Yeah, every time I get sick, this time was not different, the first thing I think is the Cancer is back!!  it was kind of a nightmare again,  you know stuck between trying to save money, although I have good insurance, through sweet Mary’s work at the Government, the deductible adds up fast.  they waste no time billing, so I try to go to the Indian hospitals and clinics, they still charge the insurance, but no deductible, the problem is, they only give you third world care, well maybe 2nd world care, at least here in Arizona, if you an Alaskan Native. The problem, the doctor talked me into going to see a heart specialist in another hospital, I had said no, but she insisted,  I feel stupid now, like I was duped, they  have already sent me a bill for 1200 for the 5 min ride to the other hospital, where I sat for another 12 hours before seeing the “heart specialist, who stuck a stethoscope on my chest and then discharged me. I have to be honest after a few hours hooked up and feeling much better and duped, I asked everyone  that came into my room, when I can leave, and even told the case manager that I feel like just leaving and I am not staying another night in here.

The doctor at the Indian hospital should have never sent me here,  if they were just going to warehouse me until a doctor showed up, it would have been better just to make an appointment. so not only this, the Indian health service sends me a letter from the hospital president that says they refuse to pay for my care, as I am not a local tribal member and no ties to the community, well my son Richard was born in this hospital, I have lived in Arizona for over 17 years, I even went to their stupid Turquoise ball in the hopes of drumming up some work. The whole thing seemed like a scam, they have done this before, they call me up and say, you are not eligible for care, or you dont need a doctor, the list goes on an on.  why I can not learn my lesson?  somehow going to an IHS hospital makes me feel indigenous, I mean, really the only thing I have, my people have been assimilated, we are all business people not really Natives. We value the high and mighty dollar over all things, but I do see some very promising signs with regards to tribes and tribal stuff, somehow between business and culture their needs to be change. back to my rant, so this doctor, who was Asian by the way, and probably resentful of Indian and Native rights, probably thought it was a good idea to send me to a full price hospital to somehow teach me a lesson, or my darker thoughts, she is somehow getting kickbacks from the ambulance company, which seemed slightly inept,  or maybe from the other hospital, to help pump up the coffers, maybe as a career option in the future. The funny thing is that within 2 days of  being released I was contacted by an Asian collections agency for some health care, they wanted to record me, how do i know? because I could not understand what she was saying. I hung up. this really seems like a scam now. I dont know why, but these stupid rants make me feel better, but really? they have no effect, I know the battle is yet to come to deal with the Indians, I have been down there before trying to get care, more wasted time. You think I was smarter than that, right?  nope, they will not deny me my Indian-ness, which is the part where we have been second class citizens for as long as America has been in existence. for the Greatest Nation on earth, you think they could take care of their indigenous people? they just recently started to take care of their Veterans, which include, many many Alaskan Natives, all Wars, they prefer that I deny my Native life, and that my freind is why I do not, pig headed, stubborn,  yes and stupid, you see, it has done me no good in business, not a penny in jobs, no grants loans, no help whatsoever, and I am ok with that, I work for a living, I would just like to be proud of being Native, and the only thing, besides these “Corporate Native entities” we have nothing but IHS to tie us all tog either, but just like the land claims was meant to feed the lawyers, and rape the land, the health service is made to divide the Native populations.

so why was i ranting, well I feel much better, got some zing back in, been working out, but in the back of my throat on  my cancer side, I have a white patch, hoping it was just part of covid, I am a worry wart when it comes to my health, but I also know, when my time comes, it is time.  feels like an open would might just be where the Covid got in, but like all the other times, I can not help wondering is this it? the beginning of the end?  I have a pretty optimistic approach most of the time, but it creeps in, and I would hate to ignore something, and then, sorry richard, it is too late, the cancer has progressed too far, your a dead man, but we can feed you poison to keep you alive longer and charge you lots of money to do it. o fuck the horror. now you know the rest of the story.

there is good news, I have a permit and a contract,  which is good news, but will take all my skills  to make money and make sure I deliver, that is key, make money deliver above and beyond, get it done, right.  not too many things to watch, but planning is key on all construction projects, that and hard work, lots of  labor and we are in the Weather, yahoo, quite a drive, but at least on in Peoria or Wickenburg, or desert sky Mall, to farthest projects so far. ok, well I have to get some work done. the Tempe nightmare continues, red tape nightmare. the shirts never get dirty, but they like to justify their paper pushing existence