Well I am tired for sure, just paid 4 grand to home depot, that is hard, but at least I can pay it, and have most of the lumber I need, I am probably making Alaska Apprentice wages at this point, like brother gilbert likes to say, working for peanuts.

well its all me own faults, I know this, I was pretty cocky, I could build a garage for that price, well, I can, but not much left over after paying the price butchers, just osb alone went from 13 bones to above 50, and they have no shortage of supply, Home depot is stocked to the brim. never seen so may tools and lumber, same with the tool houses, its all a fucken greed grab, just like gas and all the bullshit, the concrete companies are putting the screws in too, well they want 145 for a yard of concrete after taxes and adding upgrades almost 190 bones. they pouring thousands of yards for the large companies. the crash is coming, at least for us working folk, for the rich Oligarchs its just a time when they buy shit at rock bottom prices, while we dont have enough money to buy food or gas.

yes I have to bid better, well it would have been ok at another 10k, but if I sub contracted all the work, we are looking at another 30k, and all the endless bullshit that goes with that, anyway, glad I am doing it for another American worker,

Man I gained 6 lbs, going back and forth lately, gots to tone down the milk consumption. I like to say I am big boned, or its all muscle, but I can feel the useless stuff, only good for starving or not eating for a month, too weak mentally to start a fast, they are easier when no wolf at the door:)

So my Dear Precious is getting married, they are two peas in a pod. he is good for her, gets her out of her people mode, which is not bad, but we should never put our worth on anyone’s opinion, but our own.

This my friend is not an easy task, from the time we are babies, we work to manipulate our surrounding. babies do it  out of the gate, learned this from a course, all our cooing and smiling and all that stuff we do to the little ones is pointless, they are doing things to get us to act, so in retrospect, it is much better for us to realize, the best way to teach them is to react to thier  behaivor/ blah blah blah

yeah I gots nothing to say today.

you know what I think, do you care what eye think?  I do not really, its just my mind regurgitating, nothing I ever think means much.

I just like to voice my thoughts and opinions, like onions, I was thinking that trying to spell opinion

maybe I should take the dogs to the river or lake today, its my day off, hopefully get the concrete poured. I have an old friend from my first year playing baseball in phoenix, he has done lots of my jobs, he is the best that I have seen down here, there are some good ones, but most of them water down the mud, most of my concrete work in the past as a worker has been working a shovel, wheelbarrow and small finishing projects. but I know the right way its to be done. Water is a NO NO. I could have done it cheaper, but that entails risk, and to get the best you have to pay the rate.

I had made another mistake, the customer added 4′ not much you think, well with all this material hikes, it is key. so instead of 600 square ft at 6 square ft for a pour it is 720, so I am paying 500 over my bid for the pour, but no time to panic, at least I will be able to pay next months rent, and I did get a Native check, thanks to Mom sharing some stocks.

I woke up last night thinking about the native scam.  how they ripped us off out of thousands of Acres, because we did not have enough people living in our village at the time of the “fuck the Alaska Native AcT”  they did the same thing with lesnoi, using Omar Stratman as the Government tool, Lesnoi only recently won over the American Oligarch, Our small village the size of Eklutna did not have the wherewithal to fight it, I only know because my father told me,  we were relegated to  a paltry 750 acres.  this is all funny, because as they are giving us the land claims Act, they are driving us off our lands to do jobs as “Free Americans” They are assimilating us into paying rents, working for wages and put into the work machine, double edged sword, I know there are lawyers sitting back still having a chuckle. It makes me sick when I see the ANSCA site and the local Kodiak Museum, all ran by white overseers, bragging on how we are being bred out of existence, just like the hillbilly when I was helping to build the native hospital.  You know it takes several generation to breed that shit out of you?  he was as big and dumb as could be, I was too ignorant to be offended, but it stuck with me.  assimilation, we have been assimilated.  So now we have 750 acres of traditional village land for 200 hundred people, none of which can afford to live on or hunt on the land. nothing native about our village, we have been forced to pay taxes on Native land. Eklutna, the largest landowner in Anchorage, the same size prospers, we have been screwed from the get go. Kodiak has been heavy on assimilation. they are even called white people and they act like it too, there is not tribal, its all Corporate incompetence. yes I have been assimilated.

when I listen to tapes of my grandmother and great grandmother from Kodiak, they tell of the good days living on woody island, wish they could go back, most will never know  living off grid.  hunting fishing. choked out.  they wonder why Natives drink, they live in a world of suppression, under the thumb of the lawyers and governments. I have heard white people over the years, hell here is your land get your own way. forces assimilation, now it is all we know, I know better. I have slaved my whole life for nothing. there is no peace. I guess I am supposed to be grateful that they let me work and pay their big corporation’s. THE RICHEST NATION ON EARTH CAN NOT PROVIDE FOR ITS INDIGENOUS SUBJECT, BUT CAN SPEND BILLIONS ON WHITE PEOPLE IN UKRAINE, under the guise of stopping the Russian onslaught, wtf, listen to them speak, they are all russians, that whole area has been fighting forever. sure putin is another trump, feeding his Oligarchs, where was the outrage when it was syran brown people, that barely made the news.

The last couple of years have been a conditioning of the American people and the world, for what? I have no Idea, War? famine? my concrete friend says dont watch the news, I cant help it, I know the punch is coming.  We are all supposed to be grateful.

The day they start sharing all financial information that these politicians get, and true transparency, who gives them money.

THEY WERE INVESTING IN WEAPONS DAYS BEFORE THE RUSSIAN WAR STARTED, WE ARE NOT GIVING THEM FREE WEAPONS, but Biden wants to ban guns, how about ban giving billions of dollars to other countries, at least until you get your own refuge problem under control, the homeless problem in America.

I have not been sleeping well, perhaps too many calories

last week my granny and gramps were in my dream, they were just watching me is all i could remember, it was nice, it is funny, I think my dad was in too, but it I dont put it into some context, its lost. for some reason I had this Alex Cleghorn in my dream, I had been reading some cultural center board thingy, anyway I think we may be related through my moms Cleghorn side, the key between the Ingrams and the Native connection, he has done well for himself.

well that is enough wine for one day.