday not to stuff my face with anything and everything, like Pops used to say: "I am on the Seafood diet, I see food and I eat it" Even eating a healthy diet, I am hardwired to overeat, it is brutal, especially doing hard labor, you body say fuel me NOW. so [...]

slick as a used car salesman

2022-03-23T07:01:42-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

BEWARE!! RANT Ok rocky start to my new project, no  problem, best to get the bullshit out of the way.  hired a gravel man, or at least that is the name of his business, he talks a great story, all lies, left me with a pile of dirt, and twice as much work to do. he was either stupid as a rock, or  as crooked as a winding stream. The Stoic in me says expect this from people, I dont like it, but it is true, if your expectations are to get what you paid for, well I did not pre pay him, I did pay him for the dirt I didn't need and for showing up twice, i did not want to, but maybe in his [...]

My dream o so dreadful

2022-03-22T08:48:46-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I woke up this morning and turned on the Roku news, it showed wind blowing through a town, my first thought, they had exploded a nuke, but in fact, it was a tornado, brought me back to my dream, when the sky exploded, or more accurately collapsed in one of my dreams. it was the end.  That was my thought as i woke up, grateful it was a  dream. I find it discerning that we are under the lies and incompetence of government and the press, I watched this tucker Carlson video about how Ukraine is not a democracy, it is true, he has silenced all political parties and turned off the press. I have always said, Power corrupts, and he might have been credible, except his [...]

love me do

2022-03-22T08:20:21-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

love love love, it is great to be loved, I am loved, our dogs all love me. I can not imagine life without these dogs, they are splendid,  i have spoiled them for sure.  Jt gets them pup cups almost everyday from Dutch brother coffee, I get a  reg cup with cream :) they make me  a better human,  they give you love looks all the time, so sure, it may be please give me a snack looks, but I am pretty sure at least 25 % are  love looks, looks of love, I read somewhere that they get as much good as we do in this pet human encounter.  I try to take each of them on a walk, well my version which is a rollerblade [...]

wow that got ugly quick hahahhahah

2022-03-22T07:55:00-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I love to write this bullshit, it is true, well my feeling as I write it, not like I am mad," it is what it is" were all fucked anyway. really we are, but lets have some grateful talk. We can post or say whatever we want in this county, just think if we lived in Ukraine, or Russian, they will have you poisoned, or banned, zelenski just banned all the opposition, Is Zelensky’s party crackdown his first mistake? | The Spectator there are even report of them castrating russian solders Ukrainian doctor tells TV interviewer he has ordered his staff to CASTRATE Russian soldiers | Daily Mail Online these are two countries that have been embattled forever.  I think of this as a modern day  England/Scotland  [...]

Seattle bound for a weekend

2022-03-22T07:43:52-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

looking forward to Seattle and some cool rain or fantastic sunshine, it has both. My Eldest Son has a debut Album, not sure of the specifics, but it should be fun, going to see my uncle and my brother for sure too. Been Working on a new Garage build, things have changed, running into lots of problems with my new Business name 2Tribes, Arizona is a cowboy state and Indians are hated, Every project has run into problems that RSJ never had. so be it, fuck em. one example, I got a quote that was for lumber under my old name RSJ, it was good for 2 weeks, upon the name change, they upped the price, they actually tried to cheat me, the fat lady sitting at [...]

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