January 2021

Help me Dktor im dyin, just a sec let me see what the manual says :/

2021-01-07T05:46:23-07:00Categories: Cancer daze, my bullshit, Richard, Richard life pages|

Symptoms, shmimtoms, who needs them, your  TSH levels high, but your T4 is ok, so all your Hypothyroidism is all in your head, or your heart, or your dry flaky skin, or your nails, that are brittle, or perhaps in your hair that refuses to grow, much..... yeah that is the consensus That is not the worst part, it gets better, or for worse, :) anyway, this all started a year ago, well about 15 months ago, diagnosed by some testing place, I had hypothyroidism, then again in the Emergency room, after my heart was feeling real freaky, but then they have some Indian stooge call me and say, no you dont have it, your fine. I go on  my merry way until this year, about 3 [...]

December 2020

Another Christmas gone by

2020-12-26T17:19:34-07:00Categories: my bullshit, Richard, Richard life pages|

All through house not a creature was stirring not even a MOUSE well that was a good Christmas, even without our 2 oldest childrens, they have lives of their Own now, proud, but sadness of sorts. We did have the baby home, well somewhere nearing 28. but always our baby boss, has been a blessing taking care and extending our Parenthood, We are just so proud of ourselves, that he even chooses to live with us, in this age of people that scoff at families, that stay together in this day and age. He has proven himself successful in every career he has engaged, Manager of a Chipotle, Manager of a high end retail chain, Z galleria, and currently working his way up the chain at [...]

twizzle twazzle time for this one to go home

2020-12-20T12:08:57-07:00Categories: Richard|

I used to watch this cartoon, it was a turtle who would go from job to job and every time end up in a mess well that is me in a nutshell :/ why do I waste my time on things, that in the long term, will only be a waste of time, I wish I had a crystal ball for that kind of shat the only thing that I have is experience, and the golden rule there is a saying doing the same thing over and over is insanity, they used to say that to me when I was managing baseball too, I ended up wining 2 championships, with different players, well except me and Tim Ramsey, my right hand man in those days there comes [...]

The time is Ripe

2020-12-20T12:09:57-07:00Categories: Richard|

Exactly when is the right time? I am stuck in the loop just like anyone else, unfortunately they have made some songs on that premise, my fav someday never comes what does that tell us? well eye likes to think that we need to live in the moment, but that would leave little time for reflection, a balanced life seems best although I am a dreamer, I also try to stay rooted in realistic thinking, We are all in our own ideals about how life works, most of it based on media and our surroundings. one thing that I do know for sure, I am like the seasons, constantly changing and adapting to life's circumstance, and that I too am constantly changing, would it not be odd, [...]

Clarity is clear az mud

2020-12-20T12:10:50-07:00Categories: my bullshit, Richard|

all this thinking makes me brain hurt, lol just kidding... We are really living in the twilight zone, or are we? I think we are a Buch of knuckleheads, me included. WE ALL COMPLAIN about something from time to time, some more than others. I can only really talk for myself, me myself and eye COVID, has taken over the United States of America, what the hell is it? it seems like a scam.... but I do not want to die, at least yet! my future is limited, but we still must trudge forward. at any min, any day, tragedy can strike. Recently Lonnie Powers died from Cancer, but since he has died, 2 more deaths of High school mates, both were unexpected, both were my age, [...]

November 2020

Preceding years, oblivious

2020-12-20T12:25:16-07:00Categories: Richard|

Ok, so my first memory of life on this planet started in Hawthorne California, but this was not the actual start, I had a few other experiences, like the 1964 Earthquake, having my hands burned on a stove at 2 years old, about the same time as the Quake. I can still see the scars from the burns, which my Mom told me about. We all have our memories, some of which mesh with other accounts, well I had none during this time, I have seen some pictures of me outside in a play The is not much that I do remember about the Hawthorne days, I got into my first fight and lost, got kicked in the balls by another kid, end of fight, I had [...]

overthinking is good 4 me

2020-12-20T12:29:53-07:00Categories: my bullshit, Richard, Richard life pages|

I love to think and overthink, that is who I am, I think therefore I yam hehe The key to overthinking, is to accept things that you can not change, and for me, is Turing that stuff over to God, it is my religion. without overthinking, I probably would not be in business, as construction contractor, Murphy's Law, comes to mind, "what can go wrong, will go wrong" sometimes it is not so good, when overthink about people, well that is a wild cared at best, we never know, what is going on in peoples lives, life is hard, can be hard, I am grateful for the life I have, for all that accept me in any form, I am grateful, yet this comes with caution, as [...]

liberation or abandonment?

2020-12-20T12:31:25-07:00Categories: Alaska Native, my bullshit, Richard|

Ok, so I have been really looking what my life stands for and how I would like things to end up. wanting and getting are 2 very different options, as brother Tollak says, if you have shit in one hand, and wishes in another, what do you have? a handful of shit, that kinda speaks the same as a bird in the hand, but shit makes the point better My main issue is whether to abandon the whole Native existence, I mean, do I want the Native label? Am I really proud to be part of a conquered people? A victim? Native means victim to so many, just look at the post on most of their sites. they stole our land, boo hoo they raped and enslaved [...]

my fathers son

2020-12-20T12:33:50-07:00Categories: Current Events, my bullshit, Richard, Richard life pages|

Some people, no matter what you do in life, will always find ways to attack your character. I have been attacked my whole life for being my fathers son. your father did this, your father did that. where do we get this? What does the sins of the father mean? most of the stuff i hear, is not worth salt, but where do people get off attacking people for whom their parent are? When someone does this, it is more an affirmation of their own lock of integrity, than mine, are you serious, your judging me on who my father is? now let me say, I have been guilty of this, our of anger, as it is not a reasonable thing to do. some say I'm just [...]

Sunny Southern

2020-12-20T12:39:31-07:00Categories: drinking daze, Richard, Richard life pages|

working in sunny California was a breath of fresh air, since living and working in Alaska for so many years, it had been about 7 years since I had lived there, we moved to Washington State when I was 17 years old. I could dig ditches, demo houses or do whatever work that was put before me, I had been used to working on boats, and at the end to the day, your still on the boat, I do love boats and working on them, but it is something that can be hard, The problems I have had with jobs over the years was lack of a challenge, or jobs not clearly defined, or stagnant, and ended up quitting my Construction job at Bergeson Construction. at that [...]

Eye remember

2020-12-20T12:46:48-07:00Categories: Richard|

Remembering the past is a pastime for me, sometimes it will be a relative, and sometimes just a random person that I worked with or went to school with, just to think back and at my mindset in those times. I know that even though I have transitioned to a better me, I also know the path was not a clear one. recently I was tested and failed. there are always wildcards in every situation, how to plan for unknown wildcards? I have know Idea :( lucky for me, my list is large and getting larger. I have written my whole story over the years, often deleted by me, after knowing, anything you say, can and will, be used against you, know, not just in court, but [...]

what we have here is a failure to communicate

2020-12-20T12:50:12-07:00Categories: Richard, Richard life pages|

it has been almost a year since my big discovery, which is another family, complete with grandchildren, it has been a roller coaster ride of emotions for ME. what the future holds, I have no idea, time will tell, but for me, it has given me a different perspective, almost a breath of fresh air, with a hopefull heart I move forward, slowly, but shriley, :) life is good, in the our desert, I have been contemplating the end years, I mean not death, but life after work, well I shall work until hell freezes over, but that can be anywhere. well off to work eye go. be safe be safe, do not let down your guard be vigilant.  

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October 2020

Happy OCT 25TH 2020

2020-12-20T15:27:08-07:00Categories: Richard, Richard life pages|

what does the future hold? mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of all? I have some stories to share and an update on me thinking as eye head into the golden years :), they are coming, if I am lucky. I do have no regrets in my life, well, lots of them, but not such that creates internal anguish, that anguish is toxic. where does my anguish come from, PEOPLE, yes, perhaps you? BUT, that is not entirely true, is it? My anguish comes from my response to external stimuli, which comes in many forms, it is ALL IN MY HEAD. that is not to say, that people do not get off on distracting or purposefully making life difficult. I have choices. recently I [...]

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Happy Happy birthday “B”

2020-12-20T15:30:58-07:00Categories: Richard, Richard life pages|

Happy birthday Bianca!! today is my First Grandchild's birthday, life is good. My daughter Shavon was born 6-8-1984, and she had a daughter on this day in 2003 This is all bittersweet for me. Well actually it is all sweet, I am still ecstatic today as the day I found out, therein lies my dilemma, you see, I was unaware of having a daughter in 1984, or a Granddaughter 10/11/2003, looking back at that time, where was I? my Uncle Fred died in Kodiak July 21, 1984     Hal Dierich, Jack Johnson, Harold Martin and Fred Monson were lost in a plane crash near Black Point, Spruce Island. Where was I? I was in Kodiak, fishing on the Bertha Marie for Ivar Malutin, the crew were Gene Delgago, Ivar called [...]

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My Village

2020-12-20T15:34:04-07:00Categories: Alaska, Alaska Native, Richard, Richard life pages|

I have a village, I hometown, Kodiak Alaska, yes it is my true home, nowhere on earth do I feel more at home, than on this island, well, except when I am with sweet Mary. I was born in the griffith building downtown Kodiak, I do not have any memory of the 1964 earthquake tidal wave or anything from that time, perhaps, I remember great granny, but that was after, I think. I do not remember when I was 2, I stuck my knuckles on a hot stove, still have the scars, but do not remember. I do not remember being in a chicken coop on the side of the house, but i have seen pictures of me. my first remembrance of my life was about 4 [...]

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My Native life

2020-12-20T15:36:37-07:00Categories: Alaska, Alaska Native, Richard, Richard life pages|

ok, I have come to a few conclust\ion about my life, the most important, stay alive, be alive, be in the moment, it may be hard when your mixing bags of concrete, but it is possible, I find that not being in a hurry to get things done, makes them more enjoyable, but lets be truthful, hard to enjoy, when your covered in portland :) That I am an Indigenous American, not by culture, but decree, I have a blood quantum, a BIA number, but on the other hand, I belong to no tribe. I belong to 2 Native entities. Koniag and Uganik Natives, neither on of them is a federally recognized tribe, somewhere down the line, as the corporations were diluted out of any value, other [...]

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they call me dad

2020-12-20T15:38:25-07:00Categories: Richard, Richard life pages|

that my friend is a fact, well at least 3 of them do :/ but I was able to steal away a dad, it was poised, more like a "your dad" but the d a d were emphasized, almost as if it was to me :) but alas, we must remember the song lyrics "you think this song is about you your so vain" yes that is me, I perceive the world according to my experiences, which have been plentiful if not overabundant< I digress, what was i talking about, my self of course :) The whole covid thing is somewhat of a reset time, really, I have no clear view of my future, I just know it must include sweet mary, why? because I Love here [...]

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September 2020

Native this native that Alaskan Native

2020-12-20T15:40:58-07:00Categories: Alaska Native, Richard, Richard life pages|

what is an alaskan Native? blood? culture? inheritance? what exactly does it entail? is that enough questions? I am at a time in my life, a kind of wtf moment of sorts, All this Native issues, not only, am I Native? I look white, the full bloods say, am I white, some say, no. am I confused? perhaps. The problem arises for me, I was raised as white as can be, I was exposed to some Native culture, not much but some, I lived in Bush Kodiak more than a few years, but there was not much culture, it was Alaskan, no different than most white or otherwise Alaskan lifestyle, I am the end of a long line of assimilation, like when the borg got captain jon [...]

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The bumpy road of life :)

2020-12-20T16:59:44-07:00Categories: Richard, Richard life pages, Sarah|

l have been on a bumpy ride lately, since covid has entered our lives. I attribute this to bad or poor decisions on my part. I know better in most cases, but ignore my previous run ins with certain situations, I guess, sometimes I just think, I can do it, and I can, but at what cost. Construction can be a tricky, but contracting is tricky, and not in a good way. most of my latest bumps, have to do with contracting as a sub contractor under another contractor. I should probably be writing this on my azbuild site, but alas, that is too boring, I feel like life has given me another brick wall, or maybe a chance to change the road I am on. not [...]

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August 2020

Native first always forever

2020-08-09T20:33:59-07:00Categories: Richard|

Time for a Native rant, if your bleached and better because of it, you may want to exit out right now I have had a good 40 years to ponder this whole Native thing, but not really until more recently, with living in Indian country and seeing what is still going on, that in conjunction with my newfound 'Great courses online https://www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/ for those of you doing home schooling, this could be a bonanza, might even help them find their course, yeah a pun, funny to self The whole Native land claims, reservations has always and it seems will always be under attack, not just forgotten, it seems there are whole populations in the phoenix area, who were welfare-red off of their reservation and relocated to the [...]

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Happy hungry sunday, yes getting used to being hungry

2020-12-20T17:04:47-07:00Categories: Current diet, Richard|

just got back from the store, went to sprouts, such nice food, got some split pea and some other beans. healthy living, they even have the nuts pre-packaged in one pound bags, no more free labor :/ The steaks look good, but kinda spendy for what looks like commercial packaged stuff, from who knows where? when? ended up going to fry, but even the great deals of yesteryear are long gone, opted for some cheap flank steaks, hoping Jt can pull off one of his chef tricks. I have energy and full of piss and vinegar, with intermittent hunger pangs, best to stay busy, at least mind busy. I feel like my body is healing, except for that pesky prostate, such is life... almost a little amusing [...]

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relationships and MOre

2020-12-20T17:12:47-07:00Categories: my bullshit, Richard, Richard life pages|

Lately, I have been cleaning up my act, yes, well kinda, just putting perspective on things, like what relationships are important, which ones cause me angst, Facebook friends down to me closest sweet Mary and my children, which are all good, not without growth and dissension of sorts, I mean really, is there an Ozzie and Harriet type of relationship out there, in perfect sync on everything? Eye think not! I recently resigned from a position on our little Native board, it had become so poisonous to my life, just what the government intended, but on the flip side, maybe I can still salvage some family relationships on my island, although it looks bleak, I am hopeful, They have done some good things. we no longer are [...]

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2020-12-20T17:17:37-07:00Categories: Richard|

I had posted something, perhaps in a negative light of FaceMonster, its become quite a letdown in post from all the rhetoric, and posted a quip about religion, and how it has been used with malice, but not how, the Churches real help people, who need it, like with my grandson, Abel, and the sock brigade, not just the socks, but bringing it to the forefront of the news, and Rob and Shavon, taking in a child and giving her a safe place to live, such good hearts. The leopard spots are hard to rub off :/ Been working on plans for a job in Glendale, but it looking sketchy at best, part of the business, that I detest. This situation, can be nightmare. Sarah and Jackson [...]

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no more MJ for now, nice change

2020-08-02T01:49:00-07:00Categories: Richard|

well, a little more stress, is good right? not really,but either is being dumb as a rock, when under, no pain, no gain. I think I need to get a sore on my head checked out, but I think it is just the aftermath of having my neck cut up. had a new eye made, thinking of going back to the eye patch, and Captain Jack lives again, as Jack Rafter, Carpenter. I'm thinking of getting out of my shell and making some safety videos, well, we shall see, Shavon, an inpspiration, really puts herself out there, like to hear her sing some Steve Nicks, or Janis bbbbddddddddthatsAllfolks dont hate me for thinking the way eye dew

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Saturday Saturday / who sings that song?

2020-08-02T01:44:44-07:00Categories: Richard|

"freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose" Janis Joplin A short hello on Saturday. still working on my new mindset, had a hard time tonight, stopping when full, best steak in a while so good, mouth watering with some saute onions/garlic and an avocado salad, not too much as your stomach can digest More than a feeling, is it? hunger pangs... seems to be very closely related, maybe that is why they call it emotional eating. losing faith in our President, like he is a robot, but not much faith in the hateful side, we have no choice, a good time for a human being to join the race as a no party AMERICA FIRST candidate. the debates will tell all, but too much [...]

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July 2020

I feel Good, thank you Luigi Cornaro

2020-07-28T15:00:18-07:00Categories: Richard|

I feel fine, will it last? I think so. I remember back in the day, working at the Alaska Native Medical center and talking with a Nutritionist, I was asking her the perfect food to eat, I had come to the conclusion that it was raisin bran flakes, after talking to her, I was just as confused about what to eat to stay healthy. this had me a little perplexed, if a nutritionist can not give you a good idea what to eat, who can? that has plagued me over the years, on and off, depending if I was on a health kick or just succumbing to my every food whim, which had is consequences, at that time, working in the computer dept, with little to no [...]

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Another day another dolla

2020-07-22T23:39:05-07:00Categories: Richard|

Well the trip to the doc was a little discerning, they actually were going to do some test, both were a little invasive, up the wee wee and through the poop shoot, but alas, after contemplating the cost, we have insurance, but 20 percent of 3 grand is still 600 bones. On the up side, I may have closed a small project, its in bum fk ejip, but not for very long. it is not optimal as the primary contact holder is an unlicensed Con Tractor, but he seems to have a good head on his shoulder and some decent experience. Not as bad as Joe homeowner trying to contract out a project, "nightmare on elm street" well not always. the last project went pretty smooth, but [...]

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when all else fails, the dog did it

2020-07-21T15:17:18-07:00Categories: Richard|

yes, a viable option, as the new dog is a pack rat of sorts. I found one pair with the eyeglass missing, you want to know why I have so many pairs, well I am prone to misplacing things, but not at this level, the pretty boy Rhagar does have a penchant for taking my stuff, still have one missing tennis shoe, they were about to be scrapped, just happened sooner. the good news .most of them were cheap 2 for 89 pairs, but 2 were RayBan, one was a christmas present, dont sweat the small things. going to the doc today, they have a new thing where they steam the prostate... then it shrinks, nothing worse than having to pee and it feels like an IV [...]

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I just want to go hide

2020-07-20T19:52:29-07:00Categories: Richard|

Everything is ass Que No escape, not for me, maybe a little of that pie went for a 3 mile Rollerblade trip around the block with Our pup Sophia, she is an expert, not sure if I can get the "RAHGAR" to comply, but I will try. Just taking a break from working on RSJ website, not much to say, well ... yeah. o I have deleted Facebook and Instagram for the time being, it is not difficult, except the times when have free time, but usually can figure some question, that I want to know, I did watch a course on the great courses about how "Scientist" have been doing "experiments" on people over the years and the first one was Facebook and Instagram, It was [...]

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Happy Days ahead

2020-07-20T18:57:00-07:00Categories: Richard|

Where are the good old days? reminice about times gone past... hey I always get these songs in me head, how about this one? uhhhh forgot it.... losing me mind damn have to write them down, something about pie.... oh well live and learn

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WAR WE are at WAR the throes of WAR

2020-07-16T17:32:51-07:00Categories: Richard|

WE are in strange time, which has me looking back to history, my subscription to GREAT COURSES was a great investment at 10 per month, everything from diet and history with many things in between. i have been watching many courses and am able to pick and choose which lecture to watch, some all are good. one of the is called Utopia of Terror and follows politics from World War I to the current situation with most major countries are included. We are upended by the Covid19 yet it is just a flicker, not even a flicker to what has happened in the past 100 years. there have been whole populations exterminated. Genocide was almost the Norm. How can we not deny it existence, when it was [...]

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Pot head dope fiend or just medicine

2021-02-22T05:19:05-07:00Categories: Richard|

I think they can be both, I personally use for both. sometimes we just need an escape from our current thinking or disposition, and sometimes we just need to get a different perspective, or perhaps, we are bored out of our skulls. I know it is damaging to my brain, so the casual use has to be limited. for my medical use it has been a godsend. I can take one drop at night and my neck pain, restless leg syndrome are cured, at least until the next time, just good sleep, sometimes, I wake up stoned, but usually just sleep like a baby, even after a stressful day or and exhausting day. The pills and medicine that had been given to my up until this point, [...]

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my life is slip sliding away…

2020-07-16T16:22:38-07:00Categories: Richard|

time is running our Richard, time is going away. time is everything. accept time, and your accept life, we are all on an everchanging roller coaster ride. We all are on this ride.

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caught between a rock and hard place

2020-07-16T16:18:34-07:00Categories: Richard|

life is short. it seems long, until you get in your 70's or 80's if your lucky enough to make it that far. My 25 years left if I am lucky, has me thinking about quality of life in the remaining years. that brings me to my present dilemma of sorts. One thing that I do know, that life goes on, meaning, that we all have to make a living and survive, hopefully thrive. Eye just can not see, why there would be any animosity. it is as If I was told yesterday, the feeling are still raw, I have another daughter, yet I am alone, lost in space. denied, perhaps with malice. life is precious, my pain is real. I feel abandoned , I do have [...]

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love love love me tender, unconditional love or….

2020-07-16T15:33:19-07:00Categories: Richard|

We always hear about a dogs unconditional love, right? you ever hear the saying about lock your dog in the trunk and he will still be happy to see you, but lock another human in the trunk and expect the same, not likely. A dogs love may be one of the closest we get to unconditional love, that is the kind of love that I aspire to have. we tried to make sure that our kids felt that they were always loved, I hope they always felt that way, how does it feel to be unloved? this is a fine line, how does it feel when the people who should love you the most are not loving, what kids of person do you get? how do we [...]

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A Dogs life

2020-07-16T15:07:59-07:00Categories: Richard|

Well we have had this new dog for awhile now, he is a piece of work. he eats almost anything. last night I was having some watermelon and he was begging for some, so I gave him the end piece, which still had some pulp in it, I came out later and he was on the kitchen floor gouging out the pulp with his teeth. he ate everything except the rind. We have found out he does not like lettuce. Pets really do enrich our lives, especially dogs. I named him loki when we first got him, but our son John claimed him as his own, just like Sophie, but I think he changed his mind on sophia, anyway Jt decided to rename him Rhagar, like RAY [...]

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The Devil went down to Georgia, RIP Charlie Daniels

2020-07-06T17:33:14-07:00Categories: Richard|

Looks like we lost another American Icon, Charlie Daniels, one of my favorite songs, loved the fact little johnny kicked the devils ass!! because he was the best there ever was I love that kind of confidence, too bad like is not a song, but for the record, life without music? forget it. Devil went down to Georgia

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RIP Lonnie Powers

2020-07-05T16:35:26-07:00Categories: Richard|

Well, bad new this week, Lonnie Powers from Canyon Country California has passed away. Lonnie had stage 4 throat cancer and had been in a battle for a few years, but for the grace of God, there go eye. I met the Powers family through the Dupuis family, my brother Kelly and Gilbert knew them better than me, but they are were a close knit family that eventually moved to Ohio, why, not sure cold bitter winters. I remember seeing Lonnie in Calfornia in the mid 80's at an apartment in Canyon Country, We played poker, and it was one of the few times that I could not lose, it was for change/quarters, nickel, dime game. Still, had a hand that could not lose that day, fleeting [...]

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letter to the Editor

2020-07-03T19:04:34-07:00Categories: Richard|

I remember as a kid I used to write letters to my mom and dad. I wonder if mom still has them, these days it is too easy to send and email. I remember in grade school, they taught you how to write a letter. you would read letter and answer it as it pertained to the letter. I am not sure they teach that any more, maybe less.

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Happy Birthday to my Lovely Smart Daughter SARAH

2020-07-02T15:38:13-07:00Categories: Richard|

Life is precious, and so is she, 29 years young, I am so proud of her. I used to call her bubbles ginski, and now I call her precious. She is living life, we love her, wish we could see her today. Jt graduatesMe & my SarahPreciousSARAHkisses for mewsarah and kitty Mewkitty on shoulderbaby kitten Mewkitty OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAjt rich SarahOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAAWKWARDOur BabiesummmSarahhhSARAHHHHHMy Precious& sweet Marybabies in Snow lindenfavorite pic of our babiesme soaking up babiesour crew sarah

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Politics or Poison

2020-07-02T15:08:19-07:00Categories: Richard|

Ok, Somehow I need to get off the political bullshit wagon, but not before one last post. We can not watch broadcast TV or the News, without some sort of attack on the other side, or on facebook Black lives matter, All lives matter, All cops matter, no cops matter, and more, but the worst part is that all this seems planned, by both sides, what are they really hiding? Why do we never hear about the issues? what is their Plan? Actually I guess they both have plans the Republican plan, is the rich make money and it flows down to us workers, that sounds good to me, where do we catch it? o we have to work for it? no problem, just want fair money [...]

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June 2020

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