we all have our foundations, like a building is only as good as its footings and the earth is stands on. I am a testamant to a person who has improved over the years, maybe not as fast, but mentally and spiritually. I still hold on to some quirks. I slept in today oh it feels so good, but hard to come out of it. deep rem sleep. I love when I can remember my dreams, sometimes I try to return, rarely with success. I was kissing a woman french style. that has been many years since that has happened. In my drinking days it was natural,but with age the human mouth, ewww. I often look back on old parties passing around a bottle like pigs, one time I woke up hung over with fur in my mouth reached for a full beer laying on a counter and started chugging me some hair of the dog, got a few gulps in before I felt a ciggaratte going down too :(
here are some life moment that changed me, when uncle freddy simeonoff died in Vietnam, I realized I too was going to die. I cried for both of us. when I quit drinking in 1996, wow many moons ago, been trying to quit for years, often swearing it off and going on the wagon. getting married changed me, well not much I was still bad richard. getting kicked to the curb, and losing my family was definitly a change, which led to quitting the sauce. having babies changed me, bless thier hearts. moving to Arizona was a big change, stage 4 throat cancer, quiting drinking in 1996 was a super big change working the steps and asking god for help. when my father died was a big change, I still have quilt associated with the last years of his life, i know I was raising kids, but I could have done more, or been better. lots happened my brother gilbert fell off a ladder and got traumatic brain injury. losing my eye was a changer for sure. still lookin for it. yeah it is what it is. often judged as handicaped, people suck. i have to forgive people, like jesus they know not what they do father. is that a real jesus saying? o they had some music here at the brew house last nigh an hour, like 30’s music it was cute got jiggy a few times, I went and picked up 4 more steaks and more eggs, been eating steak and eggs for dinner everynight. the crew seems better towards the end. let bygones be bye bye. holding grudges or bad feelings just hurts oneself. really not bad. I like to do the work, carpentry, Im glad I can help out painting drywall and mud taping, so messy. well slept in so goody bye good luck sa la veee
