Wow, tired, beaten, good to be home. So I have a few words before I hit the sack. this is my online journal, it is not anything but my dumb thinking, it is not thought out, it is from the hip.

it is not meant to be a tool. for me it is about thinking about things, I often take the devils advocate in my mind, and then the be grateful mindset, they are both valid. I have been on this earth for 60 years, and have tried to lean new things that whole time. I have learned many, but I refuse to let my work define me, especially jobs. I must define myself, by my own improvements, not other peoples opinion of me, but I do like to be liked, for me, not for a person who says the right things, anyone who know me, knows I will not pander to anyone, let the chips fall where they may.

I do have my own thinking to share. One thing that has been beneficial to me is  looking at things from the devils end of the pipe.  Think of this batman. IMAGINE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE WORLD TO YOU, AND IMAGINE THEY ARE DEAD. yes it is a bad thought, but it is a thought if used correctly, will give you the power to face anything, it will give you the appreciation of everyone that is alive in your life right now at this moment. You make that choice yourself, nobody else. mourning is fine, feeling sorry for yourself is fine, to an extent. when it damages your current relationships of the living, it can only be poison. we only have so much life on this earth, we are thousands of generation of humans. we all die. choose to live and love during your time. be precious with the ones you choose.