Richard on the Side2020-12-29T08:48:37-07:00

Being tired feels so good, it makes doing nothing a good time, somtimes being bored out of your mind, is a good thing

Well got the roof framed and almost ready for inspection, I do need to rethink my business model, breaking even is not as desired as you would expect :/ I read this article in JLC light Construction about billing cost plus, and I think that is the way I need to go, this and charging for estimates, I have been using square ft pricing and it works, until they change all the variables. that is work, I am thinking about posting on my 2tribes site about this last project.  I am pretty much breaking even, only without being able to pay myself, but cover my expenses to  live on this earth, and not new tools, I did have to buy a new Sawzall, or reciprocating saw, cuz I dropped me old one, a few two many times, the last one cracked its skull, well its [...]

The Native conspiracy, be white or die

I have this recording of my granny on my phone, she talks of marrying her own kind, this has been something that has been floating around in my brain for quite some time. My mon married her own kind, my dad was at least part Native, and it turns out Scandinavian & Scottish  too.  they did not last long, well if you ask them, they last a long long time, 10 years, Ive been married over 30 years, wow, that is a grand thing. that someone, anyone could stand me for more than a few years, you know, my longest job, was 2 years, so for me, it is a milestone. ok I have concocted a conspiracy theory, ok so it is as crazy as old Erik Ollestead. Ok the backdrop is derived from that old hillbilly working at the Alaska Native hospital who said [...]

Eye Sea a lot of sadness

We choose what we see. when I am about and about I try to see happy people, yet most of the time, the happy people are far and fleeting, is this the face of our lives? our own perceptions can be misleading, yet I can not shake the feeling we are all doomed to life life of robots. unhappy and always wanting more, please sir, can I have some more, one of my favorite quips for a poor london kid begging for some food. I am trying to wonder why eye see sad people, is this because they are sad?  are we all under this supervision or restraint of the populous? the popular views? I'm going to give to much information in these next clips, because I am losing my ability to give a rats ass. really, what is this all for if we are [...]

one week of work makes one weak

my fingers hurt my toe throbs after a week of  roof framing, it went well, got the gable fascia installed, just need to do the eaves, took longer than expected, but I tried to make everything true and straight, looks good. I feel good but me body is tired, it feels good, real good actually, I can not imagine just laying around and trying to feel good, just dont see it.   So I had a conniption, or shit fit bout just bullshit. sometimes I have no idea what drives me, I do know that I have to make sure to keep my composure, sometimes a quip is more than just a quip. The truth, I have a lot of baggage, stuff that I have been carrying around for years, it is the reason I have no problem drawing upon it to induce anger  and [...]

heading up to rainville hahaha just kidding Washingtonians, be nice to see the Emerald State again

I been busy as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. started the framing, been focused, keep forgetting my camera to make videos, next week, anyway hit a snag of sorts, a couple of days ago after getting the beams all up and framed in, I got home, tired but feeling good, but while the shower, I noticed something in my eye, it would not wash out, it was really pesky and painful, anyway I been focus on the framing and gitn er done. I went the next day and was doing pickup bull this and my eye was killing me, mostly when I looked a certain way, I ended up quitting early and heading to the Indian hospital, lucky for me they had an opening at the Salt river clinic, I raced over, but at the building,  it said "Clinic Closed"  anyway [...]

more than a feeling

yes, more than a feeling, I wonder if birds worry about thier next meal, or do they just go out and get it? I wonder because you dont see to many fat birds 🙂 at least too fat to fly. I broke my fast, well.. kinda I had dinner with my sister and brother in law, I think that is what they are, my wifes brother and his wife?    all these damn labels, anyway i have just thought of him as my wife's  brother. WE had some Mexican food, it was pretty good, overcooked the meat, but better safe than sorry, I usually get the fajitas, pretty healthy unless you eat the tortilla. I have been also eating some macadamia's and sardines in olive oil. feel pretty good, got back to my pre fall from grace weight. I really want to get down to [...]

switching gears

Ok, last night was the first night without the crazy legs, I did use a heating pad, more convenient than a soak. I switched to the old atkins fat fast, which included an avocado, small can of red salmon, macadamia nuts and a nice guzzle of organic milk, but still fasting, well actually I am mostly on a 4 to 8 fast, which means only eating during those hours.  not problem, easy peasy. except need my coffee fix 4 to 8 cups a day. I will try to keep the keto aspect for awhile until I lose a few more pounds. maybe take a hike today. I should work on the pavers, but not as much fun as being out on the trails. I have come to a apex of an epiphany, ahah aI know it improper:/ The News might as well be the National [...]

might as well be talking to the moon, is this normal?

what is normal, I guess it is different for everyone. you every ask someone a question, and they ignore It?   I think that means fk off, at least in my tiny brain. what are some people afraid of? hurting your feelings by saying the wrong thing? I dont know about you, but I would rather someone just say beat it fuck off. why waste you time and my time? so many questions Anyhoo, well I am on day 4 of my fast, yesterday was a little tough, I was getting hunger pangs, they only last a sec or two, but come back unless I trick them with some; turmeric laced with chicken broth, or some hot cinnamon water; or a bite of some ginger, all these help get over the hump; also had a scoop of organic wheat grass powder,  that is not  a real [...]

here today, gone tomorrow..

We all come with an expiration date, but unlike milk or credit cards, we have no Idea when our time will come. Gordon Puller recently passed away, I did not know him personally, but more as a Native leader in the Kodiak community,  I remember seeing him on planes headed into the emerald island. He chose the tribal route in Native affairs, which was behind the scenes more than the "Corporate Natives"  which I suppose comes with  a lot less feuding and posturing to make the big time. Condolences to Gordon, he seemed like a good person:(

prisoner of my own passions

I dare not, I do not, yet I do My mind is a fickle monster. I have to come to the big Picture, soak it in, become one with the picture. that is Nobody wants to be told how to think, how to feel, how to eat, they need to find that on themselves, I am powerless to help the world, it gives me anguish to no end. I have recently been under siege, my condition, crazy legs, increased calorie consumption, feeling stress, lack of sleep. So it was time for a reset, that includes a saltwater flush, clean out that Colon, i have done this for years, sometimes year apart, but it always cleans out the tubes. I remember the first time, I was over 200 lbs, probably 210 or so,not my fattest, but fat enough to feel like shit most of the time, [...]

the race to be or not to be a racist

We have so many label for everyone, we are just that way, in our minds, we just label people, off the bat. I think if instead of looking for something different, we should look for things that we share in common.      

We all live in a yellow submarine

Well I found a good book, it is called "the Power of now" written by Eckhart Tolle, it is a guide to a life of mindfulness. I have a pile of books to read, but this one has gone to the top of the list, he writes clearly about a difficult subject, our own minds. To be able to control oneself in this topsy turvy world can be difficult if not impossible.  We are bombarded with media, news and just useless information. to find the truth, you must seek the truth, even then, it can be a quagmire to navigate to an honest answer, who do we trust?  I say nobody, the news, for sure not, the American politicians? absolutely NOT, the Russian Oligarchs? no way, they all have money we working humans could only dream of pissing away, all the while spending it on [...]

EGO trip baby, I am on an EGO trip jK

short so the Ego is not a good thing, I know this, yet it is part of who I am. We are our Ego, like the peacock, who ruffles his feathers, I know to keep it in check, but without some personal bravado, not at the expense of others, but some personal triumph, I dont think I could have, or would have done most of my life, I would be living  somewhere or nowhere, but not the same, even the one-eyed man has to have some ego, or sense of self worth. mine cam from fighting, sleeping around and using my brain. I know that my Ego is me, but not me. confused, I am at times, try living in me brain I used to call my organ brain, as I followed him wherever:) I remember being in the carpenter school, when I started out, [...]

h8tful christians? are they the lost tribe of Jesus?

I was reading some facebook post, mostly I try not to get into judging other peoples thinking, except on here, my safe place :/ yeah right! So any hoo, there is an awful lot of post how, christians, at least, they proclaim to be in the know. They are saying without christ you are no good, or words to that effect. Now i AM no christian scholar for sure, but that was the reason Christ was crucified, for believing different than the Romans. This rings of some crazy Christian like David Koresh, Jim Jones, charley Manson and Keith Raniere just to name a few, to me jesus was about forgiveness and  love this smacks of low self esteem, to me. how can anyone be so inclined to believe, do they even know the history of their own religion? I have decided, as time allows to [...]

but im tired.. I seen his face, I knew it was NO, now you kinda funny too

Well I am tired for sure, just paid 4 grand to home depot, that is hard, but at least I can pay it, and have most of the lumber I need, I am probably making Alaska Apprentice wages at this point, like brother gilbert likes to say, working for peanuts. well its all me own faults, I know this, I was pretty cocky, I could build a garage for that price, well, I can, but not much left over after paying the price butchers, just osb alone went from 13 bones to above 50, and they have no shortage of supply, Home depot is stocked to the brim. never seen so may tools and lumber, same with the tool houses, its all a fucken greed grab, just like gas and all the bullshit, the concrete companies are putting the screws in too, well they want [...]

lonely days are gone, I’m a going home

This is from a song, but this post had me thinking, it was in a facebook stoic group, which like all groups are more about Ego than learning, anyway this practicing stoic says, he has been practicing his stoicism and believes it leads to loneliness, I was taken aback, as this was the same thinking I had embraced, at least his we die alone, are born alone and live alone in our own thinking, yes I believe so, but the lonely part was perplexing, I started to respond on several attempts, but ultimately declined. I am lonely in my thoughts at times, but unless we are all robots, which would be akin to an ant colony, at least my perceived view of ants, and ant colonies. We have to learn to stand alone, it is imperative, it is a trait that makes us human. loneliness [...]

cant hit the broadside of a bar 🙂

I am afraid it is true, took my new to me browning bar 30-06 to the range yesterday, started out at 25 yards, missing down 3 and 3 to the right, well made some adjustments, and it was trouble for me, it was crowded and had not wrench, unbeknownst to me, I had put the scope  on wrong, my elevation was on the windage side, but I had no Idea what was going on, anyway, I was able to get on the target at 100 yards, but only by moving my aim around, that and the assholes next to me were either aiming their spent shells at me on purpose or just some more inconsiderate dumb humans, I had an urge to punch the fat one in the belly, and yell at the other 2, but that would have done nothing for my cause. It [...]

Pawn stars, we all are pawn stars

Finding the truth in our society is near impossible for me... Ok, so this Ukraine War is Biden war, him and his son Hunter, that is the far right, the capitol stormers take on why Joe has such a personal interest. All this is bullshit, WE are just Pawns in a mud slinking war between Democrat/ communist and republican/ Nazis  their sole motivation for all of this is a smokescreen of what is really going on. What I am implying is that it is all bullshit. Covid: Bullshit Masks: bullshit  war in Ukraine: bullshit  Afghanistan: bullshit  Inflation: bullshit  shortages: bullshit. there is more to come, mark my word, the puppet masters are not done yet, they plan some new world order, a cold war? I have no Idea, but something much different, we are looking at heading into a massive recession, that I know, it [...]

nice day of rest

had a good nap yesterday, my knee has started to heal, or the inflammation is going away. I am reminded of my age when these things happen, I often think that we get warning signs of our ultimate demise, a friendly reminder to relish the life we have left on this wonderful planet. its going to be a nice sun shiny day, looking forward to working on my tan. love getting the Vitamin D, I feel so alive when I am in the sun working or playing. I am starting to wonder if I should ever leave this valley, well I do not want to spend summers here. I need to win the lottery and then I can build summer cabins in all my favorite places Washington Alaska maybe even Denver, but it is land locked, I do miss boats. the smell of the Ocean, [...]

Darkness of the light

let the light in, close out the dark. I had an ephiany today, we are like birds, dogs, and all animals, we are animals, but we do not have to be. Maybe it is a better life to be  bird or dog. To be self aware, means we have to look at our lives, all lives, our species. where do I fit in? what is it all for? are we a good thing? We are of earth, we are earthlings. (Big smile)  I like being an earthling, an aware earthling, aware of my own minute status amongst our universe and beyond, just like Woody's friend Buzz lightyear, to Infinite and beyond. smelling the roses for me, just looking around at all the colors and saying I am alive, look at all the pretty colors and people, milling around just like birds, unaware of life the [...]

going to Seattle

yes, next month we are Seattle bound for a weekend.  Sweet Mary is talking about going to Seattle for my 60th birthday, I really want to go to Anchorage for my MOMS 80th birthday, this July, never heard anything about my new GC  on graduation, better to not think or interject myself, I think I tried enough, it is good enough, that  a heathen such as me is even acknowledged :/ Just kidding, not a heathen, just have my own brain and way of thinking about truth justice and the American way. sometimes I amused, even me ownself 🙂 my mom is selling her Condo, but I did the Comps, and it looks like she is not going to sell at her hard point.  perhaps 250, but it is worth a try. hopefully I can make enough shekels to go see her 😉

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