Yes, we, well at least me, needs to keep the optimistic approach to life and enjoy every moment every minute I  have on this earth.

I will be the first to admit, my mind and thinking is damaged, no way around that without a brain transplant, maybe, get the brain of a chicken, like Johnny Cash did in “chicken in Black”  great song

I know that I tend  to create scenario’s without actually having proof, or perhaps about future events, now this is a double edge sword of sorts

The approach to life, has served me well, since the days, of absolutely, thinking nothing through, except, I need money, dont black out, dont drive drunk, ect, ect.

No thinking ahead and the possible potential serves me well, in most cases, in others, it just drains my enthusiasm for doing even the most mundane of life’s pleasures, or worse, locks my thinking up into a negative spiral. I have been at this crossroads before, and change is not easy, it’s not like, ok turn that switch, and BINGO, all good, not this is a process, but one  I have had success with.

Good News, my arm is back to full motion. some pain, well lots of painful stretches, but now need to get back to  working out again, but going to add some rotator exersized s and backside shoulder strengthening, which are recommended by all the physical therapist videos  that I watcher over the last week and half. Plus these are the same exercises that I used for pitching strength!! and I have full motion, wich means, I will be mound ready in a week. might as well start throwing again, as it helps free up the rotator.

I have been aware of this ANT deal, where you stifle your negative thoughts, for quite some time, yet it is always  easy, when under some strain, either stress, or physical, that makes the ability to stifle that thinking much harder.

I guess somethings will just have to hang out in the back of my head, but not on the forefront. Sure, you can end up being blindsided, but that is far better than the emotional toll that it takes in the NOW.  damn Tinnitus, is distracting.

still praying for my cousin, Please God.

I will be back on the Bathroom remodel tomorrow, and back on my workout routine. YEAH BABY, CANT KEEP ME DOWN


Waiting for my thyroid meds to come from back East, I signed up for the mail med program at the Phoenix Medical Center.  Looks like from all the web and my book, I will have to take this T3 to my last days, although I feel pretty good now, but on a real restricted diet, that reminds me.

when I used to hang out with my older brother, John, his wife Tammie, used to make us these soft boiled eggs, they were delicous, the runny inside type, and you crack them open, best eggs ever, well after several tries, we have the perfect eggs at 3-1/2 min, put in at a full boil, I thought they used to call them 1 min eggs, but they were still raw at one min.  and at 4 min overcooked. I had forgotten how to eat them too. I was trying to peel them, well that was a pain in the arse, but still taste, yet not easy or fun, I then thought we used to just crack them in half, and guess what? WoooLAH, it worked and spoon out the Taste yellow and white parts. I am eating free range brown ones, the yolks are so much darker and they taste better.

That got me to thinking about my older brother, I know I had perhaps, illuminated him in a not so bright light, but it was far from that, he was my role model, I remember growing up in Santa Clarita after my parents divorce at 10, and he was the only Male role model that I had, and  in a way a mentor, sure there was some blemishes, but I would not trade them for all the tea in China, as a trade for all the good experiences.

I remember, this one time, I had this habit of putting two fingers over my nose, it was odd, I know, but he put a stop to that, and then there was the skipping, you know like the girls do, after all, I was being raised by my mother.  he put a stop to my skipping, that would not have ended well :/

The there was the dirt bikes, as in dirt motorcycles, that was the most fun.  he used to take me on the back of his sach penton 125, as I remember beiung on back hanging on for dear life, will all my trust in him, he never once crashed, which I can not say for myself, as If I had a nickname, it would be “crash” I then got a yamaha 90 and we could go on rides all over and even to the dunes, not sure if it is open anymore.

When I got older, I got to hang out with all his cool friends, they were all older and cooller, Janet house, Mark Bohac, Ernie Johnson, Danny Rodriguez, Steve Mushaney, Lance Riggen, Donnie ?? forgot his last name, was shot by “his” older brother Mike, anyway, they made me feel a part of group.

He then Married Tammie Johnson, and that began a whole new family connection, we got to be in the Wedding, and those are some of my most cherished pictures. such good fun, worry free, party days, not I would not trade that for all the tea in CHINA, I am sure that is what had given me much of the confidence, that I have to this day.

I also remember they used to have 1/4 drag races down whites Canyon, I think he even raced Craig Shumard, one time, lost, as Craigs, dad Owned a Car shop, I will go into the Canyon Country life in more detail, as the motivation hits me.

We then moved to Washington State, This was dark times for me, for one thing, my nice golden brown skin was replaced with a yellow color, and my nice blond hair, became almost a red brown hamster color, hahah It was a shock going from, being in the spotlight, to be in the rain, or sidelined as a dork. that and the rain, after growing up in Sunny Southern California, Washington rain, is not for the happy go lucky surfer type. We even brought a surfboard with us, not sure where we got it…

During this time, I also met my two favorite cousins and my favorite Aunt, Grace, Raylene, and Auntie Stella. Between hanging out with T&T and my cousins, they were the only bright spot of my time in Washington, o wait, that is a bald face lie, I can not go without mentioning, my cousin Steve Markey, Jennifer Markey, Baz Markey and  my Uncle Fred. I think I mentioned my Uncle, more on him later. I did have some good friends too, which made life much better, but it was a lot harder making friends in Washington. There was my best friend for sometime, Joe Roach, Brian Amend, Kenny Snyder were also good friends from those days, and they were popular, especially Brian, the girls swooned, it was a different spot for me, playing second fiddle:) but we had lots of fun. I have more stories later. honorable mention John Roach RIP, and Tom Worth.  o and…. what was his name sigler, there were lots of other people, who were nice to me too, not much on the girl  front, see above for explanation on that :/

ok enough babbling for today, off to the Native Market