April 2021

welcome to my new host: dream host

2021-04-20T08:09:22-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

That leads me into my first story, dreaming, what are we dreaming of? I see dead people, well they alive in dream, but their time has passed, this week, Don Vinberg, I fished for him on the Dee Donna J, best fishing ever, best Capt. and crew, my dad was on the corks, Norman Kasheveroff and Mike Cash were in on Deck, I was the skiff monkey, with a prodigal son Randy, something or another, his dad was some big shot skipper, as I recall, The s0ns of the skippers, were often the elite fisherman, never longing to get on a highlander, but born into a solid fishing career, perhaps as some of my family, my brother Tollak, was born into the Carlough regime.  These fisherman had [...]

is it generational or or older people irrelevant?

2021-04-17T06:45:32-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Crazy old man, that is what I will be if I live to be a hundred, that is for sure, but at 58, and  spry and healthy, can it be the perception of me now? How far out can I be, for me, it is a question of, to be or not to be I am a baby boomer, We have generations of family alive right now, from the baby boomers  to the current generation of Gen Alpha, wow so many Generations, I thought my father was from the baby boomers, but before us there was the Silent Generation, maybe because they made the Natives, silent, not sure, it also incudes me mum, and well she not silent, but she does not know of lick of Native [...]

Its A Miracle Pill, or is it?

2021-04-15T11:18:39-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I grew up pretty much ingesting any drug or drink, that I could get my hands on, including PCP, crank, cocaine, and LSD, thankfully for me, I was too poor to be able to buy them on any regular basis, and except for beer, never got hooked, but  when I quit drinking, I learned that pills can help ease the  stresses and rigors of life, I actually used a pill when I successfully was able to quit the sauce, once and for all, this was prescribed by a doctor. It worked very good, although, I never actually drank, once I started taking it, it was not anti-abuse, as that may not have worked, and would  been more of a challenge, but this was my successful, to this [...]

fond memories of Kodiak, the Emerald Island

2021-04-14T09:25:44-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Kodiak, had become a kind of refuge over the years, the best of times, the worst of times, actually mostly the best of times, what adventures I have had on that magical island. from our first experiences of set netting in Uganik, with my parents to fishing solo with my pops, and another trip with my brother tollak on a submarine type craft, they called it a jitney, it was pretty much just a power skiff, with a shell, but this story Is more of the characters along the way. Ted Pestrikoff, lived in a small cabin our in Uganik, his home now owned by others, he rowed us home, when pops went to the cannery, that is a nice journey for an older gent, but he [...]

what eye am up to? 5’10 1/4″ still….

2021-04-14T07:53:54-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Well I got the jOhnson and johnson vaccine on 3.31.21 about 2 weeks ago, time flies when your having fun, looks like they recalled it, or paused it, I did notice, my smell had become blunted, yet I still smelled the dog, I have an acute olfactory sensory system, so it was a little discerning, but it is back. Most of  the effected by the blood clot deal are younger women, so not a big worry, be the shits, if I died from a vaccine to protect me from a perhaps benign virus, at least to me, perhaps, not sure. But all is well in my health world, as long as I eat little and exercise, my symptoms seem to be abated, perhaps, one day I will [...]

who can we trust, Trust In God

2021-04-08T06:38:42-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I have to admit, I trust nobody on this earth, I know that is dark and kinda sad, but true. I also know that I am perhaps a fool to share such a thing.  Maybe it is what I get, my penance for a life devoted to the pursuit of fun and happiness. My question to myself, what do I need to even trust anyone with? well that is the point, I really have nothing to need to trust anyone with.  My problem? self created for sure. my problem is that, I see people, I see them for what they are, for what we all are. We live in these shells, confined within these bodies, with so much external stimuli, it often overrides our sense of selves. [...]

The Obama files all over again :( hopefully this is temporary

2021-04-08T05:42:01-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Well, so far it is the same thing that happened when Obama was elected, the jobs I am bidding are mostly shysters,  I got one bid to paint a house, which ended up being a complete scam, they even sent a fraudulent down payment, another from a hillbilly who was trying to repair his patio, it was built wrong, and he wanted me to build it wrong again, "he could do it himself, but he wanted to have fun on the lakes" yea right, I told him, his design was flawed and I was not interested.  the list goes on and on. yesterday I get a call about some site work, they had no plan, he had some big ideas, told me I needed a d6, which [...]

My Anguish, my life, not to be liked, perhaps understood? perhaps self understanding, finding NEMO

2021-04-07T08:27:06-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

What makes me tick?  I wonder at times, well I know it is me ticker, but more than that, what drives me forward. Self Awareness can be a long journey, I mean looking back at times in  my life, what was driving me?  from an early age, the only real driver was self preservation, that was done by muting my feelings, the feelings around me with former favorite concoction Booze. I am not sure I could have survived without it. looking back it was my friend. Everytime I took that first drink, the world looked rosey, I was suddenly optimistic about life, even though I had no Idea, how the night would end. That one moment, I was normal. I loved going on drinking binges, after choking [...]

friends, what are they, here are mine…

2021-04-06T09:45:28-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

The first friend that I can ever remember was Steve Benson, we lived in Hawthorne California, we lived in a small bungalow type house, they lived in the same homes, I think, not sure maybe ask me mom. He has passed a few years ago, heart attack, before I ever got to see him, he lived on the west side of phoenix, I went to his funeral, it was sad, his brother and parents were already dead. I could have reached out better, in the old days, I would reach out to people, happy go lucky I was, my trust of humans has been forever lost. I could have brought him to meet my dad again, his dad and mine were drinking buds, I think. Steve Benson, [...]

Church a sanctuary a place of JOY

2021-04-06T06:25:58-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Joy to the World.  I am not sure if the last post had made the impression that I am anti-church or religion, to the contrary, there is something great about singing the praises of and celebrating faith, so much power in music.  The positive energy created when a group can sing and dance and worship, that is Awesome, maybe a few words, the fewer the better, Children and Dogs learn by positive affirmations, when you put self doubt in peoples minds, you create confusion.  Some people are born the way they are, or molded that way, to try and break the mold in an hour service is, well far fetched. The power of having God on your side, that one simple thought, can bring relief and joy.  [...]

Happy Easter today, or happy easter bunny day

2021-04-06T06:10:29-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Easter, I remember growing up and looking forward to easter, my mom would make Easter bread, we would have a special dinner, and when we were young we would get Easter baskets, and when my parents were still married we went to church. Easter, what is it?   is it bunny day, or it it the celebration of the rise of jesus ascending to heaven after being crucified? Admittingly, I am a minimalist Christian, and have been accused of being somewhat of a pagan, by other church going "christians" I have no answer for why we are here, not one, of my own accord, but I believe with all my heart that there is a God, that we are not just some primordial ooze, that popped out of [...]

maybe cancel the new york times,

2021-04-03T06:31:43-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

we had switched from the local repetitive rag to the more proven New York times, the problem, our  delivered paper is thrown under the car, on purpose. the same monkey that deliverd our other paper, thinks it is cute to throw the paper under the cars. but it is pesky, I try to say at least i'm staying limber :) and really how can you blame him, he does a child's job, and poorly,  just pesky, just thought of that since am going out to get it, have a great day happy easter bunny day. tomorrow or he has risen day, whatever floats your boat

Manufactured Rasizm, is alive and well

2021-04-03T06:27:58-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I have no idea what they are thinking. none zilch So there is the Dr hymen, he wrote a book the Pegan diet, it is actually decent, but it tries to copy shit hat is not good for you, you will never copy a real pancake forget it. learn to eat different. But that is not my rant. My rant is they had this black lady on about the racist food system, this is clear manufactured race h8t, perpetrated by others, Sure maybe they have some issues, but the whole problem has nothing to do with race, THIS IS GREED GREED GREED, any people who run around saying the "whites are racist" are delusional, stupid to the core. YOU are being mislead, everybody is being mislead. The [...]

got my shot, not at the title, but in the ARm J&J one shot deal

2021-04-03T06:00:44-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Ok, I got vaccinated, had been worried since this whole virus thingy came out,  Since the Cancer I do not know what my body is up to. I  tend to keep  away from people and do not like being that close to strangers as a general rule. I have given a few hugs, not to strangers. everyone has their personal space, mine is bigger than most, i like to keep at least sucker punch distance, LOL It is true, mater of fact, have not been sucker punched much over the years, because of that rule,  a couple of times in crowded bars, but  being drunk, my personal space was not working no, I was never the chest bumping idiots you see, or argueing at close range, dumb [...]

Mind expansion, my project… ME

2021-04-03T05:40:51-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I have undertaken two new learning adventures, the Guitar and photography, slowly but surely, learning 4 chords right now, my fingers are getting better at not dampening strings practice is the key, still working on the switching, it is funny how one min, I do great, the next time, cant seem to hold or switch, muscle memory, guitar was one of the things I had always said "I am no good at that"" well just like anything else I wanted to learn, I have not let peoples opinion of my lack of skills or natural talent to dissuade me from continuing, as in singing, I have always been told I cant sing, well I can learn to sing too, it just takes motivation and practice, I even [...]

Painting to pool today, well touch up

2021-04-03T05:27:28-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

going to eposy the pool, well last time I ran out of the good epoxy and had to buy some from leslies pool supply, which is runny and a different color white, so this time we bought some blue, for the water line and going to add some sand to the steps, and for the google earth deal, going to put a happy face, using the drains as eyes, and the diving board as the tongue, sweet mary's says painting the diving board pink not a good idea ;/

New game, childs play

2021-04-03T05:20:53-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I bought a new game, on the advice of me brother Elijah, and as usual he disappeared... anyway, it is not as  good as battlefield4 but it is different, more like an updated version of counterstrike from the old days, my first game was Quake, then QuakeII back then you had to create scripts to make  specific key bindings, now its all just clickety click, nice. This new game has more youngsters for sure. it runs ok on my PC, the biggest thing is that this plays on game consoles, which I do not have, and have not had one since we had an Activision game in the early 80's Anchorage. well we tried some nintendo deal, but that was a waste, I had always wante dto [...]

Not your kind of Native, I have relinquished my interest your NaTive culture

2021-04-02T06:37:29-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

So, it has been a long way, embracing my Native Ancestry, and on the same swoop, turning away from the Native  culture of today, which is not Native, but more in line of a governmental puppet system. that is not to say, that I will not accept any measly payments that they decide to sprinkle on the ground, or jobs or benefits, that may be of benefit, no that would be lame, but I have not interest in your dealing, and except for checking if the mail has a check in it,  eye see no reason to read your propaganda, just like the koniag letter they all go into the trash unread.  My thinking is now, to pass down the shares, even though my family has integrated [...]

Why I Question our Existence? why ask why?

2021-04-02T06:24:37-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Why ask why? I dont really know, but I have always wanted to learn more, not just something, or enough, I have always went overboard in my learning more, maybe it was a book my mom got me when I was younger,  it was how things work or something of that nature. But that was not the start of me questioning our culture or world, our existence, no that came with my cancer, I admit, I was just another drone, a meaningless cog in a world of cogs. There have always been hints, like the Marijuana issue, especially me being a drunken fool, consistently doing stupid shit, under the spell of booze. Nothing has gripped my life like the drink. smoke some pot, I turned into [...]

O Wendy what went wrong :(

2021-04-02T05:05:50-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Well another classmate has passed away, she looked so vibrant and healthy, she was one of the few I like to check up on, I had seen she was having some issues, but she looked fine. She was very popular back in the high school days, she was one of the coveted Sand Canyon Girls. this is a road south of town, which has lots of acreage homes, horse properties if you will, She was a beauty, inside and out. she had a love for her family and her pets. so unfair. I always feel bad that I did not reach out and say hi, but life is complicated, I knew here in my sophomore year at Canyon High, her besty or one of them was Holly [...]

March 2021

We are a Cancer on the Earth beloved humans

2021-03-27T07:03:40-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

We are all blind, well most of us I woke up last night as my usual wakefulness, and the tv was on, I switched to netflix  and put on a boring documentary about the Oceans. that usually puts me back to sleep, not last night, at least until I seen, what I already knew from watching the Cowlicious documentary about how our farms and cows are already polluting the Earth. It is good we have all these issues for people to bitch about, yet the real important ones, the future of the EArth is at stake!! no shit sherlock well maybe overstated, it may take another 100 years of killing off the oceans and most of the creatures, so I as most of you will be all [...]

harsh realities of being overweight, sudden death

2021-03-28T04:42:42-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I feel very grateful to have lived 58 years on this planet, there are many that do not, I was once working on the hill building downtown Anchorage with this laborer seemed heatlthy enough, he died suddenly, he was 38. my cousin Peter died suddenly, he was about the same age, food addiction is nothing to sluff off, when we die, our story stops, over, nothing, except the words and memories of "others" sure you dead, in heaven perhaps? that is another story.. This is serious business, we have become lackadaisical  in our health, we have become sheep, at least I was, Cancer and the whole Medical Dynasty has opened up my eyes to a huge health problem, heart attacks are caused by diet, the food you eat, [...]

Seattle the Emerald state

2021-03-24T06:47:16-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I do miss Seattle at times, the water is everywhere, the green trees, the lakes, the woods. They tore down my old high School, Lynwood high school, I tried to add it to schools that I had attended, and was only able to add Meadowdale, not even sure I know where that school is :/ Facebook hey, facebook, why you delete my school from existence? why? why? they having a 40 year reunion, I dont remember too many people from back then, a handful, Brian Amend, Kenny Snyder and his sister. Joe and John roach, RIP John, Pat Brock, and Joy S, her brother Dave. she and Pat were on again off again, had a small crush on that blond, but she was pats girl friday of [...]

Health is Wealth

2021-03-24T05:59:28-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

it seems like poppy cock borgladash, but it is true, dead men tell no tales, or enjoy their pot of gold. you cant take it with you holmes, sherlock that is, not vato hahahah funny to self Anyway, I feel fine, I am under some weird issues, but I feel fine, my mind is sharper than ever, except when doing tile, or electrical or plumbing, but I am learning, and after all, I have fired more electricians, and plumber for lack of competence or shady business practices, but doing the work is harder than, knowing how it is supposed to be done, anyway this is a health update. I am still doing the same diet, Salads, made by my mostly sweet Mary :)  protein, eggs, raw, soft [...]

Bathroom almost complete, not liking working from home :/

2021-03-24T05:14:36-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Working from home, brings a whole can of worms, especially when your a contractor, a General Contractor, that means, I know how things should be completed, but it does not mean that I have all the skills or patience to do all of them, well, not yet. truthfully, I can not see doing a full bathroom remodel at a customer house, that they are living in, especially a Master bath. maybe if they moved out. We are really pleased with the new shower jetted tub combination bathroom, but it was a tough project, we extended into the garage 4 ft and added a jetted tub. for me the toughest part was the tile, my main concern was water managment, and making sure of not future damage, no [...]

RIP Uncle Frank!!

2021-03-12T08:38:08-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I have found out that my Uncle Frank Pagano has passed away recently, I always had a good time visiting with Uncle frank over the years. He was a rare individual from old school Kodiak, He was always about family, that has always been a high priority with him and my Auntie May. I could spend hours talking and visiting with him, and always wanting more, that is rare for me, he was direct, honest and to the point, no mixing words. In these days of political correctness, it was a rare treat to visit with him and see his point of view. He was a leader. I respected his insight and views, and often agreed with him. he came under fire in recent years and had [...]

Alaska Native CLarification of: all things thought and sought

2021-03-06T11:11:39-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I know I have been slamming the Native community for being hoodwinked into the whole Business farse, but in reality.... It is still a farce, as distraction, but there have been lots of Progress in the years since their inception, not so much in Kodiak, where the emphasis is only on business, well mostly. The main issue, that I have, and really it is not a personal issue, but from where I stand, looking in..  the CEO of Koniag, my Regional Corporation makes 500 grand a year. yeah, I mean 100 grand a year is alot of money, now that is not the main issue, The amount of scholarships that were doled out to Koniag shareholders was less than his salary. This is, or shows where the [...]

business as usual

2021-03-06T10:28:31-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

well got most of the worst part of the tile  and other stone work done in the bathroom, now starting  on the shower plumbing, I have decided to connect directly off the water heater and inlet to the water heater for the hold and cold in the new shower, and that went pretty smooth, except for buying the wrong size shark bite fittings, and had to do a major take back, but that is what is really good about home depot, it would be a nightmare dealing with the plumbing supply houses, the old days, and those shark bites, great invention, but still need to make sure they do not leak. for the new Jetted tub, I just used the old connections, which run from the sinks [...]

Copper Gaylore galore huh? wth..

2021-03-04T10:47:59-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I dont know where I get this headlines they just pop into me brain OK, so I have been connecting with my Native American side, in a more meaningful way, lately, and that brought me to the plight of  the local San Carlos Apache band, which had been relocated from Rich Copper land, the land which sits near superior and runs all the way up to Miami and Globe, the destruction is clear, raped land, raped and barren, it looks kinda cool in some places, but compared to the existing paradise, it is a shame, Oak Flats Campground, it is Beautiful, I can see why the Apache band loves this land, it is in the desert, but Not. so close but so far, you head to superior, [...]

good times bad times

2021-03-04T09:41:49-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

well had gig to do, ended up bailing, it was a classic bait and switch, nice  sweet customer turns into ATTILLA the hun, so I show up to modify an underground driveway, simple enough, well tough job, but no problem, I was ready to work, they were having problems with their small cars  and being able to get them into the basement.  I asked them to drive down so I could make sure I get the right adjustments, NO WAY, I almost burned up my clutch, hmm that is not my problem, learn how to drive with a  clutch, or get an automatic, I burned up my share of clutches, so alright I could figure it out with some boards, her front end clearance was only 3" [...]

the challenges of living a stress free life… what they be?

2021-03-02T08:34:18-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

well today for me, I was thinking this pre workout stuff, which is said to burn fat better, than without using it, at least to clinical studies, hard to drink, I was thinking I would guzzle down some rock gut whiskey, not often, but even worse, have you ever drank Mad Dog 20/20, that shit is nasty, we grew up on boonze farm, southern comfort and Michelob beer, at least in SC, we used to go to the local 7/11 and ask strangers to buy us some beer, with our money of course, but it never took longer than a few minutes, crazy huh? The Marijuana from those days was called "Commercial" it was all sticks and stems,  and it was harsh stuff, and you had to [...]

mind your own business and you wont be minding mine ;/

2021-03-01T13:36:20-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

haahhah but we all like to hear what is going on in each others lives, well well what have we here. I know, I have been on kinda a negative, monstrous tear lately, hopefully I will be getting a better perspective, but actually have been on a life epiphany of sorts. I still live by dont sweat the small things, I am breathing walking, talking and still have freedom of movement, free speech and my mental facilities, although I am sure that can and always will be subjective ;) My thought today, as I venture forth into our world. relationships and who's business is it?  disclaimer: this are my opinions, and they are subject to change, without warning or notice I do not think, parents, friends, children [...]

February 2021

strike 3 your out

2021-02-28T13:26:22-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I stuck out today, It was awful, not the end of the world, far worse things can happen, it was right before I was slated to pitch an inning. my focus was no longer on batting, I had gotten 1 good shot for a double on the day, the others should have been played, but I did scor3 three times. love to score!! Rusty on the mound, had lots of power no control had to tone it down, didn't help my "team mates, and their negative banter"  the enemy within, I could do a whole book on just team dynamics and why it is so important, the old saying if you do not have something good to say..... well you get the point, some of them are [...]

BEAUTY, in the Eye of the Beholder?

2021-02-28T06:33:38-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

What is beauty? I see beauty as something that makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside, like a sunset warms the soul. I see beauty in good people, nice people, a rare commodity in this age of the fast paced phone world. Since being a child and my first crush Trisha Pyron in the 5th grade, I have  been aware of what I thought was beautiful, I remember I was worried that maybe it would change over the years and I would no longer think the same, seems an odd thought, but that was my thinking in the 5th grade. In hindsight, looking back on my early years, although Trisha was my first crush, I had many others, well I grew up in Southern California, and you [...]

What is in a Name? Gratitude for those that REPRESENT families

2021-02-27T12:27:46-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Family Names come and go, families come and go.  This piece of work ahhah my brother gilbert used to say " he was a real piece of work" as in a piece of shit, anyway this one is about Those People in our lives, that are not their by birth, but by choice. Let start with my Grandfather Howard Carlough who represented for the Monson Clan,  and then there was Oscar Monson who represented for the Thorlakson Clan, and then on my Dad Side, Kelly Simeonoff, who adopted my father into his clan for the Ingram Clan. These are exemplary things, to give a person a name, one he  can be proud of, I was always  proud of the Simeonoff name, and wore it like a [...]

bathroom coming along

2021-02-27T11:15:14-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

the bathroom is coming along, I do not like tile work, it is the mixing, the dry pack is ok, but that thinset man it sticks to your hands. I put some chairs in, next time, I will know better than just trying to do it on the fly, I would not do these bathrooms on my own. sub out the tile fo sure. nightmare, can not imagine working in someones house doing that work, I think it will turn out ok though. going to be a master piece. but I see all of my mistakes :/  not perfect, maybe next time, will spend more time on the wall tiles. awful work, dirty work, yuck a mess.

my biggest issue, is the 2nd Amendment it should be your too

2021-02-27T11:11:32-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

This is a big issue, bigger than the first Amendment. this is the only law that gives power to the people.  I am ok with the people that dont like guns oar think they should be banned, but  I do have issue with it. For one thing. We live in the Age of Peace and relative safety, we get all uptight when a few hundred people are gunned down, oooo ahhhhhhhh oooooo ahhhhhh OUTLAW guns, maybe you should learn some history?  One of the greatest Nations ever was ROME, do you think the people thought they were so powerful, that they could feel safe, this is just one county, How about the American Indians?  Genocide has been more the Norm than an aberration. not just  14, 30 [...]

Racist Rant I have 2 its criminal

2021-02-27T10:42:28-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Ok, I have a rant, I have been watching the news, where Asian people are being assaulted, this makes me sick,  Racism of any kind is  wrong, but targeting innocents people is downright despicable. Have we not grown past the World War years? Japanese internment camps? I think we are headed towards darker times, I do not see this just going away. There are lots of things that do not seem right. is this shit that goes on all the time, and now the press is reporting on it?  Our News is so backwards, we may have free speech, but were fed propaganda 24/7  

my granny

2021-02-27T10:34:16-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I like to remember my granny at times, she had lots of good insight for a Native, they were intertwined with the Russians, American and Native community. i find most of her thoughts still hold water to this day. She used to talk about how,  she was glad she married one of her own kind, both Native, and white, mixed, I think they were mostly Russian and Native, but who knows, I often wonder if there is some real truth behind this. I wonder how many mixed, as in White people marry Natives and do whatever possible to subjugate or in some cases downright sabotage them?  my imagination runs deep, maybe they are even paid to do so?   Dark thoughts? ANTS? no just wondering as you know [...]

out of my comfort zone

2021-02-27T10:18:08-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I have been doing  these video clips singing, or trying to :/ THEY ARE FUN I have to admit it is hard to watch, but if I can not take the heat get out of the kitchen.  fun to do though, even learning some guitar, very slowly. have to keep my mental capacity up there, do not want to end up like pops, so sad. here is the full clip just sharing me myself and eye

what is going on in my life

2021-02-22T06:53:25-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

well glad you asked :/ I will be putting a big effort into getting this bathroom finished, with an eye on new jobs, have  few bites. geting excited about the shower, we bought a 12" shower deal with a wand, good reviews, got the tiles picked out, just have to run some more plumbing and wires, but the end is near, just have to push a little harder, then a nice jacuzzi tub and shower, I was going to put in 2 shower heads, but this 12 incher should be wonderful. the kids are all doing ok, feel detached, like life is not fair, they all have their own lives, what use am eye? has been washed up old man, perhaps dying, perhaps a hypochondriacs , perhaps [...]

The perfect world? what is it? let me tell YOU

2021-02-22T06:33:51-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

I do a lot of whining and complaining about our society and our world, yes it is true, at 58 years, I have seen the light. I have become a student of history, WAr is our history, it is the history of man I feel very blessed, that I even have the ability to journal like this, in china, or Russia, I might be thrown into prison, or worse if I was in Syria, I would be tortured and killed. This I know is true. Most of us are so caught up in just survival, or paying bills mortgage, raising kids, that we never get a chance to "smell the roses" or in my case, analyze the truth. No matter what country you live in, you are [...]

rehashing old posts reiterate incinerate..

2021-02-19T05:33:13-07:00Categories: my bullshit|

Ok, so I have a few disclaimers: racism is bad, I do not judge people for things they can not change. We are all born into this earth in a pre-set format. We have no choice. we do have a choice, at least some of us eventually. Racism is cultural, it starts at the bottom and works it's way up.  they have had all the segregation in schools, neighborhoods, everywhere except jails and prisons. until the little diddy is addressed it will always live on. was it created by prisonous? hell no. this is governmental greed, This has been hashed out of the same  old idea of controlling populations from the Roman days of conquer. give power to certain groups, give them benefits, and control the whole [...]

Go to Top