pity pot, that was an aa saying. yeah I go there from time to time. this last year since Nome and my skin, hair and eye issues have taken their toll. but I am alive and well in Arizona. I am alone as we all are, dependant co dependant is all bullshit. we have choices. when I or anyone starts blaming their disposition on someone or something else it only gives temporary relief. maybe I am persecuted, yet what to do, I can run and hide. I always have options. I know when I die, it will be me nobody else. sad up until then, but when the shit hits the fan, Im dead, its over no more tears, no more beers. ok so I dont drink. but I have been able to have some good times in the last year thanks to a little magic 🙂 so fuck off if that is not your bag, you 0ld hag. hahahha wow cant I be rotten bastard like.
so I may have cancer again, same one as before left side of throat cancer, o fuck me. fuck suck duck me. ok i find out on the 16th. had some biopsies but by a skin dermo PA, no results till 22nd.
On bigger news. my cousin Fredrick Simeonoff has passed away, I learned in a text his sister Ellen. I am very saddened, and a little guilty, I feel like I should have done more, or been there more, yet this whole mother fucking skin issues have me fucked for the last year. still buying shit for a magic cure, they say no cure for autoImmune bullshit. I know that is all stems from my treatment for stage 4 throat cancer, the chemo and radiation, I think the radical neck dissection 18 hours in OR was needed not that long, but I almost bled out when the stiches did not work
enough of my wine and dine story. Fred was the son of Peter simeonoff, my dads half brother. he died a few years after the youngest brother fred simeonoff, who died in a helicopter crash in vietnam. I remember fred first when I was fishing in kodiak for Ivar Malutin on the Bertha Marie, at least I think that was the year, maybe the same year my uncle fred Monson died in a plane crash with hal and the other locals. I might have been on the desperado with fred devoe, ill have to finger this out. well if you know it was the year that mike tyson fought bone crusher smith for a few seconds, I had gotten him drunk with a flask of something usually schnapps or blackberry brandy in those days. we laughed at bone crusher having problems breaking a chicken bone. Fred was an actor, he went and lived in los angeles, had a working actor card from the union or whatever it is.. I remember going to visit him in LA, he was in downtown, scary place for a white native to be. we went to zuma, he was surprised to see such a nice so close to the hood. unlike santa monica, which is homeless central, even back then. Fred was a proud Veteran of the United States Army. one thing about fred, he was a christian through and through, he new every religion and what the differences were, he was a guitar builder from scratch. Fred had many many talents. he was good to a fault, I know you people think that can not be a fault, but when your taken advantage of… I wish I could have been more helpful, yet I know you want to trust the doctors. I will miss fred, he is really one of the last of my cousins where we were also friends. he did not pull punches or pussy foot around either I loved that about him, you knew his stance on the world and of you. Rest in Peace my Friend, I will meet you in the “spirit in the sky”
