ok, I have come to a few conclust\ion about my life, the most important, stay alive, be alive, be in the moment, it may be hard when your mixing bags of concrete, but it is possible, I find that not being in a hurry to get things done, makes them more enjoyable, but lets be truthful, hard to enjoy, when your covered in portland 🙂

That I am an Indigenous American, not by culture, but decree, I have a blood quantum, a BIA number, but on the other hand, I belong to no tribe. I belong to 2 Native entities. Koniag and Uganik Natives, neither on of them is a federally recognized tribe, somewhere down the line, as the corporations were diluted out of any value, other than a large scale sell out. I see Our Corporation and see these fancy companies and nice suits on all the Staff, and they all are white as snow, not just white looking, like me, but pure as glass white, maybe that sounds racist, perhaps, but it is not a referendum on them, they are just doing what comes natural, get into the best jobs, everybody wants, this is not new, listen to my grandmother tapes, keeping Natives down, at least the brown ones, has been a team sport for years. I have had an epiphany, I am Alaskan Native, always proud, never denied being Native, even when it was not cool, but lets face it, I look white, am white, actually legally more white than I am Native, and I might add, proud as hell to be white, not proud of the white Government. or the white overseers, but the people. there is not difference in the plight of the Scots

No the people to blame, why Natives are still living in poverty, drugs alcohol abuse, they have been forgotten, by their Own kind, well kind of, their own kind, let me explain, yes, I am Native, 7/16 to be exact, according to my blood quantum, which when i first came, out was used to measure intelligence, the higher the Native, the lower the intelligence, so, I guess, im 1/2 assed dumb :/
the whole of the Native claims Act, was designed to fail, in the long term, but yes there are lots of success stories, lots of jobs for others, non natives. So how did we get here? I will tell you, We got here by the iron fist of the Russians, then the overwhelming number of the American purchasers, It maybe noted, that since I am white, I share, both scenarios, except, as a bastard descendant, not as a part of the ruling government. my dad was a bastard son of a mixed Native, and she was the offspring of a mostly white grandmother and a Russian/Native/Aleut native Nick Fadaoff, who in the family lines suspected of going back to Nicolas I Czar of Russia, via a Patrona link, which I have been unable to verify, or disprove. my moms side, was not so much on the side of the suppressor, as my father’s side, hit was more of an abandonment, ( I need to get more info, a test from a suspected cousin) but they cam from Iceland and were made such an interregnal part he made his way into a permanent government employee list with the President. not much culture or winning ways passed down there, now let me state unequivocally I bear no grudges, resentments or bad sentiments either way. this is the world that we came from. The Russians took the Aleuts to California and had them butcher a whole island of people, this is related to the Native girl who survived and thrived, land locked on that island, We are a War like creature, that goes back thousands of years. Europe has been embattled since modern time began, it was not just a white thing, the Mongols, the persians, Romans, huns, Brittish, and many more. We are in a transition from War to peace, the world has been divided up, only WW3 can make that happen, or perhaps a Virus, just as asystematic, but deadlier than the black plague. The Natives are the losers, they are on the losing side, listen to my grandmother, she talks of a teacher who asked the class, who the natives were, none of the darker natives raised hands, except the Simeonoff kids. No were not on the high side, unless, you manage to get into the big leagues, big bucks, shareholders 1000 a year, if your lucky. peanuts. a cookie perhaps, yet you can just move to Alaska, from anywhere in the United states, and “wall AH” you get a permanent fund. so lets talk about all the land Natives get, personally, you get nada, not a drop. you get shared land. We had 30 original shareholders, our land was 750 acres, which was about 25 acres a piece, that is it, and no way to live on it, unless, your a fisherman, we have a lousy 750 acres of land, in the bush, that was the extent of our Native lands. I can not mention, by biggest folly, I was a part of it anyway, We sold off our afognak land, for a cool million, sold out, sell outs. During that time, this is no excuse, but at the time, we were money driven. we will never have access to that land again, we were cheated in a way. looming taxes, a ready buyer, big tax burdens. we could only use the land at that time, if we paid taxes on any improvements, so here is your land Native, but dont try to live on it, the borough will confiscate it for property taxes. this has been the plan from the get go, How many acres have been returned to the State or Federal Government or gotten into private hands, because of being taxed out. Why does this still happen? what are the Native corporations doing to combat this? nothing. I would like to take a note: not all of them are like koniag, and do not promote Native hire, Afognak, has an extensive jobs page, and I know in Anchorage, they do a good job of getting employment to natives. I sure hope these companies are raking it in. because the jobs they are creating are not for Natives. How much money is spent on Education? how much on salaries? We are all aware of the Native injustices of this and the last century. the Eagles sing about it in raped and pillaged the land, this was Warfare from way back, kill all the men and rape enslave the women and children, that is the history. no different here, bitter am eye? not really, most exasperated at the whole thing. ready to throw in the towel, being native has gotten a few doors open, but I always, knew I had to be above the crust, to be tops, not a token Indian, not me, when I was being a token, I moved on, one way or the other. ok, im getting off track.. again

so this whole Native Corporation bullshit, has come to an end for me. perhaps the whole Native deal. I resigned my lordship, 🙂
there is so much self interest in the whole Native Corporation culture, that it is poisonous. families torn apart, friends no more, I was a mess. what did i expect, I really wanted to create something good, we all could share in, be a part of, a new future of sorts. bring families together. visiting family and having a good time, ostracized in family squabbles, but it was business, if your cant handle the heat, get out of the kitchen, really, it had not upsides, except my trip on the Raven, that was a good time, and me an Mary bonded in Bush Kodiak. not the whole Corporation model is nonsense, We have a duty to the Native People, the ones on the front lines of abuse, booze, drugs, poverty. To pass on the love of culture and the land, not mine it to the ground. The Native way of life has been stolen from all of US Natives, except you fat cats at the top, a handful of chosen ones. when they start putting emphasis on Education and not getting the “going Rate” 550 grand a year, and only paid out a few thousand in scholarships, perhaps in this pandemic, you could do something good for all Natives in General, like creating educational videos from kindergarten to Bachelor’s degrees. why is there not a push to get the lawyers on the market, they make the laws, we need to make the laws. I think it is an injustice, when a white Native, does nothing to at least promote justice for the forgotten Natives, we deserve to be able to live on Alaskan soil and off the land, without having to compete with every tom dick and harry, that came to alaska to get a permanent fund. The State of Alaska has been the knee on the throat of Alaska Natives, with the help of benefitty citizens. this is not a Native vs White, it is Indigenous vs Government, The Government, just as the Romans defeated the gauls or the English defeated the Scottish, it is a story of greed and murder. when does all this end, the entitlement of natives? when? When the Government of the United states returns what was stolen, at least the right to hunt and fish for subsistence, above and before anyone else, let us own land without fear of taxation. now there will the the naysayers, here it is, I’ve heard them all. we will drop you off with your bow and arrow, and see how you do! yes that one common. the other is that all the deer and rabbits were transplanted, well that is a small price to pay for all the land you aquireed, dont you think? The key is to give Natives the same opportunities, the same schooling that the majority of the population in America gets, freedom from child abuse, alcoholic parents.

I know kind of ranting now, really need to get back on topic, I am not sure everyone sees the devaluation of the Natives but the State of Alaska and the ruling Majority. I have view from a different lens than most Natives, being raised in Southern California, was quite a difference than growing up in Alaska, Native was dirty word when I was living in Anchorage, I was told it takes 4 generation to breed out the Native. I always gave as much as I got, perhaps a little more :/ I was entitled, still am, we deserve the life your taking and giving away. I have done well for myself, at least in a happy kind of way. I went for the Native hire jobs, got them kept them, worked hard learned pushed myself, had thick thick skin. I knew i was under the gun, a few of the contractors or supes, resented hiring a Native, par with the course, the worst injustice, they did? they would hire Natives, with little ability to go the job. creating token jobs. I liked working for southcentral, they had a Native foreman, Jeff, he was a cool cat. that reminds me, there are lots of good Native carpenters, Jimmy, Roy T. the list is long. I am still proud to be a Union Carpenter. well retired. where was eye, ok about to make a point, no all this corporation stuff, nonsense, it is like the whole Democrat Republican smoke screen we see day in and day out

this is about giving back, not in money, but tying to do good things, some of them I addressed above, but good in general help others get above the bad level, get them back enjoying the land, otherwise, my Native claims would be self serving. or just delete that chapter and move on, I am really conflicted, on the one hand, I can easily just deny, my Native heritage, and if they ask, why my facial hair or skin, or chinese eyes are the way they are, Ill just say, me chinese lol, I crack myself up. 🙂 wait a minute, nice try, but I think the chinese are getting a raw deal right now, with all the negative press, china is getting, hey, why they still them chinese when they become American citizens, even a few generation as Americans? are they still holding their china card? should I=start saying, Im Native American/English-American/ Scottish-American/ Icelandic-American and last but not least, Swedish-American, o and Norwegian? are they secretly spying for their former country? what about all the mexican Americans? are they ready to split back south after we are invaded by the chinese?

So, I have decided to try and be a proud Native American, whatever that entails, I will not speak out about whites, as it is not a white thing, it is a government thing, suppression of my people. that reminds me that, I am mixed, a cocktail of sorts, without a tail. ahahha jk. ok i have got to get back to work, no my point is, I have been assimilated, my offspring have also been assimilated, them even more than me, I would be very surprised if they ever called anybody a white mfker. very surprised, I would say to future generations, be proud, stand tall and be Native, it is easy to white, I know this, and you know this. Stand up for Natives, get your schooling, get everything you can from this government, because the Native culture has been stomped out long before your generation, maybe you grew up without a dad, or a drunken dad, or many other things that make it harder to make a good life, we all need to help all Natives get a good life. be the part that rights a wrong, not easy, when your sides are conflicted. I have always been told that i was a Native, so that is what I saw myself as, I mean, even with the blond hair growing up. It was an issue, a toehead and Native parents, my dad looks far more Native than me mum, yet mom has the most, only 1/4, but he grew up eating Native foods, fishhead soup, gumbos and all the foods that are Native. I wish there is some way, my children can pass the lifestyle or Native culture on to future generation, somehow, America is being Whited out, the racist are trying to take away scottish, english,norway,german, swedish, and throw them all in the same white pot, as the enemy. The Government, is our adversary, not enemy. how is it, that Natives are living without plumbing or water in much of the united states. I have been both impressed with the lower 48 Natives and perplexed. the coolest thing, you go snowboarding in the white mountains, all the workers are local Natives, pretty cool. creating jobs, the Casinos are the same, at least they creating jobs, and get to live on thier own lands, I think… not so sure, anyway, I am at the point of gifting my stock and forever turning my back on being a Native or passing on the entitlement of being one, but perhaps, I can give back to the Natives, how? htfdk


kinda rambly so my family is just one generation removed from the subsistence lifestyle, listen to granny, she shares the lifestyle mix of American/Russian/ Native from her perspective. maybe i better share a fun story.

the white man came and raped the land