dont you know? I hope we all feel special, like a shooting star, Music, so good to feed the soul, that is from one of my favorite bands, perhaps would be #1 except mostly just really like the BAD Company Run with the Pack album, I even made a leather belt with BAd Company Imprinted on it at Diamond High school, my first experience with the Cold life of Alaska, I remember we used to “hooky bob” grab on the back of the bus and have it drag us down the road, me and gilbert were living with my dad on Arctic Blvd in a 2 bedroom apartment, it was the adventure of a lifetime, little did I know it at the time, I had a best friend Dave Cox, and some others. I look fondly back on those days, Watching Star wars many times at the polar theater, I think it was the one.. (o by they way,I am procrastinating again, but will be done today) torture, not the drafting or what they want, my problem is that I lost my version of Autocad Architectural when my XP expired, the new AutoCAd is a behemoth of sorts, almost like going to college all over again, much more intuitive, yet very profile specific, hard to switch around, there is definitely some ulterior motives behind this, why can they not just have a small program that has enough of each discipline to complete at least a small residential project, like a small bim, no they have to make it Ginormous. :/
the other problem, TEMPE, a monster of sorts, Scottsdale, Phoenix, Gilbert, all have a nice helpful website, not TEMPE, bunch of rip off artist.
O I was going to write about… running naked in the wind, of not really just kidding, no this is my online journal, it has been a good vent system, and a kinda a nice remembrance of days gone by, lots of days now, wow, I am going to be 59 this year, YAHOO, ask anyone who knows me, not looking like something I was destined for, and still do some stupid shit, like having my dog pull me around on roller blades, we pass up bicycles, he is getting better about approaching corners, If I remember to slow him down. He love to chase rabbits. such a nice dog, we call him a love bug. him and his sister sophia, I am pretty sure, nobody looks at me like soapy does, love looks 🙂 sweet little freak. she is watching me as I type. let me see… O so I have been getting these request to give blood, probably even more than the Medical collection I get, they want free blood, do you think they give it away free? I would have no problem, if the recipient wasn’t going to be hosed for the cost or the blood goes to someone who can afford to pay a golden price for it, am thinking wrong, I feel this is a correct assumption, do they get donations and then give free blood? who gets it Rich Corporate people? I used to give blood in Alaska all the time, until one lady butchered me up, poking and prodding, nightmare nurse, they all not good, just because they are a nurse, 50% factor, 50% of humans good, they rest, not bad, but wrong thinking, should I explain, maybe should, could, it is only my thinking based on what I do not know, because what I do know is all suspect, confusing, sure, supposed to be. I can see nothing better than aspiring to be a good person, who would disagree with that, that is your answer, simple, right? but what about all the people that do not think that way? well there you have a predicament on your hands, but I do have an answer, actually all this comes from this stoic bullshit, which I find marvelous, inspiring, and life changing, I feel free, I have been freed from my chains, free from my own chains, the biggest jail and most self misery, ME, me me me, I am to blame for all my misery. The buck stops right here, nobody else controls my thinking, Nobody, we can take suggestions from all sorts, but at the end of the day, We control, how we respond, think about things, it really is the only thing we do control, nothing else, now that does not mean we quit trying, but the journey has to be key motivator, because you do not have control over the outcome, love what you do, love the one you’re with, find it in your mind to love life and the world as it is, and this must be said, even thought you do not control the outcome, working hard, does put more things into your hands, or smart work, as hard work on the wrong things will not be fruitful. The mOst Important to mOi is to be Vitreous, that means be a good human, to all other humans, I know my thinking falls short at times, We are programmed at such a
young age, Our programming can be broken or fixed, the key is “knowing this to be true” do we even want to change for the better, do we like our anger? do we like being angry? I can tell you from experience, this has been a tool with me, let me explain, here is a prime example, I played baseball, Adult baseball, I use the term loosely, anyway, we were in California for a tournament, Me my wife and Daughter went to play, so were walking up to the field and this car full of balloons, adult baseball player, drive by saying some lewd terms and one guy holding a pair of panties out the window, I was infuriated, and I showed it, i wanted to hurt, yet only made a small disturbance, but I am pretty sure, none of them would be disrespecting someone they really do not know. What if I had been the better person, like the Stoics profess? I am pretty sure, I would have internalized it into perhaps negative treatment to my own family, perhaps, never know, because I did not, I still wanted to knock him out for quite awhile after that, but really would have done me no good. how would I handle it now? now I would not play with that group, for one thing, they had no idea what makes a good team, one bad apple, I always say, but at that time, I wanted to play, o so bad, now, bunch of little leaguers, who never grew up. There are some very good people paying in these leagues, yet hard to get whole team of them. I do miss playing, yet not that much, you get enemies when you wind a couple of titles, younger people picking fights, too bad, but more time to focus on me, me me me yahoo, what can be more important? first things first, just like in the airplane, get your oxygen first, then help others. I was actually working on my mechanics the other day, focusing on my hips first, and foot strike, I slammed me fingers into the dresser, ouch, tore two fingers up.
lets see what else what I wanting to write about, O O
I was thinking of churches, sure there are lots of negative things, but where can you go, where everyone at least aspires to be a good person, I mean there are some that go for jobs or other hypoctritical reasons, but overall, churches are a place, to go where people seek to be around other good people, personally I do not get the preaching, seems like just being there, means you want to be good, that’s just my thinking, I think it should be more about singing and fun stuff, a good experience. I just love the music, I also think they should throw in some other good music too, Church is where people can go and belong, I remember growing up with and wanting to belong, to be wanted. I do think one thing, is that power corrupts, and preachers are not immune, if more than love or goodness are preached.. being a good person, does not mean being this that or the other. too many like to label, put a label on that person, we all do it, I sure do, you really dont want to know my labels, :/ I am working on it. ok back to work, today I finish o fk what a nightmare I got myself into.