Peace baby peace. just saying peace baby peace has  nice effect on my own self, or the other day I was saying “Thank you Jesus”  just for no reason but had heard in the the stones song, “then I ran 7 red lights”

Today, I feel like dancing or making a video, or something fun.  I know I have to embrace the feeling, thank you Jesus

🙂  you know what? chickens butt, fried in grease, want a piece?

hahahahhah funny to self

So, I have 25 grand in credit card debt, the hospital and Ambulance is sending me bills for 5200 bones, jobs seem like the Obama years, they all a trap, you know, I do good when the working man does good, the rank and file Americans, these rich, or rich to me, over 100k  a year, are a bunch of cheap assholes. that is my chaotic, really not bad, but pesky if I let it bother me. nobody is going to help me fix these things, I can complain, write emails send letters, but these are corporations and they will use their fucking shit Lawyers and every trick in the book to screw and collect.

But life goes on, and If I let these things bother me, well, that is a shame, shame on me, because it is me who reacts and feels the pain, nobody cares. mOst  actually like it. is this Freedom, no it is all a slave trap.  I do believe in my heart, and this is not just me, this is everyone, that makes under 100k a year, at least in Arizona, sure making 75k is good, but you are locked into car payments, house payments, or whatever, or worse, Medical bills, then you are really screwed.  so what do eye do? cry cry cry, just like Johnny Cash sings.

That is where the Lord comes in.

The good lord.

I saw a post from one of the Russian orthodox Facebook groups, and it was good and positive, so I shared

So how do I survive all this negative thinking, by being grateful, not for having a house over my head, I car, a truck and tools, but by just being alive and breathing, having family that loves me, me Sweet Mary,  when I say thank you Jesus, this is what I think of. look at me, having a family and relationships. Thank you JEus

now I think I will run seven red lights.


Here is some more insight on me thinking

Dogs, dogs and more dogs.

I see our dogs, and I think, we are not much removed from being dogs.

We are a dog family, more than a God family, but we aspire to be better than dogs, how do you say, can we do that?

by not acting like dogs.

Americans have become a culture of dogs.

feeding our faces, just like dogs, I was walking out of the Gym the other day, and what looked like a mother/daughter duo, were eating lunch is the front seat of their car, and just like when you hand a dog a piece of something taste, they were chowing that food down, just like dogs.

They looked at me, I was trying not to be conspicuous, but they did not even pause, they kept chomping, I found it half ass disgusting, and enlightening, this is part of the motivation for this peace. (sic)

this was not the only motivation, as I watched a Netflix piece on “white Wolves”  and this really put everything in perspective, it shows how far, (for my perspective, for only eye, could think such nonsense)  The wolves live in packs, as everybody knows, what is surprising, is that they treat other packs as their enemies, they will even eat another packs pups,  I saw it with my own eyes, they hunted and killed them, and then ate most of them or saved them for later.  This may be somewhat removed from our human behaviors, but not as far as we like to think, the whole pack mentality

exist as strong as ever.  this is evident in all the different Christian sects, not to mention all the different religions, We have small family packs, that we embrace, but we also have a need to belong to a large pack, democrats, Lutheran, catholic, Muslim,  whatever your passion, or poison.

This is also evident, in how we are in public, everyone is an enemy, I hardly see anyone walking around with a welcoming attitude, most, even pre pandemic, wore a face was not sharing good will, maybe not a pup eating face.

The way we drive, not much goodwill, either going so slow your a hazard or just being pushy, like tailgating, when you have no way to pass, or even worse, when there is a clear lane, either left or right, now that might be classified as narcissistic, or lazy? maybe both.

The other thing that I noticed, was how they have the leaders and the leaders all eat before the others, they even had a helper wolf, feeding the cubs, not hers, they did not feed her, just the  Alpha female ate, she starved to death, they left her in the hole she died in.

I was thinking they were going to eat her, but I guess they draw the line at eating family

Are we really so far removed from dogs, or wolves?  we like to think we are, but look at all the obese people, who are just a part of the flock of sheep.

I was watching this doctor hymen, he was talking about how bad the wheat is treated with chemicals, that change it from being a good healthy food, to be a type of poison.

for the most part it takes a life  of eating this shit, before it starts to cause cancer and diabetic insulin resistance, which leads to a body ripe for disease.

yet our dog minds, only think about he nice piece of pizza sitting on the table.

I have no answer, or solution, I do but, I am just a poor man, a cog in a huge machine, maybe I could figure out a way to cash in on all this misery? no thanks.

Let me shift gears, into my religion, or my other half ass rant.

my Christian thinking is this: Accept jesus as my lord and savior, and now I will have everlasting life, that is it, nothing else, no churches, no priest, no bible, none of those other accompaniments, that’s it, I know a heretic, I have been called worse. I do like church, when they are all singing and dancing, the preaching? I can do without.

these are just groups meant to separate, divide and conquer.  or align and attack, it is written, so how about this religion accept JC and have everlasting life, the thought inspires me, to look at the sky and see the great beyond.

when you join these groups, you become their flock, not a good thing to be sheep of a mortal, but to love God, to love the story of Jesus, that should be enough, to even exalt in that, but when they put all these other monkey into some kind of holy position is much like the Davidians. mindless zombies, shouthing mindless thinking.

But that is just my thought, and I never stuck around a church long enough to find out the brainwashing, but in the long and short, these are humans, the paper, the bible is nothing more than texts translated by humans, for humans.

I accept Jesus Christ as my lord and Savior and hope for the everlasting life, I Know a good god will not punish the ignorant, for man himself is a beast without God.

that  is it, pagan? I dont know, I just know one thing, Not everyone can be right!!!!!

ok that is enough of that speculation on my part, have I offended anyone, that is your problem, not mine.

this  is for you, if your version is so good, why are you desecrating the body he gave you? why are you stuffing your faces like dogs? we are given these bodies, and our brains.

dark I guess, but now I have to get back to making some songs.

I love music, it gives me hope, happiness, I know I cant sing, but I love to sing these songs, they make my heart happy. even the dark ones.

I find happiness in being alive. I am alive, I have thought, to be able to exist.


this is dark too, I can hardly do it.

it is very hard.

WE ALL HAVE THINGS THAT SCARE US, for me it is those around me dying, even the pups.

this stoic instagramer that i follow was saying you should imagine the worst things that can happen as a truth, as they actually have happend, this is insane, but after you do that, it makes you able to put your own life in perspective, I have been doing this since my cancer ordeal. it give me peace.

I know we are all here for a limited time, our story begins and ends at birth and death, some have shorter than others

Like Arnold and sally, they were dogs we had years ago, while we were living in Gilbert, they both died in my arms, parvo I think. I still remember them, I still feel the hurt, I only knew them a short time, they were puppies, but I still feel the hurt, the love of those pups. I am a puppy.