the song the last dance
was played at dances bars and roller rinks back in my days growing up. I long for the days of old at times, just a taste of those days. I would not change my childhood young adulthood for all the tea in china. the good bad and ugly. like pimping for beer at the local 7-11, drinkng boones farm, even blacking out at such a young age. drinking should have been the death of me, but tit was not, it was the begining of the end. the end being my last days on this earth, or years months, but we all must go to the spirit in the sky. high school dances, bars, and parties with bands and bonfires, that was my formative years. my first roller skates were made with metal wheels, i can still remember slapping on the concrete in hawthorne. or jumping into a pool with roller skates on, pool with no water btw. or going down whits canyon from sky blue in my rollerblades, they made going over rocks less risky :/ but the bestest part was dancing to the greatest music of our centuries. the slow dances with all these girls, I remember the dark dances like it was yesterday, the smell of the hair, the closeness, some sweat, oh nothing better in this life, one time it was at canyon high dance and dancing with this girl from saugus high, I longed for her for days, never seeing her again. The ultimate growing up experience was at Magic mountain, we used to sneak in every night in the summer, there were hordes of us who would get in for free everytime all the time, by a con, or climb the fences, it was easier at the front, we tried at the backside not as easy. eventually they started giving out season passes to locals, we were in like flynn. they had a dance floor everynight, that and the rides, we liked the roller coasters and the water rides the most, but the most fun was dancing in the pavillion. they would have all kinds of music, I remember one time dancing with a mostly black crowd just getting jiggy letting go and going with the music, and yes I danced to disco, rock, and country. Never learned the 2 step, tried but wth. singing and dancing was the fun of life. what more could you want, let your inhibitions run wild with a little bit of budwiser, thats what, or a lot. I am just a dog chasing its tail these days hoping to be able to sing my songs to karaoke, and dance without being judged, dance like a stripper if that what I feel or go crazy like a mosh monkey, whater the music makes me feel. that has been stolen in Sitka, I had high hopes, the the ant has high hopes. sure I want to skiff, hunt fish and just sit around a fire, or sit in an banya for hours cleaning and preening myself, those are all part of my dream for a “peaceful easy feeling” I may never find that again. the price is any ego or self respect I have for myself given to
y. is that a word, angry, no I know I put myself here, just as I can lift myself out. the key is to do so clean without too much malice. so this is the last week. where will I go now. somehow I have to change the way I move towards this wanting to feel free, to be free of the self imposed chains I have wrapped inside my brain. dont get me wrong, sex is good but dancing a slow dance is much nicer, more better. just that clean nice closeness.
