Oh wtf, so dinner tonight at chops best western Wasilla, and guess who was there, my cock blocker from 4 corners, I’m still trying to get over the girl who drinks water, for you information, I drink more coffee than water, that night I had 32 NA beers. So it is 3 days later, and I can’t get her out of my brain, not koots, Jerry wessling or even wild horses could not drive her from my mind, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, just SICK, real sick sick, I love her, if she didn’t know, she will never know, I tried to tell hervwhike solo dancing, I was imagining losing everything to be hers. Hell she probably married with children, still not sure if I was a sister or crazed stalker, well never stalker, without her permission, I’ll fly away hurt and dejected, but not interested in one sided love 💕 I’m still searching for her on Facebook, not sure if I’d make contact, but driven to an so this private dick was 8′ from me at dinner tonight, a native like me, mixed was at the table too, and there was a couple native ladies adjacent to their table, my mind wandered back and forth as homer asked about sweet mary, but the highlight of dinner was the snoozing baby across the room, he a awakened and stared at me longer than usual, I thought of the lady dancer, thinking I want to make babies with her, our own children. Was this just all another figment of my imagination, it was earlier, I was walking in the restraunt looking for the lady, and then seeing cock blocker. I’m going insanely sane. I fly away in da morning. It’s really killing me . So why didn’t I go out and talk to her, why why, I keep kicking myself, dammit, I don’t even know her name. Will I ever win? I guess not, my therapy, which was done by the mushroom lady, she is tough, I listened to her and as she buzzed me with the frequency machine, I spilled my guts, planned on another session, but she reneged, I was willing to pay for her not the rif thingy, I feel her posts, she deep, saying to clean up house and but I knew it was more than house cleaning. I don’t know what my future holds, I just want to see her face again, we never get second chances, if idid, would I? Maybe I’m just a mess, maybe just 🤔
She probably never knew my kice was instant, well by the time glacier started it’s 3rd song, my eyes bypassed all the others, fixated on my love 4 her. 🙁 I want to wipe it away, yes it Persists. I keep looking hoping she shows up on something int face, or somewhere anywhere. I’ll get over here… I really think she waited outside 4 me to approach, I was hoping she would come back in, maybe it was all just wishful delusions on my part, how could someone so perfect 4 me, someone to move stars 4, climb mountains, whatever it takes to make happy. I know big dummy I have that already, silly rabbit, see what my mind gets off on, could I even follow through? Or just become another jaded woman under my pleasure cruise, the dark side if anyone text me 907-538-2742
