Well well where have I been, working thinking stinking dinking around. I am still trying to get a handle on my own self. I think therefore I am.
So I did 2 garages and a patio cover this last year, I just finished the latest garage, turned out good, but I can always do better. you know I continue to improve, I see my faults to a fault. I can do better and I will.
So I am formulizing a plan…. they say you should not share your plans. well mine are seat of the pants hairbrained anyway lol love to say those old sayings hair brained schemes hahahahha just cracks me up. I need mo money. if I could only get a garage, well maybe something better, like an addition. garages are tricky, I learned the hard way after 5 or more builds. for one thing all the concrete has to be finished and level and sloping. has to be pretty most of all.
anyhoo. So I have 5 kids, I think about this often johnny the baby lives with me and sweet Mary. is this the end for me? I often think about my demise, lately thinking if im not careful I could get whacked. maybe been watching too many crime shows. it feels good to just type whatever comes in to my pretty head, lol
as I march slowly toward the reaper I think about what is missing, I need more delightful times with my people, all of them. adventures or whatever I can muster. It is nice having a team at home in the desert, but we are far removed from my destiny, which is not the desert, I know now I do not belong here. nor do I want to belong. sure the long nice winters are nice. the lack of the Ocean, the people are not of mine. a fish out of water, yet I still thrive, thanks to the tenacity of sweet Mary. a prisoner in my own home, locked in between hateful neighbors, always watching eyeing, dirt in the pool kind of people. yes I feel their angst toward the eskimo. I dont care, but who want to live like this boxed in. my recent job was in gold canyon, nice that most of the homes have a decent buffer, not wall to wall homes. too many humans. at least the russian has stopped his full day peeping tom stalking for now. as I write this I wonder if anyone will read it and think richard is out of his mind. yes I am, trying to purge the deamons. o on a better note. the birds the wonderful birds :)
so where are the rest of my children. I think about the native stock and how it will go to non natives. wiped out of existence. Our kids are not having kids. wow what a turn of events. it is devastating, but it is their lives, my whole existence has been about procreation, create life that is good for the planet. what can be a better purpose in life than to create good lives of the planet for the planet. if only the bad people make babies, the world will be bad. I know I am all over the place.
well I have to take the dogs on their GO I have purpose it is clear to me, but how to get there is not so clear, to make it without damnation or poison. no never will I submit to the reaper freely. I mean lifes relationship murders of hurting others, I am like a doctor ahhaha ok not, but I have pledged to do no harm. accept life as it is, not as I want it to be, or think it should be. is that good enough to spur your mind? I really love writing this rabble. I should do more programed writing, yet it is such a chore. I want to suffer just not under other humans suffer in nature is my ultimate goal to the end of my time.
