Richard on the Side2020-12-29T08:48:37-07:00

welcome to my new host: dream host

That leads me into my first story, dreaming, what are we dreaming of? I see dead people, well they alive in dream, but their time has passed, this week, Don Vinberg, I fished for him on the Dee Donna J, best fishing ever, best Capt. and crew, my dad was on the corks, Norman Kasheveroff and Mike Cash were in on Deck, I was the skiff monkey, with a prodigal son Randy, something or another, his dad was some big shot skipper, as I recall, The s0ns of the skippers, were often the elite fisherman, never longing to get on a highlander, but born into a solid fishing career, perhaps as some of my family, my brother Tollak, was born into the Carlough regime.  These fisherman had fishing in their veins, but the sons of Captains, like Dj and Randy, very hardcore fisherman, I remember [...]

is it generational or or older people irrelevant?

Crazy old man, that is what I will be if I live to be a hundred, that is for sure, but at 58, and  spry and healthy, can it be the perception of me now? How far out can I be, for me, it is a question of, to be or not to be I am a baby boomer, We have generations of family alive right now, from the baby boomers  to the current generation of Gen Alpha, wow so many Generations, I thought my father was from the baby boomers, but before us there was the Silent Generation, maybe because they made the Natives, silent, not sure, it also incudes me mum, and well she not silent, but she does not know of lick of Native and she is almost half, my sister is in the Generation X, My children are all  Millennials, I [...]

Its A Miracle Pill, or is it?

I grew up pretty much ingesting any drug or drink, that I could get my hands on, including PCP, crank, cocaine, and LSD, thankfully for me, I was too poor to be able to buy them on any regular basis, and except for beer, never got hooked, but  when I quit drinking, I learned that pills can help ease the  stresses and rigors of life, I actually used a pill when I successfully was able to quit the sauce, once and for all, this was prescribed by a doctor. It worked very good, although, I never actually drank, once I started taking it, it was not anti-abuse, as that may not have worked, and would  been more of a challenge, but this was my successful, to this day AA adventure, I had tried before, but never did the 90 meeting in 90 days, and it [...]

fond memories of Kodiak, the Emerald Island

Kodiak, had become a kind of refuge over the years, the best of times, the worst of times, actually mostly the best of times, what adventures I have had on that magical island. from our first experiences of set netting in Uganik, with my parents to fishing solo with my pops, and another trip with my brother tollak on a submarine type craft, they called it a jitney, it was pretty much just a power skiff, with a shell, but this story Is more of the characters along the way. Ted Pestrikoff, lived in a small cabin our in Uganik, his home now owned by others, he rowed us home, when pops went to the cannery, that is a nice journey for an older gent, but he people of kodiak are not of the same breed as normal humans, more like suped up humans, fisherman, [...]

what eye am up to? 5’10 1/4″ still….

Well I got the jOhnson and johnson vaccine on 3.31.21 about 2 weeks ago, time flies when your having fun, looks like they recalled it, or paused it, I did notice, my smell had become blunted, yet I still smelled the dog, I have an acute olfactory sensory system, so it was a little discerning, but it is back. Most of  the effected by the blood clot deal are younger women, so not a big worry, be the shits, if I died from a vaccine to protect me from a perhaps benign virus, at least to me, perhaps, not sure. But all is well in my health world, as long as I eat little and exercise, my symptoms seem to be abated, perhaps, one day I will find the right doctor or test to pinpoint my medical issues, oir I will just suddenly die... that [...]

who can we trust, Trust In God

I have to admit, I trust nobody on this earth, I know that is dark and kinda sad, but true. I also know that I am perhaps a fool to share such a thing.  Maybe it is what I get, my penance for a life devoted to the pursuit of fun and happiness. My question to myself, what do I need to even trust anyone with? well that is the point, I really have nothing to need to trust anyone with.  My problem? self created for sure. my problem is that, I see people, I see them for what they are, for what we all are. We live in these shells, confined within these bodies, with so much external stimuli, it often overrides our sense of selves. well that was me in the past. I like to call them my spidey senses. I try to [...]

The Obama files all over again 🙁 hopefully this is temporary

Well, so far it is the same thing that happened when Obama was elected, the jobs I am bidding are mostly shysters,  I got one bid to paint a house, which ended up being a complete scam, they even sent a fraudulent down payment, another from a hillbilly who was trying to repair his patio, it was built wrong, and he wanted me to build it wrong again, "he could do it himself, but he wanted to have fun on the lakes" yea right, I told him, his design was flawed and I was not interested.  the list goes on and on. yesterday I get a call about some site work, they had no plan, he had some big ideas, told me I needed a d6, which is a heavy duty machine, blah blah blah. I agreed to see it, the address he  sent was [...]

My Anguish, my life, not to be liked, perhaps understood? perhaps self understanding, finding NEMO

What makes me tick?  I wonder at times, well I know it is me ticker, but more than that, what drives me forward. Self Awareness can be a long journey, I mean looking back at times in  my life, what was driving me?  from an early age, the only real driver was self preservation, that was done by muting my feelings, the feelings around me with former favorite concoction Booze. I am not sure I could have survived without it. looking back it was my friend. Everytime I took that first drink, the world looked rosey, I was suddenly optimistic about life, even though I had no Idea, how the night would end. That one moment, I was normal. I loved going on drinking binges, after choking down that first drink in the morning after drinking all night, I was again normal and ready to [...]

friends, what are they, here are mine…

The first friend that I can ever remember was Steve Benson, we lived in Hawthorne California, we lived in a small bungalow type house, they lived in the same homes, I think, not sure maybe ask me mom. He has passed a few years ago, heart attack, before I ever got to see him, he lived on the west side of phoenix, I went to his funeral, it was sad, his brother and parents were already dead. I could have reached out better, in the old days, I would reach out to people, happy go lucky I was, my trust of humans has been forever lost. I could have brought him to meet my dad again, his dad and mine were drinking buds, I think. Steve Benson, he remembered coming out to Castaic lake, he called it bee lake, there is and was lots of [...]

Church a sanctuary a place of JOY

Joy to the World.  I am not sure if the last post had made the impression that I am anti-church or religion, to the contrary, there is something great about singing the praises of and celebrating faith, so much power in music.  The positive energy created when a group can sing and dance and worship, that is Awesome, maybe a few words, the fewer the better, Children and Dogs learn by positive affirmations, when you put self doubt in peoples minds, you create confusion.  Some people are born the way they are, or molded that way, to try and break the mold in an hour service is, well far fetched. The power of having God on your side, that one simple thought, can bring relief and joy.  God accepts everyone, not just the church people. Going to church or studing the verse or whatever does [...]

Happy Easter today, or happy easter bunny day

Easter, I remember growing up and looking forward to easter, my mom would make Easter bread, we would have a special dinner, and when we were young we would get Easter baskets, and when my parents were still married we went to church. Easter, what is it?   is it bunny day, or it it the celebration of the rise of jesus ascending to heaven after being crucified? Admittingly, I am a minimalist Christian, and have been accused of being somewhat of a pagan, by other church going "christians" I have no answer for why we are here, not one, of my own accord, but I believe with all my heart that there is a God, that we are not just some primordial ooze, that popped out of the mud, nope not buying the whole thing, maybe I am just an optimist, but I do believe. [...]

maybe cancel the new york times,

we had switched from the local repetitive rag to the more proven New York times, the problem, our  delivered paper is thrown under the car, on purpose. the same monkey that deliverd our other paper, thinks it is cute to throw the paper under the cars. but it is pesky, I try to say at least i'm staying limber 🙂 and really how can you blame him, he does a child's job, and poorly,  just pesky, just thought of that since am going out to get it, have a great day happy easter bunny day. tomorrow or he has risen day, whatever floats your boat

Manufactured Rasizm, is alive and well

I have no idea what they are thinking. none zilch So there is the Dr hymen, he wrote a book the Pegan diet, it is actually decent, but it tries to copy shit hat is not good for you, you will never copy a real pancake forget it. learn to eat different. But that is not my rant. My rant is they had this black lady on about the racist food system, this is clear manufactured race h8t, perpetrated by others, Sure maybe they have some issues, but the whole problem has nothing to do with race, THIS IS GREED GREED GREED, any people who run around saying the "whites are racist" are delusional, stupid to the core. YOU are being mislead, everybody is being mislead. The whole food system is flawed, it is based on profit, nothing else,  this is not race based, that [...]

got my shot, not at the title, but in the ARm J&J one shot deal

Ok, I got vaccinated, had been worried since this whole virus thingy came out,  Since the Cancer I do not know what my body is up to. I  tend to keep  away from people and do not like being that close to strangers as a general rule. I have given a few hugs, not to strangers. everyone has their personal space, mine is bigger than most, i like to keep at least sucker punch distance, LOL It is true, mater of fact, have not been sucker punched much over the years, because of that rule,  a couple of times in crowded bars, but  being drunk, my personal space was not working no, I was never the chest bumping idiots you see, or argueing at close range, dumb idea.  So I got the shot and I will be protected in 28 days. but need to get [...]

Mind expansion, my project… ME

I have undertaken two new learning adventures, the Guitar and photography, slowly but surely, learning 4 chords right now, my fingers are getting better at not dampening strings practice is the key, still working on the switching, it is funny how one min, I do great, the next time, cant seem to hold or switch, muscle memory, guitar was one of the things I had always said "I am no good at that"" well just like anything else I wanted to learn, I have not let peoples opinion of my lack of skills or natural talent to dissuade me from continuing, as in singing, I have always been told I cant sing, well I can learn to sing too, it just takes motivation and practice, I even found a college course that will help you find your range and nurture it, but no time for [...]

Painting to pool today, well touch up

going to eposy the pool, well last time I ran out of the good epoxy and had to buy some from leslies pool supply, which is runny and a different color white, so this time we bought some blue, for the water line and going to add some sand to the steps, and for the google earth deal, going to put a happy face, using the drains as eyes, and the diving board as the tongue, sweet mary's says painting the diving board pink not a good idea ;/

New game, childs play

I bought a new game, on the advice of me brother Elijah, and as usual he disappeared... anyway, it is not as  good as battlefield4 but it is different, more like an updated version of counterstrike from the old days, my first game was Quake, then QuakeII back then you had to create scripts to make  specific key bindings, now its all just clickety click, nice. This new game has more youngsters for sure. it runs ok on my PC, the biggest thing is that this plays on game consoles, which I do not have, and have not had one since we had an Activision game in the early 80's Anchorage. well we tried some nintendo deal, but that was a waste, I had always wante dto play online with my bro's, but that never happened.  I knew better to think this time would be [...]

Not your kind of Native, I have relinquished my interest your NaTive culture

So, it has been a long way, embracing my Native Ancestry, and on the same swoop, turning away from the Native  culture of today, which is not Native, but more in line of a governmental puppet system. that is not to say, that I will not accept any measly payments that they decide to sprinkle on the ground, or jobs or benefits, that may be of benefit, no that would be lame, but I have not interest in your dealing, and except for checking if the mail has a check in it,  eye see no reason to read your propaganda, just like the koniag letter they all go into the trash unread.  My thinking is now, to pass down the shares, even though my family has integrated into society, and need nothing from these entities, it is their decision to make, if they give it [...]

Why I Question our Existence? why ask why?

Why ask why? I dont really know, but I have always wanted to learn more, not just something, or enough, I have always went overboard in my learning more, maybe it was a book my mom got me when I was younger,  it was how things work or something of that nature. But that was not the start of me questioning our culture or world, our existence, no that came with my cancer, I admit, I was just another drone, a meaningless cog in a world of cogs. There have always been hints, like the Marijuana issue, especially me being a drunken fool, consistently doing stupid shit, under the spell of booze. Nothing has gripped my life like the drink. smoke some pot, I turned into a catatonic bumbling boob, but after the first wave wore off, I could drive or do anything that [...]

O Wendy what went wrong 🙁

Well another classmate has passed away, she looked so vibrant and healthy, she was one of the few I like to check up on, I had seen she was having some issues, but she looked fine. She was very popular back in the high school days, she was one of the coveted Sand Canyon Girls. this is a road south of town, which has lots of acreage homes, horse properties if you will, She was a beauty, inside and out. she had a love for her family and her pets. so unfair. I always feel bad that I did not reach out and say hi, but life is complicated, I knew here in my sophomore year at Canyon High, her besty or one of them was Holly Degnan, a temporary kissing partner of mine 🙂 loved to kiss, it was so much fun. I remember [...]

this site is going to be moved, hopefully

the rent on this server has skyrocketed over 300% so I must find a different host, well I have found a few, but will need to migrate it... if I have time, or lose everything,  a new beginning perhaps?

We are a Cancer on the Earth beloved humans

We are all blind, well most of us I woke up last night as my usual wakefulness, and the tv was on, I switched to netflix  and put on a boring documentary about the Oceans. that usually puts me back to sleep, not last night, at least until I seen, what I already knew from watching the Cowlicious documentary about how our farms and cows are already polluting the Earth. It is good we have all these issues for people to bitch about, yet the real important ones, the future of the EArth is at stake!! no shit sherlock well maybe overstated, it may take another 100 years of killing off the oceans and most of the creatures, so I as most of you will be all dead, selfish humans, just like our predecessors My question ot you, all of you, are we no more [...]

harsh realities of being overweight, sudden death

I feel very grateful to have lived 58 years on this planet, there are many that do not, I was once working on the hill building downtown Anchorage with this laborer seemed heatlthy enough, he died suddenly, he was 38. my cousin Peter died suddenly, he was about the same age, food addiction is nothing to sluff off, when we die, our story stops, over, nothing, except the words and memories of "others" sure you dead, in heaven perhaps? that is another story.. This is serious business, we have become lackadaisical  in our health, we have become sheep, at least I was, Cancer and the whole Medical Dynasty has opened up my eyes to a huge health problem, heart attacks are caused by diet, the food you eat, can and will kill you, or make you well. FOOD IS MEDICINE Way back in high school a  [...]

Seattle the Emerald state

I do miss Seattle at times, the water is everywhere, the green trees, the lakes, the woods. They tore down my old high School, Lynwood high school, I tried to add it to schools that I had attended, and was only able to add Meadowdale, not even sure I know where that school is :/ Facebook hey, facebook, why you delete my school from existence? why? why? they having a 40 year reunion, I dont remember too many people from back then, a handful, Brian Amend, Kenny Snyder and his sister. Joe and John roach, RIP John, Pat Brock, and Joy S, her brother Dave. she and Pat were on again off again, had a small crush on that blond, but she was pats girl friday of sorts, fun listening to them I remember, then there was Tom Werth, he now a prominent weed master, [...]

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