July 2021

good days bad days bring it on, dont you know your a shooting Star

2021-07-19T09:28:10-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

dont you know? I hope we all feel special, like a shooting star, Music, so good to feed the soul, that is from one of my favorite bands, perhaps would be #1 except mostly just really like the BAD Company Run with the Pack album, I even made a leather belt with BAd Company Imprinted on it at Diamond High school, my first experience with the Cold life of Alaska, I remember we used to "hooky bob" grab on the back of the bus and have it drag us down the road, me and gilbert were living with my dad on Arctic Blvd in a 2 bedroom apartment, it was the adventure of a lifetime, little did I know it at the time, I had a best [...]

The Real World Virus, in my minds eye

2021-07-16T13:31:37-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

the battle continues, the battle of the bulge, finally getting the drafting done, just have to dot some I's and cross some T's, but I had been thinking lately about us humans and the Earth we all share with many creatures, as I was running over and killing ants with my roller blades, I was thinking how it all began for me, watching Star Wars with Luke, Darth Vader and Obi Wan, The force, life force, that was a dominating part of the script, is alive in me, We are like one life force, if you add every creature on this Earth, and think of them as One, as a life force, The fact the we have all kinds of bugs crawling all over us at any [...]

eat this not that, I am on a slide… slip sliding away

2021-07-13T07:44:15-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Ok, been slacking in my new lifestyle diet, I am blaming this computer work and the stress of dealing with a Nonsense, bullshit city, this job is not as complicated as their expensive degrees cost, the more I think about it, especially after driving through the Mega Campus, they call ASU, the money spent on their Palace of stone, could be put to use building Online schools for all people. The Age of control through limited education is coming to an end. The sooner the better. Ok that is enough, I feel a little better, but have to get back to cracking, so far there have been quite a few bids, but not many hits, usually if they dont hire me, it does not get done, I [...]

Rain rain go away, come back some other day.. riding a low slow

2021-07-13T07:13:34-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Well time to VENT, and not the kind in the car that keep you cool, More like the kind that show my teeth, The more I think about this Tempe project, the more I want out, it has become a lot of bullshit nonsense, They tell me, well we do the Underground for " Big companies and Jobs" which to me, means they could give a rats ass about regular people, I think I should have just suggested this job be done without, the Tempe bureaucratic procedures, could have done the whole job as an interior remodel, I know not too stoic, "the way things are" I just hate being a pawn in all this bullshit, Phoenix and Mesa, have progressive inspected projects, Tempe, the College city [...]

Saturday o Saturday, stuck at home working work work work, pay the man

2021-07-10T11:27:57-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Well looks like there was some confusion on my part, at least that's the story, but good for me, they not requiring a bunch of nonsense drawings, bad news, they are holding me to a higher standard, like I am a drafter, well I do draft, but the difference? I build too. that is cool, more knowledge, I usually just try to slap these drawings together, without a billion code reference and all the expensive bullshit, but looks like I am going to have to add some of the same bs, that I do not like. blah blah blah I wonder if these videos even work, I got a new lens, it is wide, cheap as these usually cost a couple grand for good ones, [...]

Dark side of the Moon

2021-07-07T11:33:54-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

This whole stoic spok mentality is pretty enlightening, but also has lots of holes in the theory, so your not responding to the one thing everyone always says, listen to your gut, well, I know that is bullshit, I have more than a dozen times, felt like a winner, in my gut and bought a losing lottery ticket, I only buy them when I am feeling luck, or when it gets so large, you can use your imagination to all the fun stuff your going to do with the loot, that in itself is worth the ten bones. what about the dark side of this storyline, say for instance, your thoughts are right, your spouse is cheating and your thinking everything is hunky dory? I am sure [...]

Smokey the Bear says, “only you can prevent forest fires” it is all about US, well ME, um yes only you….

2021-07-06T08:22:40-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

OK, so I been watching Mindfulness courses again, This latest one was really good, I know it to be true, I had to look deep in into my eye. This is so Important: People react and act towards us, not because of US, but themselves, this can be so confusing. We really have to soak this up, Our thoughts, their thoughts, it is never about anything but is inside each and everyone of us. I have seen these things, that say, we most dislike in others, which is in us. It is so true, yet so hard to swallow, like me trying to swallow bread, gets stuck in the gaping hole in my throat the surgeon cut out, anyway this is a fact in my psyche, I [...]

Stoic Christian? or Pagan?

2021-07-04T09:51:19-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

As I have said before, I chose the Christian religion, or more accurately it chose me, I was born into the system of Christianity, I was baptised Russian Orthodox, and was an alter boy at an Episcopal Church, that is how I become a christian, I continued the path, mostly as a safety net, my biggest one when I asked God to give me the power to stop drinking, I have forever been grateful that he did, and now that I have been on the path to self enlightenment, my faith has grown stronger, this Stoic philosophy is excellent, but with God to ask for guidance and help, it is worthless to me. As a static hunk of muscle and bone, and perhaps some jelly brain, the [...]

Happy 4th of July, American Independence from the British

2021-07-04T09:34:54-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I have to say that I am grateful to be born in the Greatest on Earth, how do I know, well I dont, but my time on earth and my monetary limitations, I will just have to be content with, I live a free Country with free speech, freedom of Religion, and equal but often not fair protection under the laws of our Country, that being said, I am also a Native American, that has lost his cultural identity, It was beaten, brainwashed and bred out of my family. What did they do to compensate? well first lets look at some facts, We are one of, if not the Richest Nation on this planet, just look around everybody with all these gadgets, cars, fancy clothes, and nobody [...]

This Means WAR, :) ok not war, but getting screwed by the Man, Tempe Building safety, perhaps the Cowboys too

2021-07-03T12:07:21-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Ok, had to go incognito, the powers that be in Tempe, have rules that are asinine, a minor modification needs a full set of plans, not just on the work your doing, but the whole property, WTF, I know where this comes from, it is a way to get some money for all those expensive DEGREES, that the University cashes in on, I wonder how much an Architect degree is at ASU, the whole thing from bachelor to degree? 500 grand? unless your the child of a rich person, famous person, or an athlete? then you just pay a small fee and it is mailed to you. So, I figured out why they are letting all the illegals in, so they can have someone trim their trees, [...]

all over the place

2021-07-01T09:19:06-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

that post was all over the fucken place :) wtf, ok, I need to knuckle down get some shit done. I just am getting frustrated at spinning my wheels on the same old bullshit, the wheels go round and round O let me tell you a story, my dog, ran after a coyote, I had to chase him, I got worried, he would get lost, found him, another one of my bonehead moves. this computer work is making me fat, I like thinking but, sitting at this computer is harder than digging, really it is. you know I been feeling sick, when I go out in public, walking around amongst the people, but when I am working, digging, Hiking pushing myself, I FEEL FINE, I am getting [...]

journal block? what to write, let see what happens N8T 4 life

2021-07-01T08:31:04-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

So growing older and obsolete, is that my future? unless I decide to run for president, looks like Joe joe biden is doing fine and dandy, still not sure he is not suffering from some form of dementia, I guess that is better than the Donalds Egotism, that brings up an interest thing about me, One of my defects of character, In AA you ask for God to remove your defects of character, lying, cheating, anger, apathy, and any other defect, that is causing you grief, the problem is, We have no Idea about our defects, I know that on a first name basis, I am still learning my defects, EGO, that is one of mine, it was fostered or festered over time, now this is where [...]

June 2021

do this, do that, follow the leader skip ta ma loo me darling

2021-06-30T08:07:05-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I think it is impossible to not be influenced by outside sources, Unless your one of those Monks, you know the ones, they sit in their peace pipe smoking position and pray, then sure, no problemo, but for all of us schmucks that have a need for food and shelter? no way Jose, that is not going to happen, they key is who do you let influence you? your daddy? your mommy? you holy man priest? you squeeze, your best friend, Donald Trump? Joe Joe Biden? the Democratic party? the republican party? the Bible? the quran? your Native Corporation? as you see the list goes on and on, we are unidated with outside stimuli. I am not immune to this outside stimuli, in fact, I rather relish [...]

change is life, there is nothing else but change

2021-06-25T08:24:47-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

this is profound, this is real, more real than anything else we know, I know  in the past, I have at times welcomed change, and at other times hated change, but it is the one constant that we can be sure of, not death and taxes, sure death is a a part of change, but change encompases everything, everywhere all the time, the one thing we must be is malleable, we must embrace change, for to ignore or resist change is to cause stress, we grow old, we change, the leaders change, our relationships change, the weather changes, the simple act of accepting change in all things, can be a simple life enhancer. I resist most times, I need to modify my thinking to be more accepting [...]

The land of cousins has disappeared, gone like the Wind

2021-06-25T08:14:16-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I feel like i have lost most of our family, lost forever, how can that be, When we were young, we did not have much, but we did have family, lots of cousins, I like to blame the Native claims act, but it is more than that, it is deeper. this will be a remembrance of things lost to my younger generation, I feel need to vent, yet I will try to be like joe friday, the names have been changed to protect the innocent, after all we are all innocent, at least we have no choice in most things that happened or our station, we are the product of our experiences, often external, almost always not of our doing. let me first start with my fathers [...]

working my fingers to the bone

2021-06-25T05:26:36-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Well, still having a time getting out of the hole, lots of jobs to bid on, but a lot a potential land mines, currently working on a project, the owner left town, does not respond to email. cant make up his mind, wants to save an archaic system, easiest for me, but why build a nice home and use junk, I cant continue until he makes a decision, I think this is starting to look like a setup, my stoic thinking is how to proceed and be virtuous? he seems nice and honest, how to get going, will have to send another email, I can still make this a nice home, yet too easy to get caught up in petty thinking, so far I am breaking even [...]

My religious epiphany I know what the rapture is… I think, therefore I am

2021-06-25T05:13:44-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I have been doing lots of hard labor recently, mind numbing labor, that will drive you crazy, unless you have some good listening, well I did, I was listening to a college class on the 4 greatest religious humans that ever existed, or they think may have existed, these 4 were Muhammad, Jesus, confusion and Buddha, not sue if I spelled them wrong, but they not showing up red, so that is that,  this scholar or phd teacher was explaining all the things that were known, and some that were perhaps mythical, I know some will say, that I am a heathen, just for having an open mind, but I sitll follow the jesus man, and his really name was not even jesus, it was imut, or [...]

adversity breeds strength

2021-06-19T11:05:42-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

That is one thing  I have heard, personally I would rather get strength from less stressful ways, it should aslo say, that it may bring strength, but it also kills: it kills in the way of stress, stress kills, that is a given, what is stress?  we all know what it is, our minds race with thoughts, our stomach churns, we drink, eat our way out of it; only to have it return again, and again, what is our only recourse to a stressful life? there is many ways, you can drink it away, eat it away, sex it away, but it will always return: the only way to beat it is with mindset, your own mindset, this has to be an internal mental control, not will [...]

We are all going to DIE!!! eventually….

2021-06-14T18:28:54-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Working today in the Arizona heat, finishing up demo of the ducts and walls, took a big load to the dump, truck worked like a beast, the hottest it got was on the way home 206 it say 117 on the freeway, where it is really hot, that worked well sounds good, now I just gots to git her smogged, or him? do we call our rigs by girl or boy?  like a boat a girl I would guess, hey I wonder if that is sexist? maybe someday I will learn that too :)  do not see too many boats named in the male gender, but who knows I was getting baked, but it was mostly shade. but whilst I was doing my brain dead work, I [...]

I need a gag order on myself

2021-06-13T12:03:13-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I have come to the conclusion that I talk too much, yeah well I do love to banter on incessantly, it is true, maybe even just to hear my own voice, afterall I have a lot to say, or at least I think so, but with a newfound mindset, of I know nothing, why I need to give my opinion on everything that i have an opinion on, is beyond me, it is a sickness of mine, I think this stems from perhaps my insecurities of being a dummy.  WE, or I let my insecurities rue my actions. The saying that we hate the things in others, that we hate in ourselves is so true, but all this is based off of the monkey wrench of a [...]

stuck still at -180

2021-06-13T11:20:03-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

well its not so bad, under 180, when my highest was 235, but still aspiring to reach the goal of 160, perhaps I will get some deadly cancer and then I will win. oh well, the last fast, well it did not get any results, I was really not hungry, but lost no weight. I have hit a brick wall, still want some abs, to the fight goes on, but first must keep the wolves away:) my little speck of a human participle is still trying to find some meaning in this life, perhaps, it is only that I am a piece of the species, we call man. I know my purpose is to survive and thrive, to be a happy human, that I can do, but [...]

I was a doctor today, well a mechanic, but I treated my truck like a doctor

2021-06-06T18:20:59-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

yes, worked on my truck today, before leaving to Denver my serpentine belt broke, so I bought a new one, and lucky for me, the old one was under warranty, but like doctors and today's medicine, I treated the symptoms, and not the cause, turns out my power steering pump was seized, causing my belt to shear.  Well have to work tomorrow and order a new Power steering pump and idler pulley off of amazon, hopefully I will be back in business soon, had some delicious ribs and salad for dinner, that's all folks  

grateful for all you humans, even the ones who dislike me :)

2021-06-06T10:22:33-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I have come to this realization, in the last few years, embracing my life, and everyone that I have ever known, they are all a part of me, even the ones that I never got to know, the ones that wronged me, and the ones I have wronged, yes I am no angel, but this is a grateful tribute to all I have know, we are all on this spaceship we call Earth. I love all my memories, the good the bad and the ugly, they are the sum of who I am, So many experiences so many people, I love to stop and ponder the past, I know i have had some bad adventures, but they pass, just as easy as the good ones. [...]

another young soul gone..

2021-06-06T09:55:09-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

well, looks like tragedy and life have met again in my world, My cousin John son Devin has passed away at a young age, such a sad thing to lose a child at a young age. I can not help but wondering how why and what we could have done to save him, although I have no idea how he passed, and none of that matters now, he has  came and gone, just as we all shall pass in time. We exist then we cease to exist, at least in the realm of the know on this earth.  Word: it seems maybe cold to even talk in such a manner, but it is the naked truth. death becomes us all.  We are all going to die on [...]

May 2021

day six, pick up sticks

2021-05-25T11:41:31-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Ok the fast, has turned into a nighttime intermittent fast, I have been unable or unwilling to make it through the night without eating something, last night it was and avacado, some sardines, macadamia nuts  and some guzzles of almond milk, I was so tempted to have a butter sandwich, but was able to avoid the bread and butter trap, woke up with a headache, but that is normal for me anymore, its more of a dull ache in my hippocampus, I think it has to do with my pituitary, but have no clue, and doctorless, clueless at this time, but I fee pretty healthy besides that, I know probably the next  thing, I will be diagnosed with brain cancer and a month to live, what then, [...]

Stoic this Mfkr

2021-05-25T11:15:43-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I know the stoic way is kinda to turn the other cheek, kinda, but you know what? well I am not leader, King,  or an Emperor like Marcus Aurelius, so being able to abide by the whole Stoic way of thinking is our of reach for most of us, I mean, you go into things, and just say, oh  well I must try to educate people, good luck with that, I cant even convince my dog to come. I really like the whole Stoic thing, but really unless, your already well off, or at least have all your ducks in order, good luck with that.  life is not fair, I know, I am a one eyed purple people eater, cancer survivor and currently suffering from thyroid issues, [...]

Killing with food, doctor twinkie and the gang

2021-05-25T10:09:23-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Well, went up to visit my brother Gilbert at his new digs in Scottsdale. it had been over a year since I had seen him in person.  I was told that I would need a vaccination card, and they already had me sign some paper to move him, which stated, he could  leave anytime he wanted as long as he was back by 11pm or he would be charged a room hold fee, not sure what that was all about. I show up at the place, nobody answer the door, one of the residents waves me in, I ask for Gilbert, I find him as usual in a dark room slumped over, doing nothing. I had told him I would take him to the bank and then [...]

Day 5 still alive had a slip

2021-05-23T09:20:24-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Well  last night had a  slip, ate an avocado, 4 slices of dave's bread/with butter and some grapes, but  I feel fine, no remorse, hiked up a mountain yesterday, well not a big mountain but a nice workout, still lifting, still stuck at between 175 and 180, actually feel pretty good at this weight, but still have a small kangaroo pouch, it is pesky for sure, that belly fat is poisonous to men, at least that is the consensus, lifting today, thinking about switching to a fat fast, oh yeah had a small handful of macadamia too, they are par tof the fat fast, I first learned of it from the Atkins diet, many moons ago, works great, not much hunger, need to get some sardines, I [...]

day 4 tough night time, more watermelon

2021-05-20T07:15:09-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

day 4  and still going strong, have not hit the ketosis yet, at least not full blown, not sure, but may have to jumpstart it with some intense cardio, perhaps some laps at the pool, I do sprints in the pool then hit the heavy bag, have you seen them big black rubber balls, they about 5 ft in diameter, fun to hit, but really gets my heart pumping. watermelon to the rescue, just a small piece, but was able to get back to sleep. thats it time for work

the little fisherman that could

2021-05-19T09:46:27-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

WIN_20210519_09_21_54_Pro my latest attempt at video funny to self :) I was always proud to be a fisherman, I never even thought of the many generation of fisherman that we came from, I love the Sea, it is my one place in all the world, I do love it best as a land lubber, but them boats, they are such fine nuggets in my mind. I recently saw a cousin looking for a skiff man, I was a skiff man, that is what I mostly did on seiners, but did them all, love the salmon fishing, you get to at least stay near land, love to see the landscapes, the rain, the other boats, the sealife, greatest feeling ever. Me and my son Richard few out to [...]

love love the birds

2021-05-19T08:54:08-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

the birdies, what a wonder, we get small ones, big ones, they are so full of life, so funny to watch, they bully each other, but are so fun to watch, the kitties think so too, we had a pigeon today, they really are a pretty bird, compared to say a dove, but not as cool as the quail birds, with their floppy thingy on top their head:) yesterday I saw a turkey vulture fly over, I was waiting for him to circle, but he just kept on flying south, they are a giant bird, sometimes you can see them eating road kill, they big as any eagle, but have small heads, such a sight. I would like to get a close up, but need to get [...]

day 3 of fast, midnight watermelon

2021-05-19T08:33:48-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

day 3 of my fast, woke up in the middle of the night and had a nice slice of watermelon, it was taste, shared it with rhaegar, I did reprimand myself for cheating so early in a fast, but I did load up on on supplements, and my coffee with melted 100% chocolate, and a splash of half n half. So far not hungry, or even tired,  one thing I did get this time was DR Bergs electrolytes, which have a good record and good reviews. still feeling a little blah about people in general, hopefully I can get some love for humanity back into my brain. Reading  has been a good mindset helper, and I know I have been on a good keel for most of [...]

the past speaks to us, we are deaf

2021-05-18T16:09:44-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

As I watch these birds wondering what kind of lives they have, I wonder why there are not fat birds, too fat to fly? do they know not to overeat? they seem pretty, are we happier, because, we know there lifespans are limited to a few years at best?    does that make us superior, I wonder, o I know there is more to life than laying eggs and then dying, or is there, we are the chosen ones, we think at least until we blow up the planet :/   hahahah had to quip a little. So I have been working on this being a good person, well at least not letting me be affected by others, or is it effected, or both :) This principle is [...]

slip sliding away, perspective is everything, and nothing

2021-05-13T10:19:36-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

living just for dying, dying just for you, that is a black sabbath song, kind of dark, but I never really listened to the lyrics, if is sounded good, I liked it, now.. well it is hard to like and sing Sabbath bloody sabbath, really, that sounds bad, bloody sabbath, dumb kids, will sing anything, well that was as hard as my rock n roll tastes every reached, that quite riot, maybe some alice cooper, but for  me good old southern rock, Lynnard skinard, hhahah , i know bad spelling. Creedence, and I love love Johnny Cash, the man in black. my all time favorite band is the Eagles, growing up it was Bad Company, still like them, but they have limited hits, only like one of [...]

I wonder about free will for our children’s children…..

2021-05-11T10:46:33-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

What should be the most important thing taught? I am not sure, I used to think that it was to believe in God, and still do for me, but I think even more important, is to know that we are all in a mixer of sorts, we do not have  a choice, we are born to parents and situations, we have not control over. watching these crime shows on tv, and the lack of any real life, some people are born in to is depressing, they wonder why we have so much crime, the lack of oversight on the worlds children, we have come a long way, but there is still work to do. Most times the best we can do is to break a cycle, of [...]

judgmental me, never be free free free

2021-05-11T10:30:41-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

well, I  saw this video on Facebook , it says you must see this video, a sucker for  a good line, I pulled up the YouTube video, after watching it, I felt like just jumping off a cliff, so depressing, the whole point was long on this small brain, the video had some person in a very monotone, almost emotionless speaker selling the atheist view, he could not sell  snow cones in the dessert, he kept saying over and over, "when you dead your dead" nothing happens, his point was to live now, but that was a piss poor outlook, Know, I am sorry, as to be judgmental on faith based issues, has been one of my pet peeves, even for Jesus people, that say your going [...]

life goes on, long after the thrill is gone

2021-05-04T19:14:24-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Well, I had a setback, been eating some butter sandwiches, they are delicious, I did use healthy bread, but ate  few too many, setback are part of the whole trying to get healthy body and mind journey for me.  I am sure there are some people that just hop right in on these things and are one and done, i have a lifetime of bad habits, and demons to battle, right up my alley, but it is a quest, and still in the back of my mind, I say is it all worth it? I see how people just say, ok, I'm out, of the rat race, the relations roller coaster and just say fuck it. I really try to have fun in life, that has been [...]

waste of time

2021-05-03T12:27:19-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

waste of time applying for a Native allotment, the land is useless, unless you have a boat or float plane, useless, like usual the government makes sure only useless land iis given to Natives no sense in wasting any more time, as the stotics say, you have to deal with life as it is, not as it should be, or you want it to be  

life is for the birds

2021-05-02T10:11:47-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I really enjoy watching birds, all birds even the plain ugly ones, I know my dad also liked the birds, he would always name the ducks, it is funny in a kida hypocritical way, in which we can admire these things and on next moment be eating them for dinner. We have this bird feeder and liked it so much, we went out and got a bird bath for them too, We are bird Central. I often wonder about eh lives of birds and other animals, are they happy, do they even consider if they are happy, is that our problem, thinking too much? those damn birds in my front yard, seem pretty damn happy, or watching the hawk high up in the sky, gliding along, like [...]

death becomes us all, dust to dust, all we are is dust in the wind

2021-05-01T08:08:27-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

dying and death has always been on my mind, many times, could have died, like the time, I looked up and was going 80 miles per hour and 20 ft in front of me was the flat bed of a semi, It would have killed me and perhaps decapitated me, had I not looked up, I was able to swerve to  the shoulder lane, just one example of my potential demise.  I have too many to list, like the many times, drinking, never to wakeup, I often wonder if I want to die without experiencing my death, like bleeding out, or dying slowly from cancer or more accurately the drugs, trying to extend life or cure the cancer, those last moment, last breath, just another one of [...]

April 2021


2021-04-30T09:39:46-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

MY stoic course is coming along, the latest greatest is quite a revelation, actually in line with my current thinking, but at a much higher level, it boils down to expecting people to be bad, yes expect bad drivers, mean, nasty people, to expect anything else, is well, ignorant, that has been my opinion, along the lines of everybody has a different upbringing, or circumstance, that is inline with christian thinking in the turn the other cheek, love thy neighbor mentality, but at a higher level, more precise.  The Sotic philosophy involves living according to nature, that means, being a good person to nature, and that further means, To be good to nature is to be good to our nature, which is, that we are a social [...]

Death of a Legend our Oscar :(

2021-04-29T14:21:34-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Life and death is an inevitable fact of this great thing we have been blessed with called life, somehow we must come to some kind of acceptance, that life is not fair, at least for some, and it is never easy, especially when it comes as a a surprise of or too soon,  We have had many pets, and my heart aches for all of them, I remember we had this pup, I named her Sally, we were living in Gilbert Arizona, she was a pretty lab pup, she died in my Arms, I felt powerless as she passed, much too soon, my eyes welled up, and short of wailing, I was heartbroken, we had anther Dog, Arnold, a german shepard, he too passed as a pup, [...]

looks like jobs are picking up, about time, well at least have a couple small gigs,

2021-04-27T04:23:38-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I think I have gotten lazy, not working, I know I need to get out and hustle, I did the bathroom, and that was torture, working in our Own house, and me not liking tile, or many of the things that i did, but it is done, well mostly. what a great shower, and actually turned out pretty nice for a rookie, yeah, still some cosmetic things and still have to run some conduit up the wall from the electric panel, perhaps next week, on a cool day, the attic get baking, looking forward to some trips, we going to North Dakota, Denver and maybe even the Seattle area, We were going to a CAl weekend, but might put that on a shelf, I really want to [...]

poison in, poison out

2021-04-27T04:15:27-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

So, I had set my post to private, but after a good sleep, decided it is better or left on, my reason, it makes me angry to be portrayed as some lecherous internet troll. Yes, I can not control what people think. I have not always chosen forgiveness over confrontation, yet it is the only path for my sanity and well being. The Evil will eventually die, Evil is as evil does. The trick, to defend myself without naming names, yes I know the sources of this slander, those who perpetuate, often under the cloak of an angels wings, it would do me no good will, to join in the same game. I am still a father, and it is far better to be that of a [...]

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