my favorite hike to get the cobwebs out of my brain the supersitions at lost dutchman state park. it was suposed to be 100 I took a few litres of sparkling water, which ended up being a mistake. I took my new phone to take pictures, only to find out the battery drained quickly as the gps locate mechanism killed my phone. Anyway you can never match the beauty of this hike on an image, I went to the top, above flatiron about 1/2 hour. there were lots of pesky in your ear mosqitos, but also zillions of butterfiles, which made up for the pesky skeetos, also some other kinds of bugs, many bugs actually, but the star of my show was the ravens, they put on a show, flying freestyle acrobatics. at one point there were so many above me, the sound of thier wings cutting through the air was like waves hitting the beach, also saw a hummingbird, an orange something. I aslo had an epiphany or quite a few, about nature, if I want something there will always be mosquitos distracting buzzing talking, but you must work through them to get where your going. nobody has my best interest at heart, the buck stops right here. I am tired worn out today, expected to write more, but instead I think me needs a nap. I am still lovesick, wanting some strange, my mind is warped into a cage of my own making, I thinks many of wanters, but not takers, I need a taker, step up, speak up, only room for one mouse in this house. lol. well Im going to have to find some works, no more unemployment checks for awhile. fuck fuck fuck. the sweet smell of pussy fills the air in my minds eye. so far yet so close. I gots to fix some roof tiles today. I have had a tough year, since last year being layed off by cornerstone, and my skin and scalp hair issues. I keep saying that im not under any stress. maybe Im just as much in denial about my stress as I am about wanting things. how do I learn to want nothing? is wanting nothing really the road to happiness? I was told to get a hobby, at hobby lobby, that shit does not interest me. I think it would be nice to have a dirtbike, or one of those razer off roaders, yet its just more shit. I have to start thinking bout dying, if im not going to live a fun exiting life, might as well start dying, want nothing care about nothing, do nothing, my life will mirror all the other uhappy people stuck watching the brainwash machines, tv, phone, other people. I am truly miserble and stuck, im getting fatter and fatter, sicker and sicker. O and maybe my throat cancer is back, got an appointment to see the ENT people, same rubbery thing on the same side of my throat, but only this one started on the outside, had some pieces cut off by the dermotologist, I dont have much confidence in them, but she did press here pussy against me while cutting off a head plug, Im a dork, weak dork, I was like melted butter. hahaha ok I say not to read this horshit espessially if you have skin in my game. my new camera i bought last year has a crack lcd already and i never used it. life was so good when I was making songs, now Im just waiting to die. I give up stuck in my own mind made misery. O so I was watching the ravens, and noticed, they were all the same size, unlike in sitka alaska, they had fat ones ugly ones and they all looked different. IDK
