richard@azbuild.com

Well I found a good book, it is called "the Power of now" written by Eckhart Tolle, it is a guide to a life of mindfulness. I have a pile of books to read, but this one has gone to the top of the list, he writes clearly about a difficult subject, our own minds. To be able to control oneself in this topsy turvy world can be difficult if not impossible.  We are bombarded with media, news and just useless information. to find the truth, you must seek the truth, even then, it can be a quagmire to navigate to an honest answer, who do we trust?  I say nobody, the news, for sure not, the American politicians? absolutely NOT, the Russian Oligarchs? no way, they [...]

I was reading some facebook post, mostly I try not to get into judging other peoples thinking, except on here, my safe place :/ yeah right! So any hoo, there is an awful lot of post how, christians, at least, they proclaim to be in the know. They are saying without christ you are no good, or words to that effect. Now i AM no christian scholar for sure, but that was the reason Christ was crucified, for believing different than the Romans. This rings of some crazy Christian like David Koresh, Jim Jones, charley Manson and Keith Raniere just to name a few, to me jesus was about forgiveness and  love this smacks of low self esteem, to me. how can anyone be so inclined to [...]

I am afraid it is true, took my new to me browning bar 30-06 to the range yesterday, started out at 25 yards, missing down 3 and 3 to the right, well made some adjustments, and it was trouble for me, it was crowded and had not wrench, unbeknownst to me, I had put the scope  on wrong, my elevation was on the windage side, but I had no Idea what was going on, anyway, I was able to get on the target at 100 yards, but only by moving my aim around, that and the assholes next to me were either aiming their spent shells at me on purpose or just some more inconsiderate dumb humans, I had an urge to punch the fat one in [...]

had a good nap yesterday, my knee has started to heal, or the inflammation is going away. I am reminded of my age when these things happen, I often think that we get warning signs of our ultimate demise, a friendly reminder to relish the life we have left on this wonderful planet. its going to be a nice sun shiny day, looking forward to working on my tan. love getting the Vitamin D, I feel so alive when I am in the sun working or playing. I am starting to wonder if I should ever leave this valley, well I do not want to spend summers here. I need to win the lottery and then I can build summer cabins in all my favorite places Washington [...]

yes, next month we are Seattle bound for a weekend.  Sweet Mary is talking about going to Seattle for my 60th birthday, I really want to go to Anchorage for my MOMS 80th birthday, this July, never heard anything about my new GC  on graduation, better to not think or interject myself, I think I tried enough, it is good enough, that  a heathen such as me is even acknowledged :/ Just kidding, not a heathen, just have my own brain and way of thinking about truth justice and the American way. sometimes I amused, even me ownself :) my mom is selling her Condo, but I did the Comps, and it looks like she is not going to sell at her hard point.  perhaps 250, but [...]

I got nothing, nada zip. procrastination? perhaps, but it is wet outside, let it dry out a little I remember working construction in California, even the hint of rain, we went home, in Anchorage, we would work all day, popping breakers and getting soaked, the worst was in the mud. blew my knee out pulling weeds, go figure, probably overuse, damn, well I have found the best way to heal is to work through the pain. not much sleep last night, but when it came, I was out like a light bulb. been having some weird dreams, dreamed of my Aunt Tina, I could only see here through a window, and wanted to go visit her, but did not feel wanted or welcome, that has been a [...]

I will tell you why, because when you speak poison it does not poison anyone but yourself, it may poison someone against you, just for showing you Human side, my human side is a cummilaion of my life. So... I was berating a contractor for being overweight, I think fat is the term I was using. They say that you hate what is in you, that is true with me, I hate that I battle everyday not to stuff my face with anything and everything, like Pops used to say: "I am on the Seafood diet, I see food and I eat it" Even eating a healthy diet, I am hardwired to overeat, it is brutal, especially doing hard labor, you body say fuel me NOW. so [...]

BEWARE!! RANT Ok rocky start to my new project, no  problem, best to get the bullshit out of the way.  hired a gravel man, or at least that is the name of his business, he talks a great story, all lies, left me with a pile of dirt, and twice as much work to do. he was either stupid as a rock, or  as crooked as a winding stream. The Stoic in me says expect this from people, I dont like it, but it is true, if your expectations are to get what you paid for, well I did not pre pay him, I did pay him for the dirt I didn't need and for showing up twice, i did not want to, but maybe in his [...]

love love love, it is great to be loved, I am loved, our dogs all love me. I can not imagine life without these dogs, they are splendid,  i have spoiled them for sure.  Jt gets them pup cups almost everyday from Dutch brother coffee, I get a  reg cup with cream :) they make me  a better human,  they give you love looks all the time, so sure, it may be please give me a snack looks, but I am pretty sure at least 25 % are  love looks, looks of love, I read somewhere that they get as much good as we do in this pet human encounter.  I try to take each of them on a walk, well my version which is a rollerblade [...]

looking forward to Seattle and some cool rain or fantastic sunshine, it has both. My Eldest Son has a debut Album, not sure of the specifics, but it should be fun, going to see my uncle and my brother for sure too. Been Working on a new Garage build, things have changed, running into lots of problems with my new Business name 2Tribes, Arizona is a cowboy state and Indians are hated, Every project has run into problems that RSJ never had. so be it, fuck em. one example, I got a quote that was for lumber under my old name RSJ, it was good for 2 weeks, upon the name change, they upped the price, they actually tried to cheat me, the fat lady sitting at [...]

I got a text yesterday from one of baseball pals, his wife, had passed unexpectedly, I felt honored that he would even share a life experience with me, yet I had nothing to say, I was speechless, what does on say, nothing will ease the pain. I could only muster, "I am sorry"    Mary ann was one of our best fans, these were the fun days, young families coming out to watch their dad play baseball, wives and children. It was festive. I loved the banter with our fans,  Mary ann was no exception, she was a tough cookie, fun and engaging. I remember one game, she was in the stands behind the dugout, and a foul ball went straight up and back, and bounced off [...]

who's on first, no who's on second, hahah I did that in my college english class, we had to do a verbal something or another, anyway, me and my partner did the abbott and Costello skit, it was fun, and got some laughs, even for a couple rookies, that was my baseball weekend. we won our final game for 3rd place, I like baseball, but not as much anymore.  good to see some people, others, a social burden, maybe next year, maybe not, really dont like the way I feel afterward. some people just rub me the wrong way, and nothing gets my ire up more than poison amongst your own player, sometimes subtle, and other blatant, anyway, I will stay away from those monkey's in the [...]

its nice to win a game, I love to win, but losing not bad either, at least I am getting out in the fresh air. good to see people I have not seen for awhile, both teams were evenly matched, they had a good pitcher, we had a pretty good one too, eye got a nice hit to left field with an rbi, then hit 2 dribblers in the infield, and for an encore got hit by a pitch. played catcher for nine innings, feel pretty good, sometimes when you crouch that long, its hard to get up, I can hear my knees creaking, but not bad for almost 60, 50 was a nightmare, the year I got cancer, well soon after, must of had it then [...]

I got some good messages from my Ingram cousins. I just wish my dad was alive to know his family. there are still more to find on both my mom and dads family lines. I am finding that there are so many surprises and twist and turns. NPE can be devastating, Non Parent, meaning that the parent you thought was, was not. I grew up with families, on both sides, I always knew that my grandfathers were not biological, but not much more. I did accept them as my grandparents, as I had no other, it would have been great to meet Fred Monson, he died young, and Joseph Ingram, only learned of him recently, The Ingrams were entrenched in Kodiak to Bristol bay, brother and Charles [...]

so, when I said my great grandmother was mostly Russian, that was true, but in my Internet Travels I had found some things out, Have you ever heard about the baby seals, You know the clubbing of baby seals. My family was involved with that endovour, my Native half was imorted in to St George Island to club baby seals by the Russians, and my Russian ancestors were probally the ones involved in the operation. not a big bragging point, on the Native half, it was most likely that or death, or the Russians used to like to kidnap the women and children, that Is why I think there is a strong incidence of attacking a persons family in Native familes, not all but more often than [...]

So, we have this War, that looks to end not so good. Me see nothing good coming out of this for America or Ukraine, nothing, we will waste Millions, but as we seen if Afghanistan, we must have an unlimited supply, but since they are now  taxing not only all of us, down to the lowly taco bell worker, they have decided to tax the Mega rich Corporations too. it is inevitable that the Russians will take over Ukraine, that is a foregone conclusion, at least to all the United States "Experts" in essence, our money is going to prolong not only the War, but increase the amount of people killed, is that a fair assessment? This whole feel good give the poor Ukrainians food and weapons, [...]

I know, there is nothing more important than taking care of my body, my brain, my thoughts. I have been doing this intermittent fast for a long time now. I had been doing it back since the days of working as a carpenter in Anchorage, after I started my first Atkins regime, went from 235 to 185, I am now around 180. I still feel fat, not obese, and according to my new Renphro app, I am I need to be below 172.  I had gotten down to 165, but that was during my cancer treatment, you I think, most of my ills, are related to the cancer treatments, when I dont feel good, it feels just like when I was getting my infusions of cisplatin, the [...]

How does all this happen,  The russian Empire takes over its former subclad. Nuclear War hangs in the balance, this could be a tricky deal, here I am playing devils advocate, we seen this with the Nazis, first it was just poland, then more more more. do we do nothing, well we can not do nothing, but we must tread lightly, this is a ruler that has no problem, poisoning his enemies, his own countrymen. do you think he cares about russian troops, these leaders, all leaders, they are expendable, we have seen that in our country, Vietnam, Korea, and more recently Afghanistan. Did we give a rats ass about the Taliban taking over the Afghans? does the Ukraine leader care about his people, hell no, he [...]

I have been still trying to solve the mystery, where was grandpa Fred, before he was Named Monson? where was great Aunt Grace?  where was Karvel, I think I am getting closer, here are some clips I found at the National Archives