OK, so I been watching Mindfulness courses again, This latest one was really good, I know it to be true, I had to look deep in into my eye. This is so Important: People react and act towards us, not because of US, but themselves, this can be so confusing. We really have to soak this up, Our thoughts, their thoughts, it is never about anything but is inside each and everyone of us.
I have seen these things, that say, we most dislike in others, which is in us. It is so true, yet so hard to swallow, like me trying to swallow bread, gets stuck in the gaping hole in my throat the surgeon cut out, anyway this is a fact in my psyche, I see what I do not like in others, I also do not like in myself. confusing as fk
The true path to happiness, is control of our thoughts, there can be nothing as important, she even mentioned one of my bad thoughts, I always think, the worst first, yes, the first thing that I think of in any situation is the worst, what can happen in the worst case scenario, now she said that is bad thinking, but I am not so sure, although it is my first assessment, I always start working backwards and calm to other possible scenarios, but let me share a for instance. my wife goes to the store, I expect she will be back in an hour, tops, well it is now 2 hours later, I text her, first thought, she cheating, next thought she got into a crash, this happens, depends on my own mood, or what I am doing, really, no lie, but eventually, I say, she is just having fun looking at stuff or maybe doing extra shopping, This is an example of course, and i can tell you that if you let one of these things run, it will take on a life of its own, next thing you know, you will add a neighbor in the scenario, or a coworker, you make up your own big old mess, then she shows up with bags and bags of groceries, now you just wasted 2 hrs of your life. this is of course an extreme example, but it happens a lot, Our own thoughts becoming part of or actions, thoughts that are born in our heads, like when I go to the store and somebody is looking at me with, stink eye, the first I think is they dont like me, or have a problem with me, yet, the truth is they may not like anyone, or they are just having a bad day, perhaps they dont like the way I look, but that really has nothing to do with me. or when my sons & daughters, ignore my text or emails, it is in their minds., of course there is the disconnect between parent child, at least of what i have seen, I had been the closest of most people on this earth was my father, and sweet mary, then my brothers, and my mother and last but not least my sister, but I am aware, that I am special, a special case, I have also come to the conclusion, we all share some of the same traits, We all get these thoughts in our head, not these specifically, but thoughts that we do not like or want, and we assume since we think these thoughts, we are bad, they are real, or we must act, or react, all of that is horeshit, bullshit, whatever kind of shit you like to say, for you with more eitiquie than this pig, you can use hogwash, I like that best, because we have to learn to wash those thoughts away. WE HAVE THE ABLITY TO CONTROL OUR OWN THOUGHTS, HUNGER, FEELINGS, we can be the masters of our Universe, which is the master of our Minds, control our minds, not mind control but get a good filter, I can tell you it is not easy, but i am feeling the effects a little at a time, I had even used this in the past, it is one thing, to think these things, than to hear someone confirm them. I want to share this with all of my family, it is life changing, We dont have to be the scared child of the past, we do not have to be controlled by our fears, experience, and our life can be truly ours. I watched this one lecture, and I wanted to send a link to all my people, but I thought, nobody wants to be told how to think, or told anything, at least me, I am much more resistant, than if I find it myself. I wish I could sell it to my brother Kelly and Gilbert, who have the same thinking patterns as I do, they are perhaps my closest clones in this life, we lived the same life, I wish I could provide for them, to help them thrive, it is good to be alive, we dont have to be controlled by our past, Nobody does. I think that is enough of my bullshit yapping for today. I have a bid to go on, and have to get back and finish these plans, still have not fixed my truck, that will be another challenge. I am working to control my wanting things and people or relationship, like with my kids, and grandkids, but must know that wanting can only bring pain, the circle of life is complex, I have only to look at my past performance to see, my parents and family took second place to living my own life, which is normal. I have to learn to accept that my happiness is all about what I think, how I choose to perceive, my failures are not about the failure, but the journey ahead