my mind swirls with anticipation, fear and a lick of animosity. the end of the line could be sooner than later. I know I must  keep  my expectations in check of my fellow humans to expect more of myself. to rise to a higher level, above the fray. It has to be how I can be better, do better. I know I am more than capable. yet the truth is that is not enough.

my mission get a job buy a boat, not nessarilly in thart order.

Hey, so I am doing all these gene bullshit… but why are the nordic people light skinned, blue eyed, when the Inuit also come from a northern teritory, maybe its those sunglasses the ones with the slits? I want a pair of those, I keep seeing them on the internet, but they never have a purchase area ;/

going to my island, too bad I feel like they made me into the black sheep there boo hoo.  I not  even sure it if is worth reaching out anymore. I know why is because of my spreading the truth, as so many people do. BUT, it was only herasay hairsay heresay hmm i am  a shit speller and my grammar could use an enima ;/

I shared the emails. they were truth, I will do that again as it seems to make no difference that I deleted them. I will be more respecful of the passed for sure. espessially parents, when I was only repeating like so many people do hearsay ;) I have no plans, maybe I will get a job in anchorage and my trip will be misaligned. jt just made me a sirloin steak, perfect, you know what. a perfect rare sirloin is delicious. I feel twice as strong as a second ago :)

so off I go on the yellow brick road. I do have this fear in me. just stay here live out an existence become  a handyman, UH let me tell you a secret. I dont respect the term handyman. not tat all. I had many work for me. I can respect a true artisian, but handyman, it is true the old saying a  jack of all trades a master of none. I guess I fit that mold. I am not a master of any really. well maybe the metal, but still lots to learn. Hey let me tell you a secret. if you build everythign like an erector set it is easy, once you start having different size pieces,  or unlevel unsquare. you have  what we like to call a goat fuck.