All my exes live in texas:)  = 0

Overcoming personal difficulties, is difficult, I quit smoking when I was 22 years young, that was easy, I had a good reason, I had an ephiany, which lasted till  I was no longer under the control of the cigs, I never got to be an anti-smoker, or smoker hater, although I did do a report on second hand smoke in college, that reminds me, I had to do a verbal report once, on something, well I just figured I was smart enough to get by with just talking, I had been talking in AA and was not a fearful public speaker anymore, I didn’t freeze or anything embarrassing, but the teacher did call me on it, I think I got a D:)

Ahhh memories, anyway, My drinking was much different, I actually quit drinking at the sametime that I quit smoking, but that did not last, I got so drunk,  I dont remember if i smoked, and never toughed a smoke again. Drinking was a different beast, I could not stop that, I was able to make it a couple weeks, month, not much longer, and I was a wreck the whole time. then I would just veer into a liquor store and it was on, at least until I ran out of money or was thrown in the pokey.  No I needed help, I even got some anti-drinking pills, they made me nervous, and I started going to AA again, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. that is a mantra, they get you saying all these mantras. Quitting drinking has changed my life, it was God, a higher power that made the difference, the belief that We are not in control of everything, and we do not have to be! God was the key for me.

The problem with being able to quit drinking is that it leaves a void, your still the damaged corrupt human, that would drink for any and everything, drinking was my life, it was all I knew.

At first I took a healthy alternative, I would rollerblade around anchorage, the trails from midtown to Earthquake park, or the bluffs, they have a park, kincaid park, I used to go there everyday, that kept me sane and happy, but in life you can not always, or do you have the motivation to keep that up. My next drug, was food, sugar, cake, pie, anything I could stuff down my pie hole.

Food, has been the toughest of all, for one thing it is acceptable in America to be fat, or slightly obese, or even overweight, that is just a fact, I feel I get much more hate, hating on the fat life, than anything else, Being fat is a right, they seem to want to protect it too.

I am that person, the smoker that quits smoking, and all of a sudden everyone that smokes is immoral, I never was that with smoking, but food, sugar, I have have that bug.

I do not judge people that are fat, I do on here, but not in my mind, or publicly, maybe a little. I just hate that this is all thrust upon us as NORMAL

maybe if the Ukraine deal turns into World war 3, I will be proved wrong, with the bombs dropping, all of our little troubles will fade away, just like in Bad company of the same name.

Fat people will live longer, when the starvation hits, but what will they eat, when they are hiding in the hills? cacti?

This is a big struggle, I know that If I had been able to eat healthy, before the cancer,  I would not have gotten cancer, the sugar and flour, creates an environment in our bodies, that fuels all kinds of disease, that is a fact, you can take that to the scientific mask wearing public.

So, why cant we create farms, family farms, industry for the people, why is everything controlled by these Mega Corporations? why does our government subsidize them, when they are not raking in millions?

why cant we create a healthy food supply, it is hard to find healthy food, not laden with sugar, read the labels.

I know that I am vilified by writing against fat people, it is acceptable, but drug use, is not, its just another drug, slow death, costing the public much more money. I would say burn the hospitals to the ground, build new health centers. WHAT IS THE CAUSE OF YOUR PROBLEMS, maybe the shit your stuffing down your pie hole?

ok that is enough of my horshit.

dont mind me, I am an anti sugar, anti flour human, that thinks we all deserve better from our government protections, GREED GREED GREED, feed the babies, dont give them too much to eat, Ok I have work to do, I  am really hating this project, learn, learn, and then learn some more, fool me once

O k,  I had another one of my stupid epiphanies. This one, has to do with prayer, I think it is good if you ask God what you should do, but not good if you just expecting God to do for you. I mean, it is just worry without action.

being grateful is all well and good, but you need to act. Act smart, trust no one, but God, ask him the path.

blah blah blah good day to you my fine feathered friends.