Well it has been cloud like for awhile now, not liking the whole world is ending scenario, but on a brighter side, my diet has been going as planned, I had to ditch the kumbachi, it had too many carbs and sugar, and a bout of diverticulitis, that I could not account for, well except a few days before, wolfing down some ribeye meat, I swallowed a rather large piece. might have contributed to my intestinal pouch becoming clogged and thus an infection. so I had to blame something, its an alky thing, blame, yes I know pervasive in society. so I feel great most of the time. down and stuck at about 180, but for sure much less body fat, still looking for the push to lose 20, perhaps 15, but 10 should be oki doki. My diet? you ask? well it is total mindset, the brain health course that I watched on restrictive calories, and my already success with the Keto diet, which has been an on off affair over the years, I have always know, if I want to lose weight, specifically fat, Keto was the go to eating plan and a Keto fast would break my bodies desire to hold on to fat. I first found the keto fast in the adkins book, it was about 1995 shortly after quitting the sauce, yes it is true, I am a quitter, best move ever, that and smoking cigs, terrible nasty habit, quit at 22, did not quit drinking for another 10 years, let see… yes that about right. I quit smoking cigarettes in 1984 after reading a children’s book at me mums house on “negative attention” It was an epiphany. So my inspiration on this new, life to death, eating lifestyle is my ancestors, my Alaskan Native and my Norse ancestors, especially the Vikings, how did they survive on these voyages? I wonder how they would react to a big mac attack? no seriously, think about it. they had to conserve and travel and survive. I do not think they were shooting for regular bowel movements, but survival, I do believe after my experiments, mostly self experiments, that when we are not meant to eat and be fat dumb and happy, no we are better off a little hungry, keeps the brain sharp, the body fluid. I went hunting in Kodiak a couple of years ago, on my mainly eating seeds and meat, I was active the whole time, yet after 5 days, only had to go, once, but I was eating just for fuel, and nuts, they pack lots of energy, plus some fresh halibut, no deer, but lots of fun times, with me number one son Richie rich. I always told him he is the advanced version or Richard. Now my thing is to imagine eating seal meat or fish that has been left to rot in some Native and Icelandic delicacies, they eating horned puffins, that would be pretty hungry, but I want to try, what if Natives went back to a traditional diet, you think we would have the same incidence of dementia and Alzheimer’s? I do doubt so very much, why do they not? I will tell you, we are brain washed, washed as if we are bleached rice, washed to whatever, oops, how to stay on point, no toxic, well I guess it is me. that is it. enuff sed. I have to run scenarios, through me brain and calculate and all that, it gives me solace in knowing I put in some thought, yet, I still speak without thinking. brighter note, you say? yes, on Saturday is my grandsons birthday, yes it is true wahooo. I have almost made it through all of them. I tried to be a little different on each one, I still wonder….. did they like it, or get a something they wanted more? I long for feedback, yet it is fleeting almost like I exist, but not really. Abel, he is the cutest interactive kid, he is a mirror of his father, hope he uses that brain for good 🙂 I am sure his mom will make sure of that, I often say, “now I will use my powers for good” I know I’m a goofy monkey. so when I was there meeting the new family, this Abel was a beacon, he shines everywhere. he was calling me Grandpa Richard, o my heart melted, and Seamus, just called me grandpa, so cool, I will never forget, never. I still have not followed through on my church, but eventually, I have been able to tackle some personal issues, and feel the best in years, free. I also was unaware that my existing family, was somewhat threatened by the “new family” My mind, says, you have new family, WE ARE FAMILY, but everyone is so protective of each other. It does not compute, does not compute, no it does not, but they and everybody has to work through things on their own, none of my hocus pocus is going to work on anyone, well maybe… :/ that face looks sad, but I mean it as perplexed. this whole “friend” thing sucks, but I know that I am blessed with them and my known family, I know I am greedy, I wish i could teach them to swim, go biking hiking and just do kid stuff. I think I will go look at some remote control cars today, maybe can send by Saturday then, off until October. that the first grandchild’s birthday, such a fine day, it was the day, unbeknownst to me, I became and Grandfather, well genetic, but still. I know it is more symbolic, but they are real, it not one of my many dreamed illusions. no they is real, the real McCoy. wow. I am pretty happy today, got the pool back up and running after it being empty for a couple months? not sure, time flies when you have a big hole in your backyard, now if I can only get my new family to come visit, maybe the year 2024 or 5 patience is a virtue, I do not have, O and my daughter and Jackson are buying a house, it is an existing time. hopefully I get some breaks or make some breaks to go visit, after the house perhaps or next project. it is all so confusing, but I know, one foot in front of the other and time will tell. Maybe I can watch kids church, they supposed to be in that, but not sure how o get on there, i tried once, but the date was wrong, that would be to watch. I wonder if Rebel will get a dog, they really enrich our lives, but the dog poop, well still worth it. this Rhaegar, is the cutest beast. The house is coming along, painting this week, grey with white trim, colors that POP snaple Pop, or is it snap, crackle POP? anyway life is good, I wish I could visit with more people, but life goes on…. long after the thrill of living is gone.. that is just another reminder, to not squander my time on worry, I will still worry, but with an optimistic tone my 31 years with sweet Mary are just getting better, sometime growth takes and makes Pain, but growth true growth. to get past our personal barriers. I just want her to be the happiest she can be, she takes care of me. I feel loved. we all need to feel loved, right? ok that is getting sappy enough. today fix diving board and paint rest of decks. to infinite and beyond.