Why ask why? I dont really know, but I have always wanted to learn more, not just something, or enough, I have always went overboard in my learning more, maybe it was a book my mom got me when I was younger,  it was how things work or something of that nature.

But that was not the start of me questioning our culture or world, our existence, no that came with my cancer, I admit, I was just another drone, a meaningless cog in a world of cogs.

There have always been hints, like the Marijuana issue, especially me being a drunken fool, consistently doing stupid shit, under the spell of booze. Nothing has gripped my life like the drink. smoke some pot, I turned into a catatonic bumbling boob, but after the first wave wore off, I could drive or do anything that my mechanical auto bot could do not high. maybe more away. still dumb and numb, yes, but I was not going to go out and get offended by someone and decide to fight, or have sex with some bar girl, no I most likely was going to stay put and think, think real hard, feel very insecure, but do stupid shit, Nada.

Even my more recent foray into the cannabis, I knew it was a patch, for a leaky hole, nothing more, even though of all the Pills it was the one thing that provided relief from the Chemo therapy, with little side effects, except near the end, it tasted like garbage, like smoking paper. this Evil weed was vilified by our Government, when in fact it should be our Government, that needs to vilified.  I must have had 20 pills at one time or another during treatments. none of them worked, except the liquid morphine, (not sure what it was but it was red and like kool aid) and the steroids, the rest just gave me side effects, they were awful, I now think the Chemo was given to me for profit of the hospital, just like the stomach deals and the other non useful shit they did. hindsight baby hindsight

One thing that I had found in many studies not just one, but many. fasting during radiation and chemo, increases its effectiveness, this is common knowledge, yet me bing at one of the most prestigious hospital networks in America, this was never brought up. I was brushed off at the mere mention of it. I fasted well into the middle of treatment, had I known, what I know now, I would have been able to fast without as many side effects, using electrolytes to maintain energy. I did know that the pursuit, recommended healthy shakes, blended meat and vegetables, but as I weakened, the sweet cravings took over and had strawberry milk shakes, with real strawberries, but ice cream was not a good idea.  the sugar layden product the hospital was hawking was a nasty concoction of sugar and useless fuels. no electrolytes, just sugar to “keep my weight up”.  bullshit. HOSPITALS are MONEY MACHINES, the keep building these MEga hospitals on false pretense, of helping people, when in fact, they are nothing more than profit machines. I am also finding that most of these integrative Medical practitioners are nothing more than smoke and mirror carnival  tricksters, Their is not way, that al these products are miracle cures, at 20, 30 or 5o bucks a pop for their miracle cures, bullshit.  my advice to you, if your feeling sick, quit stuffing your face.

we all know the skinny person, that looks like shit, anemic, weak, and always tired. what does he eat, probably dog shit food, I see them eating donuts and all the crap we know is bad.  One thing I do know, my body needs nutrients, not just food.

I have a bunch of bottles of miracle pills, and I am beginning to think, they are just plastic with snake oil in them. yeah, and the studies, wellt they only study shit that people pay for, the pharma big business, things that make a profit.  Harvard, you think that would be a good place to start? yeah if you pay them, they will give you information that they have gleamed from studies, I get emails from them almost as much as Dicks Sporting Goods, with hits 70 percent off, yet when you go there, nothing is 70 percent off, except useless shit nobody wants, Harvard does the same bullshit. here is a cure, but you have to pay for it. Where does Harvard get its money, from our government.

We the people are so far into this culture of poison, that getting out is tantamount to being up to your eyeballs in quicksand and deciding its time to get out.

We have been fed bullshit forever.

How can we deprive our children of the same pleasures we grew up with? for me it was cheese cake, o how i loved some good cheese cake with the that strawberry goo on top, or blueberry.

or my granny, she made these blueberry muffins, they were layden with sugar and blueberries, it was nirvana. My mom used  to make these Kalich, or some word russian perhaps,  made in coffee cans, it was dry, sometimes real dry bread, but it has frosting all over it, I remember just licking the frosting off. I was notorious for just eating the good stuff,  I got in trouble in junior high for sneaking off campus to buy a fruit pie, those pies that were filled with sugar and fruit flavor, we drank pop like it was water, the fishing tenders brought out cases of the sweet concoction. then ther is hollow ween, bags of candy. we still pass it out here, even though I will not touch it. 2/3 of Americans are overweight. we live where being fat is more normal than being optimal. so if your not overweight, your not normal. so eat up buttercup.

I had completely given up processed meats, except an occasional bacon or taste, but it disgust me now, I could eat a whole pack, thinking it was good food, probably better than  capt crunch, but not much.

I have a cousin, she posted recently about soylent green, it was a charlton heston movie, in which the planet is starving and they are feeding people soylent green, it ends up that soylent green is people eating other people.

There is some push to create some food, that is manufactured that has all the omega 3 and all the healthy things our bodies need, which the farms are not producing anymore, because the soil is depleted.

my take?  THEY WILL NOT CREATE A HEALTHY WAY OF LIFE, UNLESS THE RICH CAN MONETIZE IT, it will never include WE the people, it will only be we the people as pawns.

I guess my take is to survive this bullshit life. I know I can not change it. I can not even get my own family to eat healthy. have a fucken cup cake.

Really I have nothing to worry about, not for me… I will be long dead when the lifestyle of todays children are manifesting in cancer and heat attacks. I wish I wish, well if i have shit in one hand and a wish in the other, I have a handful of shit

ok, so I went a little dark, this is life  or death.  yeah doctors and pharma, can keep you alive until your 80,but you will be fat and useless,  good luck with that

if you have caner now, please get your body inhospitable to cancer. Lots of people have CTC’s circulating in their bodies, they just waiting for your system to let them grow, stress or whatever. circulating tumor cells, they can actually test for these, I was rebuffed by my doctors. the truth, you can kill them with diet, and a good body ph. The more I learn, the more I feel in the dark. the more I learn, the more I think we are a bad species. what good are we, for our own benefit? its not for the human race, as we are proving that is not the case. our own personal enjoyment?  maybe it is best to just stick our heads in a religious hole, or a political party, to be blind to Our Wolds trajectory. I know this cat, just wants to survive, as long as I can,  but I can wish for a better life for this planet and its people, but in my heart, I know we live in a shit world, which will only get worse, if mankind, Americans rich nations WE the people quit bickering about trivial life bullshit and make a better world. take care of this earth and all of its creatures, not just the Elite humans

unless the rich can monetize it