unless your at the top, your a slave bot. sell your soul to be employed. i’m dying inside one day at a time.  the problem, turning blinders on helps, but I would need to be so blind,  that I could not walk or see two steps ahead.

the petty people are out in force. people wear their life resentments around like clown masks, unable to take them off except for brief intervals.

yet, I am frozen in the good eye see too.

The community, the hope.

so nice and spread out, when I get home to my little box, crammed in on a plot of land so small your in a prison, a refuge, but a prison too, surrounded on all sides.

It looks like work may be ramping up, I have been getting calls and emails from previous clients.

I am thinking about maybe taking on something big, a challenge.  rise grasshopper rise. my only hope is to be free of the chains that bind me. the monkey on my back.

you know what bothers me most, which I have to free myself from? I will tell you. WHEN PEOPLE TRY TO PUT THIER LABELS OF ME, ON ME. i WANT TO KNOCK THEM THE FUCK OUT.

yes, that simmers inside, just the other day, this old wise man, or wise ass, says RICHARD friend to all, I replied, YES, friend to all, and friend to none. That is the truth. I can barely tolerate to look at people, all I see is their baggage, every petty lives lived with hate and resentment for everyone and everything, yet I see the puppies and dogs and see how we all should be. I want to live like a puppy. hahahah mtfkrs there are glimmers of hope out their, but in this place, they all have the clown mask on, with their glances, faces dont hide their internal pain. Is there a place for me in this World? IDFK fyi: I dont fucking know.  I like to cuss. Kodiak favorite word, cocksucker, true, at least when I was a fisherman. This tribe has the ability to spread health and wealth amongst its people, not with greed and corporation, but mindfulness and good eating, they dont have to be like the federal government and their stupid fucking pie chart. I seen them gobble up the pie and poison food like seagulls or puppies, mindless of their own destruction. Warriors they be not. sheep they be.

LOrd have mercy on my soul

everyone’s friend? no, I pity all of you. I hope my friend escapes into his ART.