I have to admit, I trust nobody on this earth, I know that is dark and kinda sad, but true. I also know that I am perhaps a fool to share such a thing.  Maybe it is what I get, my penance for a life devoted to the pursuit of fun and happiness.

My question to myself, what do I need to even trust anyone with? well that is the point, I really have nothing to need to trust anyone with.  My problem? self created for sure.

my problem is that, I see people, I see them for what they are, for what we all are. We live in these shells, confined within these bodies, with so much external stimuli, it often overrides our sense of selves. well that was me in the past.

I like to call them my spidey senses. I try to turn them off, they see through the fog of people, they see the experessions, the words… the motive, and most of the time, it is self serving, not that I am any better, to the contrary, I am just as human as the next, but it gives you insight to yourself, when you make a profound effort to see through the eyes of others.  YES IT has to be that way.

doing this, not only gives you knowledge, but perspective, and a better understanding of people, you can see the hurt of others, the damage, the anger, and guess what?  this is their burden, not mine, this is theirs, I have my owns. I embrace mine, as  medicine.

I know I waste much of my thought on how the world should be, or my perception of how it should be, based on what I hear and watch, and personal experience. Wasted thought perhaps, a wasted thought, instead of focusing on how things really are, you turn yourself off the many things when you get caught up in the how things Ought to be…  I know that, yet I persist.  I have known, since the days of little league. when the father of our team the phillies, played his kids at shortstop, all the best spots, Mr. Thomas, he was a policeman, hopefully a good one.  we were just kids, but I knew I was better. that did not matter, I did get some satisfaction in the ensuing years, I played for Mr. Arispe and the Giants, we won 2 championships, he made baseball fun.  We were not punished for missing a gounder, “hit the fence”  that meant you had to run to the fence and back.  anyway.

yeah life is not fair. you can not cry over spilled milk, it does not good, I know it is a waste of time. sure were a cancer on this earth, anyone who thinks otherwise, well you are ignorant. we are sheep and our society is controlled by people with more money than anyone could ever spend. their biggest trick, to divide and conquer and all the sheep get caught up in it, me included.

oops, I stray

God is always there, I am not alone, although I feel alone with people, I can always feel his hand on my shoulder. not in verse or words, but in spirit. It has been my true solace

Trust in God, its on the dolla,  in God we trust, I Like Trust in God better.

I have no reason to need anyone to trust, It serves me better to keep an eye out for false pretense. the clues of people. nobody can hide the clues. inspector detector

So there is this saying among family genealogist, we see dead people, all my friends are dead people. that is true, we are here because of dead people. we will all be dead people.

so my trust in society and humans has forever been broken, o there are sparks of good humanity, but the greed of life overrides the truth. let me share a few hot topics at my own peril

abortion:  I do not believe in abortion as a frivolous thing that can be done, as birth control, especially when there is birth control, I do believe that is necessary in rape, insest orother extenuting circumstances. when children are allowed to have abortions without their parents, this is a hot topic.  Parental rights?  this is at the core of the problem, for one thing, why is this child getting pregnant? We need to assign blame. Yes blame is good, when you are getting to the bottom of the problem.  Who is responsible for this child?  the parent had this child, but the parent did not create the society in which this child was created. This is a very gray area,  this will get the hackles  of all sides up.   I am going to say without reservation, that this is a bigger issue, that rides down to child rights, human rights at its core. Is this child the property of the parents, or do we as a society, have the responsibility to ensure this child is well educated and safe from the ills of society? the front lines on all of socital ills are born at this level.  I know this is a critical and who makes the decisions, I think it is fair to say, that every child deserves a chance at a happy life, regardless of their stature in life.  yet this is not the case. ok enough of my babble, but I will say this, all the gun violence, domestic violence, all of the problems we face, are born at this level.