I will tell you why, because when you speak poison it does not poison anyone but yourself, it may poison someone against you, just for showing you Human side, my human side is a cummilaion of my life.

So… I was berating a contractor for being overweight, I think fat is the term I was using. They say that you hate what is in you, that is true with me, I hate that I battle everyday not to stuff my face with anything and everything, like Pops used to say: “I am on the Seafood diet, I see food and I eat it”

Even eating a healthy diet, I am hardwired to overeat, it is brutal, especially doing hard labor, you body say fuel me NOW. so I guzzle high calorie MILK

So I know I was wrong, I feel bad, I am still mad at the person, well not really, but lesson learned, he is off my list of doing business, and that is  “character” I can do without, nice person, that is the key to keep business and personal, separate, not just banking, but all aspects. it is throw away, throw away money and throw away relationships, unless you just going to donate

the other thing I have some shame in. I have been getting these bank text, well they are scammer texts, some really good, anyway, I fill out my bank account information with highly inapproiate username and passwords, maybe they are bad, but maybe they just.. I dont know, but that only makes me dirty too.

that is it for today, have to get back and  dig some footings, about half way done, shoulid finish this part by Tuesday.  feels good to work, not easy, but feels good.

I am working on my video making and posted a couple of them, tried without shirt, could not stomach my fat showing off, then tried with a silkish shirt, well, all I could see was my nipples, and belly fat, my paunch, so I need to get a sharper shirt, but otherwise they look oki doki, had to delete the shirtless one, it was cellulite city.  might my a few today.  we shall see

anyway, I am a work in progress, lots of work and little progress.