I been busy as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. started the framing, been focused, keep forgetting my camera to make videos, next week, anyway hit a snag of sorts, a couple of days ago after getting the beams all up and framed in, I got home, tired but feeling good, but while the shower, I noticed something in my eye, it would not wash out, it was really pesky and painful, anyway I been focus on the framing and gitn er done. I went the next day and was doing pickup bull this and my eye was killing me, mostly when I looked a certain way, I ended up quitting early and heading to the Indian hospital, lucky for me they had an opening at the Salt river clinic, I raced over, but at the building,  it said “Clinic Closed”  anyway someone pointed me in the right direction, The River People health center, wow, it was a spectacular building, and lots of Natives, I like the vibe, it is about time the government start taking care of indigenous people, I know all the H8trs saying “Nobody is entitled to anything”  from the people on the winning side of the colonization

This while Our government sends billions to the Ukrainian people, billions, like its nickels and dimes, pissing money other “peoples”

it is nice to see the river people with good jobs, be nicer if they were the doctors and lawyers, the top of the food chain

anyway  it was nice to see a nice place

The doctor took some stuff out of my cornea, I was in pain, not childbirth pain, but it was misery.

I can not believe I got any work done, I went today too, but I felt way better, a little nauseated, but slept good last night after a hot jetted tub.

I am still red eyed and seeing blurry, the doctor thinks the tear could have changed my prescription, whoa fuck, i have a few pairs…. at least  I can still see.

I am like an observer of my own body, falling apart, this comes as an ephiany…  we are body and spirit. that is my conclusion. all this mindfulness, our body and mind is a self serving monster.

I will never be happy letting my mind run the show, or my body either, for me, all the hormones, hunger, emotions/ all of it is just our selfish lazy bodies running our show. well I am taking charge, one moment at a time, and loving it, my problem?

this is the problem, not everybody want  to hear this bullshit, especially and 80, 84, 90 or even a 70 year old, and they are right, I was thinking of my friend christian’s mom, here I was blabbering about not letting my mind run my show, and she is here in the flesh at 84 years old, just as happy as can be, she made it has a good life, even me own mom, she has lived, all 80 years, well almost 80 in July, we are heading up to Alaska to celebrate her 80 years on this planet, she raised 5 kids and they are all alive and well, I mean for the most part, we are survivors because of mother;)

had a great visit with the dupe, we shot some long guns, he a good study, helped me see an easy way to sight my rifles, without too much fuss, he has this super scope, its bad ass, tells you how far and compensated, I think i said this before, anyway, i wants one, but happy with my cheap amazon scopes, maybe I will win the lottery.

🙂 life is good, keep on keeping on, what else is there?

find your spirit, its above your mortal self, or bodies are needy little monsters.