well, I  saw this video on Facebook , it says you must see this video, a sucker for  a good line, I pulled up the YouTube video, after watching it, I felt like just jumping off a cliff, so depressing, the whole point was long on this small brain, the video had some person in a very monotone, almost emotionless speaker selling the atheist view, he could not sell  snow cones in the dessert, he kept saying over and over, “when you dead your dead” nothing happens, his point was to live now, but that was a piss poor outlook, Know, I am sorry, as to be judgmental on faith based issues, has been one of my pet peeves, even for Jesus people, that say your going to hell in a handbasket if you dont change our sinful ways, or any religion that shoves their “beliefs down anybody’s throat, as it is all faith based, I really wanted to slap the shit out of him, as he was making  it like it was a fact, well I got news for him, he is faith based too, just like anyone else. That brings me to my latest epiphany, in my search to understand myself, The one thing that I do have, is the right now, Right now, this moment, while writing this, I exist, that is it, that is all  I really know, I am quite confident that tomorrow, next month and next year, I will still exist, but there is not guarantees of that. right now, I Richard Ethan simeonoff “EXIST” that is my new mantra, when doing my meditation, I will continue to ask God for guidance, but, every moment, the now is most important. I exist right now. Well that was it, simple, but that whole, “when your dead, your dead, did not go right with me, I had to wash my mind out with Clorox, it is fine, that people want to believe what they want, and I did not have to listen, but I did, and I felt dirty afterward, it was more he was trying to act like there was no other option, nothing, well then slick, tell me where the universe ends, where?  explain how everything just popped out of nothing, the primordial ooze, is ridiculous at best.  there would be some evidence of recurring ooze, nothing