so the Ego is not a good thing, I know this, yet it is part of who I am.

We are our Ego, like the peacock, who ruffles his feathers, I know to keep it in check, but without some personal bravado, not at the expense of others, but some personal triumph, I dont think I could have, or would have done most of my life, I would be livingĀ  somewhere or nowhere, but not the same, even the one-eyed man has to have some ego, or sense of self worth. mine cam from fighting, sleeping around and using my brain. I know that my Ego is me, but not me.

confused, I am at times, try living in me brain

I used to call my organ brain, as I followed him wherever:)

I remember being in the carpenter school, when I started out, my math had been forgotten, by the time I had made it to my 3rd and fourth years, it was better than ever, even doing pythagoras theory by hand. We were test on this and other math build problems in the Classroom almost regularly, I was almost always the first one finished, yet not the best grade, but the carpenters with better grades on test, took at least twice as long, the superintendents son, was cheating with half of the class, passing answers, and there was poor Alvin, he drank himself to death, I heard, he could not pass the test, he was an eight year apprentice. I know my problem has always been emotion intelligence, witch was lackingĀ  for sure. all of my growth has been to reign in my persona, and my wants.