that is a good question, in my uneducated opinion it is all 3, I have battled weight issues since the early 90’s, having no clue about what foods to eat, well in those days, it was anything and everything, not too many things this chap, would not stuff down his gullet. my drug use throughout my life time was mostly limited to alcohol, except for the  occasional pot, coke, lsd about 5 times, angel dust about 10 times, and some mushrooms, I can honestly say that I had never been hooked on any of them, except the booze, loved the booze, it was medicine. that is how I felt normal, and that was rare, I never really felt normal, until I did the 12 steps and got off the booze for good, it was the best crutch pacifier. I did like the cocaine, mainly because I wouldn’t blackout, which was almost impossible without some help. I drank like a fish, loved the stuff. I mostly drank beer, but occasionally some schnapps, rum, whiskey and wine, wine gave me a headache, not a glass but bottles. The other drugs, well it was scary, you never knew what to expect, so not very fond, but anything to change my mindset. Pot, well it made me afraid to leave the house, and until my cancer, did not give it a second thought, and now, my opinion, it is a life stifling de-motivator, which ok, perhaps as a special occasion. cocaine, well that shit is expensive, not a good idea for a drinking man, if you can not buy booze or pay bills, and for the most part just did not get into it, I liked it but the coming off it was like, you had been poisined by the devil himself, so not much, I can say, never in Alaska, a few times in California, My biggest nightmare was the time I bought an ounce of it in Washington State after making bank fishing in Alaska, nightmare to the second degree, I did not sell any of it, but shared it all, I was torn between flushing it down the toilet, and snorting the rest up. I survived, but my biggest drug besides was food, yea you heard that right, good old pumpkin pie, fried chicken and any other emotional soothing food I could get my hands on. I believe stress and a bad diet are to blame for my cancer.

Who is to blame? we are born into a life of cakes, pies and enriched flour bread, noodles that are as poisonous as drinking pop right our of the can, doctors actually say that flour products are worst than sugar, because of they way they sit in our intestines waiting for some inflammation to really make a serious problem.
Some of my favorite foods, Peroc, a Russian fish pie, blueberry muffins, fried chicken, calzones,pizza, just to name a few of the really taste ones. I had been blaming gluten too, but I think that is not as bad as enriched flour. fat dumb and happy,that was me, until I got cancer, well that not the truth, It feels like I battled my food addiction forever, I love to eat, even now, such a fun experience.

Some of the problems I run into with my dieting are pesky, for one, It is socially ingrained in  our society, it is a bonding to have a good snack with someone, umm taste snacks. for me it has been portion control, I have been on the Keto diet many times, this last one was all natural, yet I still got sick, but there is one thing that I am not telling, I had purchased some marijuana oil off the dark web, it may have been poisonous, but I will never know, It is not good, been suffering with multiple problems, tinnitus, it wont stop ringing, my heart felt like it could just quit at anytime, yet I pushed it still, my stomach was acidic, which I was hoping the heart symptoms were. my brain was slower, my poor sweet mary, I try not to burden her with my ailments, especially if they self inflicted by stupidity. I had not had this problem before with the pot, so it may have been a poisonous batch.  I threw it all away. I mostly used it at the end of the day, A VERY Good night sleep, now I am back to waking up and suffering the fall back to sleep syndrome, except I just turn the TV back on and usually after a few min of nighttime tv back to sleep.

food is life, yet also death. I often spout out about the obese people everywhere you see, yet, we are all a victim of culture and lifestyle. My American brethren are probably the most affected. I do not know if I will ever beat this drug, but I will give it the old college try.

my insight that I can give to anyone who also battles this beast, is the following, and remember, we are all different, genetically, emotionally and culturally.

Body composition is more important than “weight” disclaimer, all this is my opinion, after years of battle.

you can have lots of muscle and lots of fat and still look good, but a power keg waiting to explode. you can also be skinny as a slim jim, but anemic and unhealthy. you are what you eat, that is so true, not even up to debate. skin, eyes, everything is effected affected? by your diet. The thing that makes me the saddest, is that I have learned all of this in the last few years, since my cancer adventure. The number one thing that gives me remorse, it was too late to ingrain good eating into my childrens lives.  This is not a new thing, the knowledge has been around for hundreds of years. how often do you see a fat japanese, chinese, or any asian for that  matter?  fasting is just a means to detoxify your body and get down to your ideal weight

you have to find your baseline, not while fasting, that comes after, fasting is a way to get where your going, otherwise it is messy math problem, all of these diets you see hardly focus on knowing your calorie usage, and it changes. I recommend working out, but you do not have too, but all studies point to a healthier human if you do, I would not get caught up in having to work out all the time, I especially like to push the limit when fasting and when I get into ketosis, A fat burning machine. it is very confusing

starving yourself is never fun, but I always focus on the detoxing burning fat, this fat is energy, that is what it is for, but we are not prehistoric anymore. We need fat, just not excess fat, if your getting tired and even dizzy that is normal, but a red flag that you may be missing essential vitamins and minerals. check sodium and potassium first, the man that was 456 pounds, was under a doctors care, and he was given potassium, but ended up at the end of his quest with an overload of potassium. I am not sure if it is too late for me, but it is not too late for lots of people, to change the road your on. (eagles) the deck is stacked against us, but if you want to live as long and as healthy as possible, the choice is yours.

living just for dying, dying just for food

stolen and adapted from black sabbath 🙂